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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving 9 year olds home alone

62 replies

Itsrainingten · 31/05/2024 09:51

Would you leave 9 year old twin boys home along for half an hour? I want to go to a gym class that starts at 7.30, meaning I'd have to leave about 7.10 to get their in time. Their dad gets home at 7.30 or 7.45 depending on the trains. The kids are fine with it but I'm not sure. Would you?

OP posts:
evtheria · 31/05/2024 13:28

Nope

HelenHen · 31/05/2024 13:29

CactusMactus · 31/05/2024 13:03

Emergency - yes.
Gym class - no.

If it's not safe for a gym class, it's not safe for an emergency.

It absolutely depends on the child though. I left my son for short periods from 9, my daughter from 10. I try to avoid leaving them together though as they fight and that's my biggest concern.

Many of their friends were left from much younger though.

If you're concerned, can your DH stay on the phone with them til he gets home?

Batgin · 31/05/2024 13:42

I would and do leave my almost 10 year old for 30 mins etc between popping to the shop, or crossover between me being home and her dad.

At her age, in year 5, kids younger than her are walking home from school!

blablasmthsmth · 31/05/2024 14:14

I'm surprised at posters saying they would as I thought it was too young.
Maybe it's dependent on the child though because I have a nine year old and he would hate being left home alone, others might not mind.

I still don't know though, it still seems young to me, even if the child was ok with it.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 31/05/2024 14:15

I would
And did!

Theseers · 31/05/2024 14:16

You know how “sensible” kids become sensible ……. It’s not by being coddled that’s for sure

cerebuswannabe · 31/05/2024 14:17

No I wouldn't.

blablasmthsmth · 31/05/2024 14:41

Theseers · 31/05/2024 14:16

You know how “sensible” kids become sensible ……. It’s not by being coddled that’s for sure

Are you implying that not leaving your child alone is coddling them? You don't think different children are different and that parents will know their own children well enough to decide when their own child is ready?

Besides all that, you're wrong anyway. I wouldn't leave my 9 year old home alone but he's very sensible. He's also capable of interacting with people in shops/restaurants etc.

Cyclingforcake · 31/05/2024 15:12

I have a 9 year old. He gets left for 10-20 mins when I’ve got to drop DD somewhere and I know DH is on his way home. Sensible kid who knows I’ll stop letting him if he’s not sensible.

456pickupsticks · 31/05/2024 16:15

30 minutes, with a parent confirmed as on the way home, yes fine, provided:

  • They know what to do in an emergency, and how to identify an actual emergency (eg which adults locally would be able to help, how to call 999 and give their address, to leave the house if there was a fire etc)
  • They feel ok with it
  • There is someone local they can go to it if there's an emergency
  • They will follow any rules you've set - eg don't leave the house, don't turn the cooker on etc.
cadburyegg · 31/05/2024 17:14

I have a 9 year old and plan to start leaving him quite soon for similar periods of time. In September he'll be in y5 where he'll be allowed to walk home from school by himself. If 9 year olds are allowed to walk themselves to and from school then I'd expect most of them to be able to look after themselves at home for 30 minutes. But they do need to be prepped on what to do in an emergency.

JazbayGrapes · 31/05/2024 17:36

As long as they don't fight with each other

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