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Can't visit friend as her dog is racist

483 replies

CaliforniaCookie · 31/05/2024 19:15

I was making plans to visit one of my best friends.
She is white and I'm mixed race.

She told me she was concerned as her new dog who i haven't met, is racist.

Anytime he sees a person who is not white he goes mental.

This is honestly not a fake post.

Not sure how to respond. Advice welcome.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SeatonCarew · 31/05/2024 19:49

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 31/05/2024 19:24

We had a dog who hated men. Would bark incessantly. My dad just worked on him. Kept coming over. Kept giving the dog his space. One day my dad picked up the lead and the dog walked to the front door waiting for him to bring him for a walk.

They were great buddies from that day on.

Yes, we've had three rescues who weren't happy with men. It soon changed when they realised our house was safe and happy.

thenightsky · 31/05/2024 19:50

My horse used to freak out if we had to pass a blue car. Animals are weird sometimes. I wish I knew what my lurcher was thinking.

BamBamHam · 31/05/2024 19:50

Surprised to see the above! Chihuahuas obviously need to get out more

Dogs are ‘prejudiced’ against other dogs too. Breeds with squashed faces such as pugs often get distrusting / fearful responses from other dogs as they have unusual features and their facial expressions are difficult to read.

whatkatysdoingnow · 31/05/2024 19:50

Her dog needs to be exposed to more non-white people in a safe, supervised environment to get over it.

The question is, are you happy to be one of those people? If you're comfortable with dogs normally and don't mind being barked at non-stop, it could be helpful to your friend if you visited and spent some time with her and the dog.

If you're not the best with dogs, I wouldn't visit, as you might find a constantly barking dog terrifying.

CassieMaddox · 31/05/2024 19:50

CaliforniaCookie · 31/05/2024 19:41

Honestly, this is not a windup. I said i would like to come visit her. She was enthusiastic but she said, I am worried about my dog. He seems racist as anyone who isn't white - on tv or in person - he goes mental at.

I don't think it's relevant, but she is 'Up North' and i am 'Down South'.

She was 100% genuine in her concern!

I have a racist dog Blush
I'm pretty sure he'd be won over very quickly by the chicken trick up thread. Also just ignore the dog when you meet it, stand side on to it and let it sniff your hand before you say hello. Low eye contact too.

Corinthiana · 31/05/2024 19:50

All these animals are just thinking "humans are weird".

Zanatdy · 31/05/2024 19:51

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 31/05/2024 19:38

It’s a fucking dog.

it probably has four brain cells and they are all concerned with food, wee and chasing the cat. There really isn’t any more capacity there for anything else.

You clearly don’t understand dogs at all, there is capacity for much more than you believe. It’s actually pretty common

fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 19:51

It's definitely a "thing".

Dogs can react badly to things they're unfamiliar with, especially if they were never exposed to those things during their socialisation period. Mine hates temporary traffic lights and people using umbrellas, lol.

Of course it's not racism in the human sense.

Corinthiana · 31/05/2024 19:51

BamBamHam · 31/05/2024 19:50

Surprised to see the above! Chihuahuas obviously need to get out more

Dogs are ‘prejudiced’ against other dogs too. Breeds with squashed faces such as pugs often get distrusting / fearful responses from other dogs as they have unusual features and their facial expressions are difficult to read.

Oh my god! That's actually really sad. Poor pugs.

Nopetynope · 31/05/2024 19:51

Fucking hell, cannot believe people think their dog is racist!Dogs do not inderstand ethnicity, its just that someone looks different. In the same way that my dog doesn't like people with crash helmets or high viz jackets.
I just give these people a wide berth if out and about.

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 31/05/2024 19:52

Like whaaaaaa? Confused

BewaretheIckabog · 31/05/2024 19:52

BamBamHam · 31/05/2024 19:50

Surprised to see the above! Chihuahuas obviously need to get out more

Dogs are ‘prejudiced’ against other dogs too. Breeds with squashed faces such as pugs often get distrusting / fearful responses from other dogs as they have unusual features and their facial expressions are difficult to read.

I know a small terrier who hates little white dogs and a retriever who doesn’t like black dogs.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 31/05/2024 19:52

Zanatdy · 31/05/2024 19:51

You clearly don’t understand dogs at all, there is capacity for much more than you believe. It’s actually pretty common

You clearly don’t understand irony.

Do you really think dogs have it in their mind to be racist?

WiddlinDiddlin · 31/05/2024 19:52

Dogs obviously cannot be racist.

However they can be worried about and reactive over things they have not been well socialised to, people, other animals, things they have not made a positive association with.

Kicking off at seeing different coloured, shaped, sized people is no different to reacting to seeing a human growing out of a horse (horse and rider) or someone using a wheelchair (weirdly gliding along when seated humans normally stay still!) or any other novel thing.

Distance - find the distance at which the dog can see and NOT react.

