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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour flirting with my boyfriend

102 replies

bigsaladorlittlesalad · 30/05/2024 21:20

I’ve lived with my boyfriend for 4 months and it’s his house which he’s probably owned for 5/6 years.

Next door is a single woman (assume she’s single, she lives alone and I’ve never seen a man come over). The day I moved in she pulled up on the shared driveway and gave me the dirtiest look.

I also had a parcel she took in and she didn’t bring it over for a week and her smile literally dropped when it was me opening the door and not my boyfriend.

She’s now just come over to ask if boyfriend minds using her drive whilst she’d away on holiday. Literally any excuse to talk to him.

It’s starting to annoy me so much

OP posts:
Femme2804 · 03/06/2024 22:38

are your boyfriend brad pitt? If not then you are delusional. Unless your bf ever shagging her. Ask your boyfriend.

Jc2001 · 03/06/2024 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lavenderandbrown · 04/06/2024 00:06

Ok so what’s a pox clinic??
OP I think being neighborly friendly is the way to go. Do you have reason to think something has or is happening between BF and her? He’s with you…you live with him… don’t fill your mind with these auspicious thoughts. Be vigilant…sure but I don’t think anything described seems like she is flirting

Rookangaroo4 · 04/06/2024 00:36

We’ve been married 30 years. I’ve seen quite a few women flirt with my husband and it honestly doesn’t bother me in the slightest. My thoughts are that I trust him and if he ever did act on it then he’d be very stupid as I’d never put up with that.

JoniBlue · 04/06/2024 00:43

I guess you will find out soon enough.

Mt61 · 04/06/2024 00:51

Hugosmaid · 30/05/2024 21:21

He was totally shagging her

No but she would like to be shagging him 🙄

Pasithean · 04/06/2024 00:56

Grow up fgs

CrayonCritic5 · 04/06/2024 00:56

OP didn’t ask if it was flirting, she said it WAS flirting. She was there! She also didn’t say that the action of asking him to use the drive was flirting.

OP it is likely that it is flirting as you were there and you experienced it that way. To answer your actual question, yes it might be unreasonable to get annoyed at this stage. See how it plays out. She may not be good with new people so is wary of you or just needs to get used to the dynamic. Also two neighbours living alone will be more likely to interact more so she’s probably used to knocking for little favours like that but things will change now that you’re there.

Relaxd · 04/06/2024 03:13

Iceache · 03/06/2024 14:33

My neighbours (married couple in their fifties) always tell us to use their drive when they’re away but now I know they’re trying to shag us I’ll have to warn my husband not to make eye contact next time

😆

lemonmeringueno3 · 04/06/2024 03:23

I'm a single woman and so sick of other women acting territorial around me, as if I am just desperate and about to pounce on their man.

It's a shame when you find yourself backing away from friendships, acquaintances, colleagues and neighbours just because an insecure girlfriend appears on the scene.

I assume your op gives us the very worst that this woman has done - a dirty look, a disappointed face when collecting a parcel and a request for him to park on her drive. I can't see anything here that is flirting or disrespectful to you.

The dirty look could be imagined, or she was thinking about something else, or she didn't know who you were, or that's her natural expression.

The parcel thing - she was expecting a familiar face to open the door and was momentarily taken aback.

The driveway parking - presumably something they've done before.

You haven't been introduced and are being frosty with her, so how is she supposed to act around you?

It's possible she's sad that the dynamic has changed, without this meaning that she fancies him.

Equivo · 04/06/2024 03:35

Summertimeinschool · 03/06/2024 17:14

I can believe this woman fancies your boyfriend if that's what your gut is telling you. Gut instinct and women's intuition is real when it comes to this sort of thing. However the important thing is if you trust your boyfriend, as long as you do there should be nothing to worry about.

Also it is etiquette for you to go and get your own parcel.

