Kisses on the end of emails or teams messages to work colleagues

[Overthinking2024]

Is that normal? Do you put kisses on the ends of emails or team messages?

YABU - It's a friendly gesture
YANBU - it blurs the lines and isn't the done thing.

No, just no!

Sometimes on chat messages, if the content is personal - but I have worked in a very close knit team and most of us have been there for at least ten years, several over 20 years, and we’ve been to each other’s weddings and christenings and babysat and looked after each other after break ups and so on - so we are close enough that this is normal for us as a group of colleagues who are also friends. Never to anyone further up the management chain, though, and definitely not in emails, which form part of our record keeping.

It’s all a matter of context. I work in a school. If I’m emailing someone in my immediate subject Dept or a friend then I sign with my initial and a kiss. Everyone else gets a more formal sign off.

Ehhh not usually, although sometimes it happens by autopilot.

I'd presume that if I got a work message with one, that was by accident too, to be honest. Like when someone accidentally says "love you" before they hang up a call.

No, not on work messages

Never in an email.

A Teams message only if we're close and discussing something personal and a kiss makes sense in that context.

As a matter of course, no way and it irritates me when other people do it.

Dripfeed. Single female colleague and married male colleague, just over 18 months of working together - not close, they see each other once a week at most.

Would you think your male colleague was possibly acting inappropriately?

There have been loads on threads on MN started by OPs who are upset by kisses on messages/ emails sent by work colleagues to their husband/ partner/boyfriend. So yes I would say it definitely blurs boundaries. It upsets people.
Surely it's not a lot to ask work colleagues to keep communication on a professional level. Better for all concerned.

Nope. Teams seems to be an entirely different world though. I'm old school NHS admin, good old outlook, and colleagues I'm friends with might get a smiley face.

But my DH works in a very youthful company. He's the oldest in his office at 45 and they all use teams, heart emojis, say "sick" for good etc. it's a bit bizarre really!

Yes, for kisses. Possibly.

I agree with the poster who says that Teams confuses the issue with its ❤emoji, though. Apparently, the young people think a 👍🏽 is rude/sarcastic, so I will sometimes use a heart to mean "thanks" to both women and men. It's a fucking minefield, though.

I think it should be avoided in general, but I wouldn’t read too much into it if his behaviour is otherwise professional. Many people do it by habit.

That does sound a bit inappropriate to me. I'd be inclined to find out if he adds kisses to emails when he's emailing another man. My guess would be no.

That's not remotely normal...

I do sometimes if it's a personal message to another female colleague I know well.

Yes, I would think it was inappropriate.

I work in an office like your DH - oldest person is 47, about half of the team are between 20-25. Kisses on teams messages and heart reacts and very casual comms all round is absolutely standard. In our scenario, I wouldn't think much of OP's (presumed) partner putting kisses on teams/emails. But it's a very specific vibe: in previous jobs, it would have been very suspicious. Depends on the workplace and the prevailing culture there I think!

I think the acid test as PP said, is does he do that to male colleagues? The red flag is when men treat female colleagues differently from male ones as it means in their mind, the sex of their colleague makes a difference to their communication. Which is either a sign of sexism or flirtation.

I have one female colleague who is also a good friend and we generally sign an email name/kisses. No to anyone else though. I’m a lecturer and students are full of kisses and heart emojis on Teams, I think they see it as a WA chat.

Nope, why would I?? It’s a professional email, I’m not wishing my Gran happy birthday.

Agreed. It is t appropriate.

and as others have said, it is probably a boundary test.

is it your husband? Or are you the single colleague?

Yes, very much so.

I once had a message with an x from a male colleague I'd got quite chatty with, that caused me a raised eyebrow and a worry I'd given the wrong impression - then a couple of minutes later a panicked message saying he was so sorry and had been texting his wife at the same time!

I would only x on a message to a colleague if I was friends outside work too. And probably only a female colleague.

I might ♥ react to a message on webex if it's an about a cute animal / wildlife or someone doing something really kind.

What the hell?! Sorry @Everythingiscalmfornow message above was supposed to quote OP!

Never on emails but sometimes on teams chats to other women i know well, but more likely to use a smiley face or similar tbh

Thank you - I feel less delusional now.

OP, if your DH signs off all his work emails, to both male and female colleagues, with kisses then it's fine. If it's just this one woman then there's something going on- either he's cheating or at the very least has a crush on her.