Positive association (classical conditioning) - pair seeing the trigger with high value treats, until the dogs emotional response changes. This is not 'training' there is no need for the dog to behave, be good, sit, down, whatever, this is pure classical conditioning 'thing/person/event = reinforcer'.

Gradually reduce distance and add in other elements like the person talking to the dog, moving, standing up etc verrrrrrry gradually.

Do not:

Yell at the dog.
Use aversive devices like prong or shock collars.
Have the object of their fear lure them in with food (gets them too close then once the food is gone, they're in at the deep end without any distraction, a great way to get a bite!)
Flood the dog (have the person they're scared of move in for a week, or take them to a super busy place), this is likely to make matters worse, not better particularly as it can lead to the dog shutting down and NOT reacting which LOOKS like the dog is better... until that suppression fails.

SeatonCarew · 31/05/2024 19:52

time2changeCharlieBrown · 31/05/2024 19:24

My dog hates anyone in a high viz vest!!!
my mums dog hated collies
and I have a friend that says her dog is racist too!! Bizarre! Wonder if it’s to do with the socuialisation period when pups

My uncle's collie used to hate cars. Really hated them, attacked one once. Luckily it was a three wheeler. 🤣. True story.

BamBamHam · 31/05/2024 19:52

Corinthiana · 31/05/2024 19:51

Oh my god! That's actually really sad. Poor pugs.

Not always tho! I know a pug who lives with a terrier and they get on very well :D

BrightLightTonight · 31/05/2024 19:53

One of my horses was racist - he hated black dogs!

I think all animals are scared/worried about people/things they haven’t encountered before. Your friend needs to work with the dog to get it comfortable with different types of people, that includes large men, noisy teenagers, and POC’s

fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 19:54

BamBamHam · 31/05/2024 19:50

Surprised to see the above! Chihuahuas obviously need to get out more

Dogs are ‘prejudiced’ against other dogs too. Breeds with squashed faces such as pugs often get distrusting / fearful responses from other dogs as they have unusual features and their facial expressions are difficult to read.

Yep, mine is terrified of black Frenchies. Really terrified. He's never had a bad experience with one but he just can't "read" them. No tail, squished up faces and no obvious body language either way.

fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 19:55

SeatonCarew · 31/05/2024 19:52

My uncle's collie used to hate cars. Really hated them, attacked one once. Luckily it was a three wheeler. 🤣. True story.

I suspect that was herding, rather than hatred. It's really, really common in collies.

Zanatdy · 31/05/2024 19:55

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 31/05/2024 19:52

You clearly don’t understand irony.

Do you really think dogs have it in their mind to be racist?

Well racist is obviously not the correct word, but dogs can have an aversion to many things and skin colour is certainly one. High viz vests another, so many things, they aren’t as simple as you make out

Theunamedcat · 31/05/2024 19:55

thenightsky · 31/05/2024 19:50

My horse used to freak out if we had to pass a blue car. Animals are weird sometimes. I wish I knew what my lurcher was thinking.

Saw a horse freak out over my red pushchair the owner couldn't get him to go forward no matter what he was dancing in circles going backwards I stood still not wanting to make life worse by trying to go past (I was a distance away I though approaching would make it worse) in the end he said you carry on turned him round and went back to the farm

Zanatdy · 31/05/2024 19:56

fieldsofbutterflies · 31/05/2024 19:54

Yep, mine is terrified of black Frenchies. Really terrified. He's never had a bad experience with one but he just can't "read" them. No tail, squished up faces and no obvious body language either way.

Yes a lot of dogs don’t like black dogs or flat faced breeds, mine is the same with flat face breeds, the noises they make freak him out too

user1471453601 · 31/05/2024 19:56

My dog was a lockdown puppy, so didn't get much social interaction when young. We've tried to rectify that, but she's still wary of people who come to the house.

My oldest (as in, the one I've known for a for a long time) friend is black, and isn't really comfortable around dogs.

our dog barked and barked at friend. Friend, not unreasonably, showed her fear, so it all spiralled.

the next time friend came round I stood with her and put my arms around her kissing her on the cheek. This is our usual greeting, but usually out of sight of our dog.
This time, our dog saw me doing it. Bingo. She stopped barking and even let my friend give her a treat.

very brave for both of them.

perhaps your dog does not trust your friend, thinks that they are a threat?

And I don't believe animals can be racist. Racism requires more than dislike, it requires a degree of malice that I don't think animals are capable of. An animal may indeed kill you. But it won't be about your colour. It could be from fear, it could be because you are seen as weak, it could be because they are hungry. I find it hard to believe it's because of your colour.

TinySmol · 31/05/2024 19:57

My sister's dog was the same.
Barked like mad at Black people. Think he joined the Klan or something.
We were mortified. It was very embarrassing.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 31/05/2024 19:58

Zanatdy · 31/05/2024 19:55

Well racist is obviously not the correct word, but dogs can have an aversion to many things and skin colour is certainly one. High viz vests another, so many things, they aren’t as simple as you make out

Of course racist isn’t the right word.

This is barking mad.

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