"Gut instinct and women's intuition is real when it comes to this sort of thing"

IME women often think their partner is a lot more desirable than other women do. I've had women think I'm after their partner when in reality most of the time I'm only even civil with them because I know them in a professional capacity and would never actually choose to spend time with them even just as a friend (and the rest of the time i am just friends with them)

CurlewKate · 04/06/2024 06:56

Where's the flirting?

Luio · 04/06/2024 08:50

Nothing that she has done sounds remotely like flirting. They sound like the interactions that I have with the elderly lady next door. She brought a parcel round (but didn’t get round to it for a while as probably thought you would collect it) and asked if he could use her drive. Is there any other evidence? I’m ignoring the dirty look because that is probably her squinting at you to see who you are.

I am assuming she is attractive or you wouldn’t be worried about this. If she is attractive and a flirt, then she would already have had ample opportunity to shag him if she wanted to.

therealcookiemonster · 04/06/2024 09:06

shame that OP will never come back to this thread

CrayonCritic5 · 04/06/2024 14:22

lemonmeringueno3 · 04/06/2024 03:23

I'm a single woman and so sick of other women acting territorial around me, as if I am just desperate and about to pounce on their man.

It's a shame when you find yourself backing away from friendships, acquaintances, colleagues and neighbours just because an insecure girlfriend appears on the scene.

I assume your op gives us the very worst that this woman has done - a dirty look, a disappointed face when collecting a parcel and a request for him to park on her drive. I can't see anything here that is flirting or disrespectful to you.

The dirty look could be imagined, or she was thinking about something else, or she didn't know who you were, or that's her natural expression.

The parcel thing - she was expecting a familiar face to open the door and was momentarily taken aback.

The driveway parking - presumably something they've done before.

You haven't been introduced and are being frosty with her, so how is she supposed to act around you?

It's possible she's sad that the dynamic has changed, without this meaning that she fancies him.

Agree with some things said here re the dynamic and expecting a familiar face. It’s disappointing to see more people saying there’s no flirting going on - you weren’t there so you can’t say that! As someone else said you have your intuition and you know. As for the single poster commenting you are sick of territorial behaviour I am single too and also get tired of this but if OP is getting flirty vibes we have no reason to question this. She hasn’t acted territorially (yet) - great to have a reminder not to step into that behaviour and just rise above it whilst neighbour gets used to the new situation.

Lollipop81 · 04/06/2024 18:43

WTAF 😳 is this a wind up

HappyMe6 · 04/06/2024 20:41

You should always collect your parcels not expect to have them del to you from neighbours they aren’t couriers, nothing suggests flirting to me! You do sound paranoid to be honest or very young

pineapplesundae · 04/06/2024 21:10

Maybe you're the mean one.

GalileoHumpkins · 04/06/2024 21:18

Slap her in the face with a glove and demand to see her at dawn.

Kjpt140v · 04/06/2024 22:13

She was there before you, nothing happened, remain cool.

therealcookiemonster · 04/06/2024 22:15

GalileoHumpkins · 04/06/2024 21:18

Slap her in the face with a glove and demand to see her at dawn.

Best response

Ladyzfactor · 04/06/2024 22:19

I was accused of flirting with some woman's boyfriend when I had zero interest in him. Seriously, the man looked like a potato. I was just being polite and making small talk. Probably thought I was glaring when I was just zoning out.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 05/06/2024 06:26

I don't think asking to use her drive is any excuse to talk to him. When you get on well with neighbours, those little requests are actually pretty common. Nothing you have said could get me too concerned to be honest. Have they lived beside eachother a long time? I'm a person who makes a big effort with my neighbours. Life is easier and better when you get on and have a good dynamic.

Whatinthedoopla · 05/06/2024 07:08

I have the exact same issue! She is only interested in my partner, not me or my child! And gives me the dirtiest looks! Any excuse just to talk to him! It was getting to the point that it was every day!

I would just make sure I was there every time they had any communication, I can tell it's annoying the fuck out of her haha.

I do want to move though, love the house, but I hate the bitch

LoyalMember · 05/06/2024 13:18

I think they've had some history. He's probably railed her a few times.

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