To leave (very sensible) 11yo boy for 3.5 hours

[themidimit]

Need to go somewhere between 10.30am and 2pm (approx). Destination is 10 mins drive away. DS 11.5 years old. I know there is no legal age and it is more about a judgement of when child is capable. He is really sensible. I'd pre-make a sandwich and drink and leave in fridge so he doesn't need to use anything dangerous in the kitchen. He will likely just game with friends when I'm out. Thoughts on doing this? (He doesn't have a mobile phone)

I leave my 11 year old for that long. She can work the locks, the phone, the microwave and the TV, so she’s golden. She knows not to touch either the oven or the gas.

This is fine. We had a sensible 11 year old and he had to do this (or a bit longer) quite a few times.
We left lunch and he played on his computer or watched a film. It was fine. 11 is perfectly reasonable if the child is sensible.
There are loads of people on Mumsnet who seemingly never leave their kids- in our situation it was a case of "I need this job to keep him fed and housed so needs must".

I wouldn’t give it a second though. At that age my children would have been absolutely fine on their own for longer than that .

You practised fire drills? How did you do this?

I dialled 999 age 4 although didn’t know what to say when they answered - I’m sure an 11 year old could do better.

Sorry, it's still too young imho, though of course children mature differently so there's no one size fits all. But on average I think 11 is too young to deal with unexpected events/emergencies.

I know not addressed to me but I have gone through scenarios, like "if you came out of your bedroom and there was smoke/flames on the stairs what do you do?" "If you were cooking and the pan caught fire?" "If the TV or a charger caught fire?" etc. Basically to drill into them that they need to get out of the house avoiding the fire (so yes, you can climb out your brothers window onto the garage roof if there's a fire blocking the stairs even though you'd normally get bollocked for doing that), don't try to put it out, don't try to find anyone else, close the any door between you and the fire if you can safely do so.

I think he'll be fine, if you think he's sensible enough and can contact you if anything happens.
We left our eldest DD for an hour or two at a time at that age.

of course, I think it's normal unless the child has extra support needs. Many 11 year olds are at high school without wrap around. I think it's standard to spend a few hours alone regularly. I wouldn't worry esp of they are sensible.

I preferred that mine didn't use the kitchen alone at that age too just in case.
My 13 yo just makes what she needs now though.
It really depends on the child and how safe they are around using knives and would they know how to handle it if they hurt themselves.

I was babysitting at 12, so absolutely! Also plenty are latchkey kids at this age.
The only reason I wouldn't is if the child felt uncomfortable.

I could make a sandwich at 11 no problem but I might have done something dumb like use an unserrated bluntish knife for a particularly slippery tomato and put it through my hand . Ditto avocado stone.

DD is 12 and does now make pasta/ cook simple things if she's on her own but I still have a no frying rule- possibly that's a bit paranoid but I almost set a bacon pan on fire myself the other day as got distracted so just not worth the potential house fire.

Not a problem. DS is just turned 12 and has been at home for several hours at a time for well over a year. His friends with older siblings have done so since a much earlier age, even when siblings not at home.

I dunno, maybe they cut cheese with a knife instead of a cheese slicer* and she's worried about the knife slipping? Though I wouldn't worry about that with an 11 year old, they should know how to clean and bandage a cut and when its serious enough to call for help.

*though not even cheese slicers are safe - I took a chunk off my thumb with a cheese slicer once, still got the scar

presumably going to secondary in september, so i would leave him

I wouldn't think twice about it. But my kid is a very sensible and responsible young man so I've never had reason to think he wouldn't be safe, even in an emergency.

Ive always assumed mine knew to be fair. I’m going to check in with them. I pictured the person with a whistle and the child having to get out of the house!

This makes far more sense!

Totally fine. He might still be in Year 6, but there are Year 7s that are 11yo. Many travel on their own on public transport, and arrive home to an empty house. Just go through what to do in emergencies with him. Put your number near the landline. Tell him which neighbour to knock on, if that's an option. Maybe also a secondary exit from the house if you have a backdoor.

A sensible, mature NT child certainly. I left mine occasionally for a couple of hours daytime at that age. We talked about dos and don’ts and went through what to do in various emergency situations. Is it zero risk no but is it reasonable yes.

As a single parent with no help, I have no choice. My children are 11 & 13 - almost 12 & 14. The 11 year old is currently at a sleepover and the 13 year old is home alone, living his best life. They have mobiles. Are capable of cooking food, and neither are idiots. If they were the latter then I'd have to re-think them being alone in the house.

I check in throughout the day, but as it's only me that pays the mortgage, needs must.

If you think he's ok to leave he probably is. First time I was left home alone I was younger than that - still in junior school, but I was recovering form chickenpox and my DM had to go out food shopping. No mobile phones back then.

Rules were drilled into me - no answering the door, if the phone rang I could answer but mustn't say I was alone in the house, any problems go to next door. It was completely uneventfull.

Though tbf as a child if I was left reading a book I wouldn't notice if anybody was around or not - and probably wouldn't have heard a knock at the door.

As long as your DC is happy this should be fine - especially as you've already left them for 2 hours .

My DC was younger than this when starting secondary school and was often home alone for a few hours between arriving back from school and my return from work . I used to get a few meals which could be heated in the microwave - no sharp knives or boiling water!! And whilst not nutritionally brilliant, he loved getting his own tea.

I think it's coming time for you to reassess that mobile phone for your DC though - they normally start becoming a lot more independent the summer before secondary school and you'll need to be able to make contact with him directly .

Do you have children @Littlesnailin and if so are they still very young ?

DSD (12) has been home alone almost every day since starting high school from 3.30 - 5.30pm whether she's at ours or her mums. No choice in the matter really as we all work full time. There's never been any problems (touch wood!) and she's more than capable of making herself drinks and something simple to eat if she's hungry.

As others have said, once most kids start high school at 11, they're walking / getting the bus home alone anyway with their own house keys.

I have children, they are teens now.

My guess would be the poster has children younger than secondary age. I haven't heard anyone in Year 7 goes to a childminder or after school childcare club. Everyone at DC secondary walk, cycle or take the bus.