AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

[ThisWillBeInteresting01]

This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

It’s not neglect of course it’s not. Some kids get dirtier than others I guess. My kids have always had daily baths as my daughter has eczema and bathing and wet wrapping while wet kept it controlled. As kids though we had a Sunday night bath and that was it . We definitely weren’t neglected.

Why don’t they have shampoo: why are people not using basically soap and water to clean themselves??

Sounds fucking disgusting. I'd have insisted he changed his clothes, and removed them from his room whilst he was sleeping if needed.

There's a school of thought that shampoo essentially makes the hair dirtier or something. Hair is (apparently) self cleaning and only needs rinsing with water. But the shampoo strips away natural oils or something meaning hair gets greasy quickly so needs shampooing ...

@WittiestUsernameEver

I’m not sure I buy the thing about shampoo (I’ve heard this before but mainly from people who are into woo and if it works at all it would require a long period of allowing the hair to be really greasy before the “self cleaning” kicks in).

But that’s one thing. Not washing hair is a very different matter from not washing your bum, genitals, feet or armpits for days on end.

Skipping shampoo is called co-washing. You do still use shampoo, but in between washes you only use conditioner.

Think conditioner is adequate at cleaning hair by itself tbf, and like pp says, some people find that the more your shampoo the more oil builds up.

We were all in a tent! He didn’t smell.

No doubt the words of an “influencer” peddling bullshit

We must have all been 'neglected' as children 😂.

Children aren't any dirtier these days than we were. In fact they're probably a whole lot cleaner since in general they spend less time out side.

Children don't need to be bathed every day. Babies can be bathed a couple of times a week with a top and tail in between. Bath once a week for kids with washing face and hands multiple times a day is fine.

Teenagers obviously need to shower more often, but I still wouldn't say every day.

Of course. Top and tail. Haven't heard that for a while.

Hilarious to think we're all dirtier now for some reason. Or everyone was running around stinking when showers on the daily weren't available.

What nonsense.

In answer to your unexpected question, yes, I do use water to clean my children. Soap too, as it happens. But not shampoo. Hair doesn't need it, particularly not children's hair.

I also grew up in the 70s, outside the UK in a hotter climate and don't recognise these tales of Sunday baths with a flannel wash in between.

I don't remember if I had a bath every single night, but bathing or showering was more normal than not bathing.

I also remember the prevailing narrative in the media etc. was that the English were notorious bath dodgers.

Unless someone has some sort of a medical condition, or they’ve just been to the gym or something, most people who have showered or bathed, and used deodrant or antiperspirant, shouldn’t be reeking by lunchtime. Similarly, these people that you know of who don’t bathe or shower for 2/3 days in the summer are just rank. Unless you are Prince Andrew, everybody sweats. Everybody gets dirty. Everybody needs to wash away daily pollutants. Just take a shower and stop making excuses.

Children aren’t intrinsically more or less dirty but standards were different because in general fewer people had easy and cheap access to showers and baths.

The point is, surely, that in the 70s bathing more than a couple of times per week was an expensive faff for many people hence the flannel washes and rationing of baths was logical. That’s not the case today for all but the most deprived of families.

We seem to be going around in circles with this but the behaviour that was normal and acceptable in the 70s is not necessarily a decent benchmark for what is normal or acceptable 50 years later!

I was bathed daily as a child.

Do you shower them before they get into the pool for their weekly class?
as that class is the first time they wouod have been cleaned in a week.

Little kids smell of wee and poo unless you clean them properly.

How can you do that on once a week?

l grew up in the 70’s and had a bath every night.

Yes showers in our house can take 30-60 mins because of the hair drying/brushing after. I can’t even imagine it taking 5 minutes! It’s a massive job and there is no way we are doing that every night.

You could use shower caps to keep hair dry? I do that for 5 or so of my showers each week.

If we're comparing a bath v a wash, I'm sure you could give a young child a pretty thorough sponge or flannel wash in the time it takes to run a bath, with less water.(from experience of giving kids a wash on camping trips)
I would always opt for a shower over a flannel wash especially for an adult, but just saying the bath isn't always the quicker option

Everyone had a full strip wash so it's not nonsense.
They washed from head to toe at the sink
Showers just make that easier

Regarding the no shampoo
A colleague did this and she absolutely stank.
Sebum collects on the hair and it has a really rancid smell
She would go on and on about it like she deserved a medal but her hair was like it had been dipped on chip fat
Told in no uncertain terms it was unacceptable and in breach of policy to turn up at work like that.

I tie my hair up, get in, soap under my armpits and lather up with shower gel everywhere else, rinse off, then get out. 5 mins, 10 at a push and including time getting dried/dressed.

Just lower the shower head and toe up hair to avoid getting it wet
Or use a shower cap...

Really not difficult.

I think people were more smelly actually, they washed less often for sure.

I know a goat amount of people used lockdown to try it out! Because it does go greasy and get worse before it gets better!