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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It speaks volumes about the kind of person you are

33 replies

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 19:58

What do people think of this comment, in this context

I met a dad at the playground around a month ago, my Dd was playing with his Dd and we sat chatting, he was a very nice guy, we really seemed to click in a platonic, friends way. We exchanged numbers for the girls to play together, he wants his Dd to improve her English and I think it would benefit my Dd to learn more of the language of the country we’re in (not U.K.)
We’ve exchanged messages back and forth, but unfortunately haven’t been able to meet up, this is due to our side as Dd has been ill or we’ve been away/busy.
I felt bad for turning down so many invites and was due to possibly meet after school today, but Dd has been ill, so I messaged him to apologise and explained the whole situation about school, as Dd has been not wanting to go to school recently.
He was very supportive and said if it would help to get the girls together, he’d be there and that I didn’t owe him any explanation of course, but that he appreciates me taking time to text him and that it speaks volumes about the kind of person I am.
Is this a really nice thing to say? It’s been a while since someone’s said something like that to me.

OP posts:
Sue152 · 31/05/2024 20:05

Yes it's a nice thing OP. What are you thinking here exactly. I'm not sure what you're getting at? Do you think he might want to be more than friends?

5128gap · 31/05/2024 20:06

Yes it's a very nice thing to say. Quite gushy in fact as he's stretched quite a bit in order to pay you a compliment. If you're confident his intentions are platonic then I'd say you've made a very nice friend. He obviously thinks a lot of you.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:12

@5128gap But we met once…is that a bit weird?

OP posts:
Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:13

@Sue152 I’m not sure, I don’t think so, I was just a bit surprised, seems a lot? I’m just not used to people saying things like that I suppose!

OP posts:
Busbusbusbusbus · 31/05/2024 20:14

Have you posted this before, sounds familiar a thread where exactly the same about a woman meeting a man in the park and asking if she should text him both have DDs and both not in the uk... I believe you are both not single?

5128gap · 31/05/2024 20:15

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:12

@5128gap But we met once…is that a bit weird?

Its a bit intense I guess. Are you both single?

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:16

@Busbusbusbusbus I have, that’s why I’m querying it a bit I think? I haven’t met up so far and have always had to say no and felt a bit guilty for never meeting up, then he texted that, is it weird?

OP posts:
fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 20:17

Why do you care about this man so much? You were told on the last thread that it was all a bit inappropriate.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:17

@Busbusbusbusbus I don’t think about him a lot at all, I have avoided meeting up, but he’s texted 3/4 times now to meet and I’ve been busy each time

OP posts:
Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:19

@fieldsofbutterflies I don’t care, I just wonder if this message is a bit weird? Although a lovely thing to say, a bit much? I don’t know, I suppose I feel a bit uncomfortable now as haven’t met up and have given excuses each time, well they were genuine reasons but really I could have met up a different day

OP posts:
Sue152 · 31/05/2024 20:23

I guess just meet up with him again and see how it goes. He hasn't said you're the most beautiful women he's ever met or declared his love. Maybe he's a weirdo or maybe he just thinks it would be nice to have someone his dd can have a play date with and is glad you haven't ghosted him.

Justcallmebebes · 31/05/2024 20:23

He sounds quite normal and straightforward. You seem to be making it far more convoluted than it should be. Why are you over analysing it?

fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 20:24

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:19

@fieldsofbutterflies I don’t care, I just wonder if this message is a bit weird? Although a lovely thing to say, a bit much? I don’t know, I suppose I feel a bit uncomfortable now as haven’t met up and have given excuses each time, well they were genuine reasons but really I could have met up a different day

It's just a normal message.

I also don't really believe you don't care, otherwise you'd not have posted asking about him again.

Sue152 · 31/05/2024 20:25

If you want to meet up then suggest a day and get it over with! You're over thinking it too much now I think. If you don't want to meet up again then tell him you've got too much on at the moment or something.

Hopper123 · 31/05/2024 20:26

It sounds as though you are feeling a bit unsure and wondering whether this is actually platonic op. You have stated it feels uncomfortable now. Does your partner know about this man? If not why not? If its truly platonic I mean. If you feel uncomfortable maybe that's a sign to just let his messaging fizzle out and move on from worrying about it.

ZebraD · 31/05/2024 20:28

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:13

@Sue152 I’m not sure, I don’t think so, I was just a bit surprised, seems a lot? I’m just not used to people saying things like that I suppose!

I think it seems a lot to swap numbers after only meeting once tbh…

SuperGreens · 31/05/2024 20:29

I met a lot of people when I was an expat who were very keen for their child to have more exposure to English language. It opens doors when they're older and is much easier to learn a 2nd language properly when you're a child. So it could just be that.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:33

@SuperGreens Yes likely just that, I’m quite a shy person so just overthinking/not feeling massively comfortable. I did try to let it fizzle out a bit. He sent a follow up video of his Dd showing her new shoes and asking my Dd if she wanted to play with her. It’s nice but seems a bit much. Dd has lots of different friends, I’m wondering if this girl doesn’t have that many or it’s just about the English thing. His Dd seems very smart and he thinks my Dd is, so could be beneficial for them to play together. It seems like the time has passed now? If I met a new friend for play dates and they hadn’t been able to come 3/4 times, I think I’d leave it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:36

@Hopper123 I did tell Dp at the time, havent since as it was just a person I was trying to find the time to fit in for a play date and we’ve not done it yet

OP posts:
Bellevilles · 31/05/2024 20:39

It’s nice but a bit much. In the wider context, it sounds a bit odd but it’s not clear whether he’s being too much or you’re obsessing about him a bit.

LoreleiG · 31/05/2024 20:40

OP, you have thought an awful lot about this chance encounter. It’s almost like the beginning of a film script.

Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:43

@Bellevilles Not obsessing just relaying the message etc
It could be a culture thing, this Brit isn’t that used to be people being so openly nice

OP posts:
Original poster
Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:44

@LoreleiG Havent really thought much until the recent text

OP posts:
LoreleiG · 31/05/2024 20:54

Baddancingbackintheday · 31/05/2024 20:44

@LoreleiG Havent really thought much until the recent text

Ok then.