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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving 9 year olds home alone

62 replies

Itsrainingten · 31/05/2024 09:51

Would you leave 9 year old twin boys home along for half an hour? I want to go to a gym class that starts at 7.30, meaning I'd have to leave about 7.10 to get their in time. Their dad gets home at 7.30 or 7.45 depending on the trains. The kids are fine with it but I'm not sure. Would you?

OP posts:
Sapphire387 · 31/05/2024 09:52

If they are generally sensible then yes, I would. Not every day. But if it was once or twice a week then yes.

RandomButtons · 31/05/2024 09:54

Personally no.

Original poster
Itsrainingten · 31/05/2024 09:54

It's a one off actually. They're usually at cubs at that time. So I drop them on the way to the gym and collect them on my way home. Works great. But cubs isn't on next week so I'm wondering whether to still go.

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 31/05/2024 09:54

For 30 mins? Yes

ExasperatedManager · 31/05/2024 09:55

No, I think it's too young personally. Their dad could easily be delayed so you couldn't bank on it being only half an hour.

Can you pay a local teenager to keep an eye on them?

2chocolateoranges · 31/05/2024 09:55

At 9 no I wouldn’t.

what happens if your dh misses the train , or you are in an accident on way to gym. The twins could fall out and start arguing etc. not worth the hassle of what ifs that could go wrong.

rubyslippers · 31/05/2024 09:55

Think it’s a bit young
would they sit and watch telly? Are they well behaved?

PuttingDownRoots · 31/05/2024 09:56

You know your 9yos. We don't. Some 9yos would be fine, a lot won't.
Complicated by the fact there's two of them... peer pressure for mischief or support for issues?

IncognitoUsername · 31/05/2024 09:56

Personally I wouldn’t unless it was an emergency. Have you got a friend/neighbour who can sit with them till Dad gets home?

Original poster
Itsrainingten · 31/05/2024 10:02

Wouldn't bother getting anyone else in because it's just a gym class. I could just miss it. Not worried about DH missing the train though. He'd be on it before it left, so if it was cancelled or he missed it then I'd know and wouldn't go
They're pretty sensible. They'd happily sit and play Minecraft. I just worry in case something (not sure what!) unexpected happened.
They do fight but not physically usually. They know how to call my mobile in an emergency but then if have to get back so would be a wait.

OP posts:
MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 31/05/2024 10:07

If sensible. Yes.

Comedycook · 31/05/2024 10:09

No, 9 is too young imo.

Q124 · 31/05/2024 10:11

No I wouldn't. 9 is too young for me.

OverprotectiveMumPFB · 31/05/2024 10:12

Yes, unless they usually fight as soon as you turn your back.

EatTheGnome · 31/05/2024 10:14

Full disclosure, my kids arent that age yet so i dont know.

I'd be happier with an only child because it only takes a moment for horseplay to go horribly wrong.

How quickly could you get home if DH is unable to make the train?

Could you set up a facetime call in their room and leave it running so they know you are "watching" them and they can ask if they are unsure of anything?

I wouldn't allow food while you're not around in case of choking.

For less than an hour for kids happy playing computers, it sounds low risk but if something went wrong, could you live with yourself knowing that was an unnecessary risk? Thats what the decision point is.

Sunpiercer · 31/05/2024 10:15

Sounds fine to me, you know your children best. They can contact you and tell them not to answer the door or eat any food (risk of choking etc worries me)

PrincessConsuelaBag · 31/05/2024 10:17

Think it depends on the child. I’d of left my now 14 year old at 9 for half hour but wouldn’t let my now 9 year old stay alone. She’s extremely impulsive and hyperactive.

ForLovingGreenDog · 31/05/2024 10:24

For me, probably not. It's a matter of considering "What's the worst that could happen?" in any given scenario, the answer to which is pretty dire. Regardless of how sensible the boys are, or how brief the time you plan to be away, we can't predict all potential eventualities about either. While there are no laws stipulating the age children can be left alone, if Children's Services were to become aware of this, you would be under the spotlight for sure. When my children were little, I used to exercise at home, by doing press-ups, sit ups, walking up and down stairs repeats, or using home made weights, eg 2l milk cartons filled with water or the coal bucket). I also ran around the play park while they played. There are countless alternatives to the gym if we want exercise.

MrsSkylerWhite · 31/05/2024 10:25

No, too young

AppleKatie · 31/05/2024 10:28

I’ve read this thread with the opposite consensus before.

i think 9 is on the cusp of ok or not for this and it hugely depends on the child(ren) in question.

Newuser75 · 31/05/2024 10:29

I wouldn't at nine, a year or two if sensible but nine is too young in my opinion. Especially for something non essential. Could you do a you tube video or a bike ride/walk all together?

CandiedPrincess · 31/05/2024 10:29

I have a 10 year old stepdaughter and no. Not that's not sensible but in the event of an emergency, I don't think she'd be capable.

NannyGythaOgg · 31/05/2024 10:30

Yes. Definitely, so long as they are reasonably sensible. Is there a neighbour that they could call on in the very unlikely event of an emergency.

Sago1 · 31/05/2024 10:32

A big fat NO from me.
Imagine the headline…….Tragedy after mother leaves twins alone to attend a gym class!
Im sure Kate and Gerry McCann often wonder why they didn’t just take the children to the restaurant.

SpringBunnies · 31/05/2024 10:33

I have a 9yo and I would. Especially if I know that DH is on the way home.