To think you regret getting divorced?

[JoJoBluee]

Any people out there who got divorced and now regret doing so?

If so, what was the reason for divorce and why do you now think maybe it wasn’t the right decision?

Divorced 25 years now. The only regret I have is the upheaval my (then) 7 year old had as we had to move house, change her school and lost touch with her paternal family (their choice not mine).

The only regret I have is that I ever met the fucker in the first place. Thank god we had no children. That's the only positive.

I kicked him out because it felt like I had three children and we only had two.

No regrets. I wish I had picked a better father for my children, but if I had done that then I wouldn't have the children that I do have.

To quote the bbc drama The Split, "I don't see divorce as a failure. I see some marriages as finite".

So obviously you both regretted it then?

Nope, it was one of the best days of my life. Bought myself Champagne and flowers to celebrate.

Not divorced as we weren't married but I certainly don't regret leaving the father of my child. Best decision I made.

I do know someone who regrets divorcing her xh. She felt that he was dull and that a more exciting life awaited but it didn't turn out that way. She was devastated when he remarried.

Same, no kids. I don't exactly regret it, because there were some good times; but he had an affair and whether it was the OW or what he was really like, he turned into someone I didn't want in my life (which didn't stop him trying to hoover me back in after being married to OW for a couple of years. Luckily I'd worked out his little game and wasn't playing).

He should have been a fling. Neither of us are/were marriage material.

This. 100% and forever more.

The only thing I regret is believing him when he said what his earnings were which was blatantly untrue.

I had a big party for my decree absolute. Loads of women came up to say they wished they'd done the same!

It's never too late to celebrate, I say 🎉🥂

@JoJoBluee, it's rarely prompted by a single event. There's a "straw that broke the camel's back" or a development forces you to face what you'd been trying to deny. Not many people choose to divorce in an instant, as they might decide to buy the lovely shoes in the shop window.

I was one of an increasing number of women sho get divorced in later life (25 years) whereas they would just have put up with it so as not to bring shame on their family (as my mother put it)

Yes. Regret it. Bitterly. When the issues are not black’n white, divorce is tinged with greater sadness.

I don't regret the decision to divorce my exH one bit, as painful as that decision was to arrive at.

Reason: He was emotionally abusive for 25 years, getting progressively worse but interspersed with being lovely as they often are. (I wish I could regret marrying him - he made my life hell for years, but I know if I'm honest that nothing would have stopped me at the time.)

As others have said, although NO regrets for the decision to divorce, I will always be sad that it had to happen. I wish he wasn't a narcissistic prick - he can still appear like the guy I married is in there somewhere. But he is.

Many years ago I had a non resident girlfriend.

When we became an item I was 25 and she was 10 years older.

While I could (should) have pulled the plug on it sooner it dragged on for about 8 years

While she did in the end ask me to marry her the relationship had run its course. At that age I would have expected us to marry/live together ecc within a few years but it could be like swimming in treacle.

I am not sure what might have happened of we had moved in together, however if we had the world would have been a different place.

I met her some years later & she said how much she loved me and that while she knew the relationship was breaking up and why, she was unable to do anything about it.

She certainly regretted the break up even if I didnt

I've been divorced once - no regrets! I divorced because he was an alcoholic and I couldn't help him. Only he could help himself, but he didn't/couldn't.

One divorce here.
My only regret is not biting my Dad's hand off when - as we were stood in the hallway waiting for the car to come back for us to go to church - he said 'it's not too late to change your mind, love'. We should never have got married in the first place and he could see it a mile off.

Not me but I do have a friend who regrets her divorce.

Married young to her childhood sweetheart, got FOMO after a decade together because all her late twenties friends were still dating and having the time of their lives. Divorced him and joined the dating scene and realised too late what an absolute car crash it is these days.

He's remarried with a baby on the way, she's single after a few short term things that didn't stick, and while she says she's happy with her life and has made peace with the end of her marriage, she still regrets ending it.

She's in the minority though, I'd wager most people don't regret divorce.

Technically not divorced because he died 12 days before the nisi was pronounced, but not a single regret. I married a lovely man - funny, kind, smart, a great father. Life happened and he became an abusive alcoholic who was dreadful to our DC (and also to me, but they were the priority). Divorcing him was the sensible thing to do and I should have done it sooner.

I regret making the wrong choice of man that’s for sure.

@Longlazyday do you mind sharing why you got divorced?

@JoJoBluee - solved nothing and created a whole new set of different problems.