Leaving 9 year olds home alone

[Itsrainingten]

Would you leave 9 year old twin boys home along for half an hour? I want to go to a gym class that starts at 7.30, meaning I'd have to leave about 7.10 to get their in time. Their dad gets home at 7.30 or 7.45 depending on the trains. The kids are fine with it but I'm not sure. Would you?

Yes I would be fine with that if they are OK with it and they're sensible kids. I think kids are ready to be left at different ages though and you have to use your own knowledge of them and common sense to know when they're ready.

I personally wouldn't leave a 9 year old alone in a house but this is a massive stretch.

You can't compare this with putting your kids to bed and buggering off out for dinner and drinks leaving them alone in a holiday home in a foreign country.

I'd say for that short amount of time yes, if they are sensible. I left my dd for 1 hour a few weeks ago, she was a week off being 10. She knew my mobile number and could ring if there were any issues.

I have one a bit younger than this and I definitely think it depends on the child. And whether we’re talking just turned 9, or almost 10. At our school Year 5s are allowed to walk home alone with parental permission…that will include 9 year olds.

I’ve left my 9 year old that long when I’ve really had to. She’s 11 now

I started going to the shop without DD when she was 10. I’d speak to her when I left, text her from the shop. I’d only be gone about 10 minutes and she never left her room anyway.

I think if you knew your husband was on the way and he could message he had arrived home and you could see that. I’d be fine with it. I mean if they are Sat gaming anyway and they are sensible.
My neighbour leaves her similar aged son for longer. He’s also gaming. He knows not to answer the door and he can message me or another neighbour if there is an issue.

We have 9 year old twins, I don't feel they are old enough to be left home alone yet. High school kids I do for short stints.

Why on earth would you ask a local teenager to mind your kids. That's weird.

Yes I would and do

Doors locked, she can call or text, she’s allowed to eat but no cooking or making tea

MN is weird about leaving kids alone and then you get all the posts about 16/17 year olds who can’t do the most basic of independent tasks

Also at 9 she is expected to:

Go into a shop and follow a list, pack properly and pay

Interact with servers at restaurants and verbally give her own food order

Walk from the carpark into school on her own (who are those weirdos still walking their yr6 kids to the classroom?!)

Generally interact with the world.

I would be happy to leave my nine year old but she wouldn't be ok with it yet. We do basically live in the woods though and she might feel differently if we were on a street with neighbours. There are nine year olds I definitely wouldn't be happy to leave though.

Why is it weird?

My dd is 18 and is more than capable of keeping a couple of 9 year olds safe for a couple of hours. This would be infinitely better than leaving them unattended imo.

Our neighbours have asked dd to watch their kids a few times over the last couple of years. She is extremely mature, sensible, responsible, and as it happens, first aid trained. She also has an enhanced DBS check and experience of working with children.

Of course, you would only ask a teenager if you had someone that you were confident that you could trust, but if you know someone suitable, what would be weird about it exactly?

As long as they're a sensible kid then I'd allow it, especially if it's a one-off.

No, personally think it's still too young. But then I am a bit of a Cautious Carol 😆

Emergency - yes.
Gym class - no.

I would. Have they got a way of contacting you if Dad misses his train and doesn’t turn up?

I think 30 mins for 9 year olds is perfectly reasonable.

We started leaving my DD alone for 15min at 9. DH and DS on their way back from an activity, and I need to head out to a yoga class. She spends it sat on the sofa on her screen.

She's very sensible though. Not sure I'd leave DS at the same age.

Legally I would expect that to be a no. From the training I undertook in September I was told that a child younger than 14 couldn’t have a sibling in their sole care. As twins I think you may fall foul of that.

They would almost certainly be fine but I wouldn’t do it. It’s not worth the worst case scenario risk for a gym class.

If you want to build up independence then leaving children for a short amount of time is a good way to start as long as they are happy with it. You can gradually increase the time/frequency over the next two years so they are more independent once they start secondary school.

I think it depends on your children's maturity and your area.

If it's a safe suburban area and you know your neighbours, I would as you have said they are generally sensible. I would just run through basic safety stuff with them first.

We're in a busy rather anonymous London street so probably wouldn't

No, too young and it's not important enough.

Absolutely fine. Perfectly normal for 9 year olds to stay home alone where I am (younger too but 9 at the very latest as that's when they're too old for after school care) and its not like they're a different breed of human from British kids.

Going back a few years but my mum used to leave the house at 8 and I left for school at 8.45 and was alone depending on what shift my dad was on.

Same on a Friday, used to let myself in at 4 and mum would arrive home about 5.30.

I was a sensible child though.