AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

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This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

Are they having showers in between? If it's just one bath a week and nothing else, apart from washing their hands and face occasionally, then that's minging, and borderline neglect. (In my opinion.)

And I don't care what happened back in days of old. I think it's minging. It's cruel too, as other children will tease them for being the 'stinky one.'

Can't believe 6 out of 10 posters think YANBU! God help us all!

hmm for me personally it’s not a case of ‘oh well they don’t produce body odour so they only need one wash a week.’

Just the idea of being in the outside world, outside play, pollution, interacting with things, and sorry to be grim but a weeks worth of going to the loo. I also just know how much better I feel after I’ve had a shower.

I only have a baby so I might feel different when they grow up!

in the 70s I used to visit London from a small market town in the midlands - i'd wash my hair once a week over the bath and the water would run pretty much just a dull dish water colour, each time after the London trip the water would be black - it was truly disgusting

Reminds me of when I visited London last year. I was using a moisturiser cream to combat eczema and when I rubbed it in, the dirt rolled off my skin like eraser shavings. I was showering every evening!

Times have changed since then, our homes and bathrooms are more modern with hot water on tap (pun intended).

When I was small, I was bathed once or twice a week (sometimes sharing with my sibling when we were very little). And this was in the 90s / 2000s. Hot water may be on tap these days, but it doesn't mean every family can afford the energy bill - especially if there's only a bathtub, no shower installed.

If I go back to visit my childhood home, I have to be mindful of this and not take a bath every day.

Pretty sure when I was a kid my mum only bathed me once a week.

When my children were in nappies they bathed each day, that seemed necessary to me.

Now they are older I want them to shower every day. Some do, some don't (my 10 yo is very difficult to get showered, so only 2/3 per week).

I shower every day, sometimes twice if I want to "wash off" my work day and reset. I have to wash my hair every day because I wake up looking awful, like I've stuck fingers in a plug socket!

Each to their own!

Sunday night was bath night in the '70s, my brother and i survived both physically and mentally.. it was not and is not, neglect!!

Plus environmentally its a good idea..

Agree with poster who says that anyone who thinks this is neglect, hasn’t seen neglect. Mine are bathed once to twice a week (they hate it) and couldn’t have more love and privilege than they do.

Lots of posters here 'were children in the 1970s'.

I was working then and had left home.

Most people I knew then had a daily bath but the difference was that showers weren't in (almost) all houses like today.

Now that almost all houses have a shower, it's really simple to give yourself and your kids a shower that takes 3 minutes. Far easier than a strip-wash, which is the other option.

What does one bath a week mean? Is there any other type of washing going on in between?

It may not be neglect, but anything less than a daily shower (2 preferably) is a no in my house and extended family.

Different strokes for different folks and all that.

The post you’re referring to was more than baths though, as bed are changed and the bathroom washed once a month or two monthly. That’s a whole other realm of cleanliness, so it’s more likely than not the children smell.

As a side observation on the once a week bath in the 70s I remember a few years ago watching a documentary made in 1976 and thinking that the people in it would not be considered really clean by modern standards. They were professional people too so presumably met a certain standard of appearance at the time. This was not a matter of fashion which has obviously moved on but actual cleanliness, they looked like they needed a good shower.

I only bathed once or twice a week as a kid and so do mine. If mine look dirty then she will get a bath/ shower regardless. But bathing them when they’re clean every day I think is neurotic

My kids were bathed every day, hair washed a few times a week.As they got older, and we lived in a house with a shower they chose bath or shower and both chose one or the other daily. As a child I was bathed once a week, hair washed once a week. Clothes had to last a school week. My parents both smoked indoors and I’m sure I and my clothes stank. I wasn’t having that for my children.

No it's not neurotic.

How old are your children?

They all need their bottoms washing as kids don't always wipe very well and little girls do need their bits cleaning.

I'm just a bit shocked at how so many people seem unaware of basic hygiene.
If you're not showering or bathing, are you sending your kids to bed with grubby bottoms and the rest?

3yo and 1yo here. They're both on the go non stop whether it's nursery for the eldest or in the garden now the weather is warmer. We are in the bath daily camp and both kids have had a daily bath since they were 6-8 weeks old. The only time we don't is if they have a temperature.

It’s only seen as neglect on MN, because so many MNers are obsessive about what they see as ‘hygiene’ - I use quote marks advisedly - washing everything , inc. towels, after just one wear or use.

As for changing bed linen, which was something else the pp worried about being ‘dirty’ mentioned, most people’s sheets - unless they’re particularly sweaty or smelly types - do not need to be changed weekly. Yes, it’s nice if you can and if you want to, but it’s not normally necessary.

DS is ASD. It’s a struggle to get him in the bath or shower once a week (although we manage one or the other at least once a week). He’s 6. He never smells, never looks dirty. His clothes are clean every day and he always looks presentable. Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.

Edited for typos.

its not neglects. that's just normal

Washing daily and changing sheets every week is far from obsessive 😂😂

Obsessive and neurotic, actually. Smdh
🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you read anything about when to change sheets, weekly is suggested.
This is because the bed will be full of dead skin cells, bacteria and bugs (which you can't see with the naked eye) - dust mites.

It needs washing at 60C to kill all of these.

Goodness, these threads are an eye opener.

I didn't realise people were so scruffy.

I have an 2 and 5 year old. They have a bath roughly every 3rd day, sometimes more, sometimes less. More in the winter as it’s something to do for me to kill time before bed, in the warmer months they play in the garden before bed and have such a lovely time, that I think they can have one tomorrow. If they were dirty after play then I’d give them a quick bath

I grew up in a developing country in the 70s with no shower or bath-just buckets of water heated on a stove- and my.mum still bathed me daily.

Once a week bath is minging for me and everyone in my family. I find it really odd that being clean daily is obsessive.

We always had a bath on a Friday evening as children with hair wash.
Washed face and hands as needed daily.

I was a nanny years ago and parents insisted kids had baths every single night then the children had to be slathered in special moisturiser because their skin was so dry and irritated,.no skin conditions or allergies diagnosed but I feel like daily baths and creams might have had something to do with it.

There are women walking miles for water in sub-saharan Africa and no showers who bathe more often than some Mners with en suites! Ugh.

And no, I don't wash my towels after every wash.

You can give those areas a quick wash with a flannel though, kids don't have to have a full shower or bath everyday.

Flannels! Ugh. Wouldn't it be faster to put them in the shower?