11 year old wants ear piercing

[Kira4]

My 11yo has really got a bee in her bonnet about wanting new ear piercings. She had had her ears pierced (lobes) when she was 8 (she’d been asking for ages) and now she wants a second lobe piercing and to get a piercing further up her ear (she said it’s called a helix).

Her dad initially told her a resounding no but that we’d discuss it because she keeps on about it. There was a suspicion that some of her friends (and maybe her) were planning to sneakily go and get pierced without telling anyone (don’t think/hope they'd have been successful) so I’m a bit relieved she’s openly asking and wanting to discuss it with us (she can be quite charming and persuasive when she wants to be!)

I’m inclined to compromise and use the second lobe piercing as a carrot/reward over the summer but do think the higher up ear piercing is something she’s way too young for. Would they even do that on a kid even with parental permission? Her dad and I will have to agree and suspect he won’t budge on either.

The last paragraph is such an exaggeration. My helix was absolutely nothing like that.

Just to add, I was underage and got a helix piercing done with a gun in a beauty salon, without parental permission. It was a stupid mistake, it migrated out of the cartilage over the course of about three years and only then finally stopped hurting and oozing constantly. I still have it because I think if I took it out I'd have a weird dent where it used to sit in the cartilage. It's only in the skin now so very shallow.

My DD got a helix done at about 14yo , we live in Zone 6 (rules are different in different areas , for example she couldn't get it done at Metalmorphosis - Central London ) Parental Consent and signing the form , as it is not permenant it is allowed here

I took her to a recommended piercer (sterile needle) it healed nicely ....then a while later a hairdresser caught her ear with a comb between the skin and the jewellery . It got infected , didn;t settle , huge granulation lump , she had to remove it .

I have a forward helix , over a year later it;s not healed enough that I want to change it .

2nd lobe , if done with a needle and small studs . Check school policy though ( I told DD if the school complained she'd have to remove hers )

But yes , at the end if it she is 11 and you have the final say .

I’m terrified of her going and doing something stupid like this. It’s awful that there are places that would do this and probably far worse without parents being there to give consent.

So definitely not ideal for an 11 year old who loves sports!

What's the big deal? She already has piercings. It doesn't make sense to her that she can have her ears pierced but then not.

I'm not really bothered about this stuff, if she has gone to the bother of research and a mood board, I'd just go with it.

I'd say yes to the second lobe piercing and no the the helix.

@70isaLimitNotaTarget thanks. She rarely wears the earrings she has to school anyway because she does a lot of sport and ends up losing them so don’t think she’d have a problem with a not wearing to school rule for the second lobe ones. Her school is very strict on jewellery and have even confiscated bracelets from her before which I think is a bit harsh but thems the rules!

As a fairly pierced person myself I haven’t been able to say no to my daughter. Our local piercing studio however won’t pierce second lobes under 14, which has taken the pressure off as she knows it’s not me saying no, but the studio. I had my helix done at 12 and it was bloody horrendous to heal.

@Trinity69 oh thank you. Do you know why? Is a second lobe in some way more likely to cause some kind of damage or something than just the one?

You can get fake jewellry cuffs that you need to pinch to fit them over the edge of the ear ( I used to glue a diamante stud to my nose with false nail glue when I was 16 , also did this on my ears )

My DD wasn't put off piercings , she had a tragus ( but changed it too quickly ) which she to let heal .
When she was 16 she got her belly button done ( she made me go with her even though she could've gone herself ) and recently we got our traguses done .

Any cartilige piecring takes longer to heal , and is vunerable to damage or knocks . I have trained myself to sleep on one side .

Painwise , everyone is different ,and depends on the skill of your piercer .My daith was the least uncomfortable. It is fiddly to fit the jewellery .

11 is OK IMO.

@70isaLimitNotaTarget thanks. You’re speaking a different language I’m afraid but really appreciate your insight. Could there be any risks to a second lobe piercing? She didn’t have any problems getting the one done when she was around 8.

My rules for my dds were: 1st lobe piercing at 11, 2nd at 13, helix at 16, anything else over 18. I think that's quite normal round here. Of course you run the risk that they will get their mates will do it for them (just recently found out that my 18yo has been hiding a small tattoo from me for three years) but I still think it's good for them to have to wait for certain rites of passage.

DD had first lobes at 10, second at 12 I think, then thirds at 16, daith at 16, helix 17, eyebrow 19 ... and she's ruminating on the next.

She reckons the helix was actually the worst of the lot, and a real pain to sleep with. She had the thirds/helix/daith/brow done at a local, well rated tattoo parlour, whose aftercare is great, and they won't do helix until 14 (and lobes until 13).

Yes to echo others my helix took the best part of a year to stop hurting and sleeping on it was a nightmare- I have many piercings and that was deffo the worst!

I’ve no idea but I wasn’t going to argue! I had mine done young and with a gun (used to be £5 a pair in my local hairdressers). I assume it’s to do with being responsible enough to look after them and I assume they know most schools don’t allow more than one piercing.

I don't think there's any danger with a 2nd lobe but it depends on your ear structure how fleshy they are .
I always had really tiny lobes ( as in my ear met my face with no lobe fleshy bit)
I had a 2nd piercing done on one ear at 18 ( with a gun ) as I didn't have enough fleshy ear on the other .

Best thing is to take her to a proper piercing /tattoo salon and let them suggest what will work .
Though be prepared - most use titanium, it is ££ . I spent £85 on 1 gold hoop for my daith to replace my original.
And this isn;t a Maria Tash price salon either !

I’m pretty relaxed about piercings. Mostly because my mum was so strict and wouldn’t allow me to get my ears done until I was 16. So I got my nipples done at 14, belly button done twice (top and bottom) at 15. Then at 16 I got my ears done 3 times, tragus, lip, nose, helix, eye brow and tongue.

I don’t think piercers these days will do underage kids so I’d probably let her have the bottom done again and helix whenever the professionals allow it

I'm very pierced and any piercing further up the ear is a nightmare to heal and keep clean. I have also lost a piercing which was part of a scaffold. I've got a tiny bit of ear missing, albeit covered by other piercings.

No piercer should be working on 11 year olds and school will make her take it out whatever she does. They close over really quick too. If she's that set on it, horror stories won't work so I'd let her try but it'll last 5 minutes. Her 'friends' will probably laugh nervously at her once they egg her on.

Just checked, it’s 13 for second lobes (don’t tell my daughter!) and 14 for cartilage. They require parental consent and ID for both parties.

Best thing is to take her to a proper piercing /tattoo salon and let them suggest what will work .

Yes and she’d be more likely to listen to them about why it wasn’t a good idea/she’s too young than us.

I wouldn't offer a compromise piercing. Because she will still want the higher up one so you're kicking the can down the road and offering her something she doesn't want.

I’d let her have the second lobe piercing but not the helix. I got a second lobe piercing the summer between primary and high school.

@Kira4 this may help you.

Helix’s can be a bastard to heal. I have several and a forward helix which has been an absolute pain to heal. Do they even allow them at school?