Not to have given up my seat on plane

[Rainbowgoldover]

Just wondering ....

I flew home last night from holiday with a friend.

BA flights , flight out was dreadful, cramped seats , allocated at check in so we had last row next to the toilets ...

On the way back we learnt our lesson so paid to book seats, I booked an aisle seat, friend booked a window seat, flight about 70 per cent full.

The person in the middle seat , asked me if I would move so she could have the aisle seat.

I refused and said no I booked aisle and don't want to sit in middle seat. She said but I want to be near my family in the row opposite. I still politely refued to move.

Cue lots of aggro, she finally got the flight attendants to move her accusing me and my friend of talking over her , we absolutely were not, both had headphones on watching netflix.

If you really want to sit somewhere why can't you pay 23.99 and pre reserve a seat, don't make others feel bad for not giving up theirs ?

When people book train tickets in advance and get a cheaper fare the seat number usually comes with the ticket and on the ticket is written ‘only valid for that seat’.

I do think it's quite rude to book 2 seats leaving the one in the middle. Everyone knows you were hoping to have the row to yourselves and don't want the middle seat person there, and even if you're not "chatting" as such, you won't have been silent the whole flight. It is awkward to be that person in the middle.

No you don't have to swap, but I don't think you behaved particularly considerately either.

Yeah, if I can find the time to file for compensation. But that doesn’t help the immediate issue when you are in the middle of travel.

Flight Attendants recurring seat swapping drama nightmare! You’re perfectly correct tho, the other lady should have paid to sit next to her family if she really needed to sit next to them.

Hmmmm re cancelled flights. Why is it the other passengers' problem?

I am not saying it is the other passengers’ problem. I am saying that the assumptions about passengers getting on with no prebooked seat are often wrong and the sense of entitlement to be rude and cold is uncalled for in many cases. A bit of understanding and empathy can go a long way.

I've <touch wood> luckily never had a flight cancelled

That explains a lot. You need to experience it to understand how stressful it can be.

they were flying together and deliberately booked their seats in such a way as to obstruct others from booking either a single seat on that row

How were they doing that? In a row of three, there is a middle seat. Booking aisle & window doesn't stop someone booking the middle seat. No-one was being obstructed.

The problem with the 'oh I've taken your train seat but no problem because there are plenty of other vacant seats' means that when you lettuce like take a random seat and the the rightful owner of the seat boards the train later on, you're screwed

I can see that argument if there were just a couple of empty seats (or the train was just half-an-hour out of London) but four hours into the journey there were plenty of unreserved seats and also seats where the reserved part of the journey had already been completed.

Without giving away my exact journey, the geography of it was such that there were likely to be far more people disembarking than joining the train from that point onwards.

A bit of understanding and empathy can go a long way.

By "understanding and empathy", do you mean "giving up the seat you paid for"?

Because if not, I don't see how what you think of the person wanting to swap makes any difference. You can be very understanding and empathetic, but you still don't have to give up your seat for them.

umm because they booked the seats they wanted????

that's ridiculous unless it was the last stop.

I can see that argument if there were just a couple of empty seats (or the train was just half-an-hour out of London) but four hours into the journey there were plenty of unreserved seats and also seats where the reserved part of the journey had already been completed.

But @AnonyLonnymouse why don't you consider the young couple with the baby the ones in the wrong? As you say, there were many empty unreserved seats, but they decided to sit in some of the few reserved seats without a reservation themselves. That was the bad behaviour, frankly, not the young woman who wanted to sit in her reserved place.

It's pretty easy to see which seats are reserved - there's a red light above them, or a paper ticket, or a digital display above the seat. I can never understand why people do this when a seat is obviously reserved - is it stupidity or rudeness?

I think a lot of people just don't look/ notice or possibly even care.
I once treated myself to a (discounted) first class train ticket. I booked my seat. When I got on the train there was only 2 people on the whole carriage. And they were in my seat. As far as I could see there was NO OTHER reserved seats in the entire carriage. 🙄
I just sat elsewhere as it didn't matter. But it was just weird that they managed to pick the only reserved seat/ table to sit at.

Yes it is weird behaviour, isn't it @Possinass I don't travel 1st class much (my work won't let me expense it), but maybe people just don't care. It's rude behaviour, though, whatever the reason.

I did post another message just below that one. Did you not read down that far?

I didn't know it was common practice to book seats like that in the hope nobody would book the middle one, but planes are usually very full, so it's a bit of a silly thing to do.

@YourPithyLilacSheep
They boarded in London so of course the train was quite a bit busier at that point. I was getting settled myself so wasn’t observing them minutely, but they just looked relieved to have found two seats close to the door, while juggling a young baby. To be honest, I am not sure that they were even aware of the whole system of seat reservations as they didn’t seem to pay much attention to the little screens above the seats. English also seemed to be a second language for them, as I think they were talking in another language to each other, although I couldn’t swear to that absolutely.

So yes, they were technically in the wrong but I think it was more of an honest mistake than ‘bad behaviour’. They were pretty stunned and dismayed when the young woman asked them to move, nearly four hours into their journey.

I still think it would have been utterly unreasonable for her to have forced them to move with their baby, bags, toys, food and other paraphernalia when she could have just as easily sat down in the empty pair of seats immediately in front of them, or the pair of seats in front of that, or the empty seat diagonally opposite…you get the picture - by that point in the journey there were a lot available!

No one has to be a pushover but sometimes it can be the right thing to give way a little.

Well, I suppose you could have always said, 'Sure - just give me £23.99 and it's all yours'! I bet she would have shut up immediately.

Hmmmm re cancelled flights. Why is it the other passengers' problem? Take it up with the airline.

If someone with small kids on a cancelled flights is transferred to a different flight, then you can’t blame them or the staff for bumping someone out of their seat to seat the kids with their adults.

The airlines has a duty to those people and they have the right to boot you out.

The annoying ones are the people who don’t book seats and expect everyone else to accommodate them.

I mean recognising that the other person likely also paid for a seat and deserves the courtesy of the person they ask not treating them like a cheapskate cheeky fucker or blank staring them/ignoring them. That’s it. I don’t think anyone has to give up a seat, but I do think they deserve to be treated with humanity and empathy.

It obstructs couples who want to sit together doesn’t it, if there are no pairs of seats free because people who want a window and aisle have booked the same row. If you don’t actually want to sit together there is no need to book seats in the same row.

Maybe you both have different seating preferences (many people prefer a window or aisle seat, I've yet to meet anyone in real life who enjoys the middle) but still want to be within each other's eye line if the plane goes down.

You could still be in each other's eye line if the aisle person sat in the aisle seat on the row across the aisle. It's only about 4ft difference in distance.
But by sitting on the same row you're stopping others from potentially being in eye line of their friends during the possible crash.

omg, people who think like this are just WEIRD! who the hell thinks of a plane going down when booking their seat? I'm just wanting to get out before the faffers with their faffing offspring.

Apologies if this has been said already, but DH has pointed out that the person asking to swap has no way of knowing whether the person they are asking has actually paid for the seats they are sitting in. Therefore, there is no reason why they shouldn’t ask to swap (even if the answer is no).

And the chances are that they paid for a cheaper seat; and are trying to get a free upgrade. I remember a story where a man asked someone in business class if they'd swap with his wife, who turned out to be sitting in a middle seat in economy!