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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to have given up my seat on plane

537 replies

Rainbowgoldover · 26/05/2024 07:14

Just wondering ....

I flew home last night from holiday with a friend.

BA flights , flight out was dreadful, cramped seats , allocated at check in so we had last row next to the toilets ...

On the way back we learnt our lesson so paid to book seats, I booked an aisle seat, friend booked a window seat, flight about 70 per cent full.

The person in the middle seat , asked me if I would move so she could have the aisle seat.

I refused and said no I booked aisle and don't want to sit in middle seat. She said but I want to be near my family in the row opposite. I still politely refued to move.

Cue lots of aggro, she finally got the flight attendants to move her accusing me and my friend of talking over her , we absolutely were not, both had headphones on watching netflix.

If you really want to sit somewhere why can't you pay 23.99 and pre reserve a seat, don't make others feel bad for not giving up theirs ?

OP posts:
yumyumyumy · 27/05/2024 22:58

Tight arse should have paid extra to secure the aisle seat.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/05/2024 23:02

ACynicalDad · 27/05/2024 19:42

It’s great tactics to do aisle and window - a good chance you get all 3. Not unreasonable for her to ask, very unreasonable not to accept no for an answer.

It’s not “great tactics” it’s incredibly inconsiderate.

(I mean it wouldn’t affect me as I wouldn’t get on a plane without a booked aisle seat, but it’s still inconsiderate to do it on purpose)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/05/2024 23:04

AnonyLonnymouse · 27/05/2024 18:06

You weren’t unreasonable to refuse to swap, although it would have been a nice thing to do, but you were unreasonable to book in such a way that there was an empty seat between you.

If lots of passengers booked seats in this way then it would make it almost impossible for other groups and families to sit together on a flight.

I think the ticketing systems need to make it impossible to leave empty seats between others on a single booking. Some theatres and similar venues already have this built into their systems.

I agree

(Although they should be able to book on different rows if they just have different seat preferences)

drusth · 27/05/2024 23:05

Caketea · 26/05/2024 22:36

I’m just a nice person and would have moved. ‘Do to others as you’d have them do to you’ type thinking.

If you want people to leave their seat then you’re not a nice person at all.

drusth · 27/05/2024 23:06

CecilyP · 26/05/2024 18:45

Yes, I think I probably am! I think OP and her friend were being selfish, and instead of just owning it, she comes on here to complain about the other woman to try and garner our sympathy.

While, I doubt every pair will try and do this, it could become more common and be a problem for the airlines. Although, as a PP posted, the TUI website would not allow her to take this option.

Show quote history

So what if OP and her friend had booked the aisle and middle? Would OP still be selfish for not giving up her aisle seat for random girl?

CecilyP · 27/05/2024 23:15

drusth · 27/05/2024 23:06

So what if OP and her friend had booked the aisle and middle? Would OP still be selfish for not giving up her aisle seat for random girl?

Edited
Show quote history

No, because they would have been sitting together leaving the very desirable window seat free! Not to the other woman, maybe, but for most single travellers, just fine!

measureofmydreams · 27/05/2024 23:31

My husband had a prostatectomy in recent years and so feels more confident being near the loo. We book aisle (him) and middle seat (me). I'm sure the booking system for the flights we go on (with Tui) won't allow two people in the same booking to leave a spare seat between them. (although you may not have been on the same booking i guess)

You paid for the seat, it's yours.

drusth · 28/05/2024 00:02

CecilyP · 27/05/2024 23:15

No, because they would have been sitting together leaving the very desirable window seat free! Not to the other woman, maybe, but for most single travellers, just fine!

Show quote history

So why does a random stranger deserve the window seat more?

T1Dmama · 28/05/2024 00:07

You weren’t unreasonable to not give up a seat you’d paid for… however I think it was weird to book seats with a spare between you and your friend, normally people would book seats together and I’m surprised they allowed a party to book seats that way.

Loyallyreserved · 28/05/2024 00:11

I was once asked by two very large American ladies if I could swap seats with one of them as they were struggling to get comfortable as they were over spilling their seats.
I just smiled and said no.
they called cabin crew who asked me and I said no, means no.
I enjoyed the rest of my flight.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/05/2024 00:22

Littlechinagirl · 27/05/2024 17:34

I'm interested to know if you'd said "yeah sure that's £xx" whether they'd have been quite so arsey. If you paid they aren't any more entitled to it than you are!

My concern with offering g to sell the seat I'd paid for would be the Middle Seat Defaulter actually saying, oh thanks so much, here's the cash!!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/05/2024 00:25

Bernardo1 · 27/05/2024 18:27

I basically think yanbu, but were you travelling with the window seat psgr?

In which case you were clearly disapointed your 'Cunning plan' didn't work, with someone allocated 'Your' middle seat.

Why would she be disappointed? She got her aisle seat and her friend the window seat - job done!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/05/2024 00:29

UnfriendMe · 27/05/2024 17:43

Not unreasonable at all, if she wanted to pick her seat she should have paid, end of. I've had this happen to me a few times for a few diff reasons. Me and my husband both hate middle and window seats so we always choose aisle seats across from each other. Countless times someone has asked one of us to swap to be closer to their family, BC they wanted an aisle, and one time on a flight from Dubai an older Muslim woman asked me to swap BC she "can't" sit by a man. So ridiculous. Each time I told them too bad, not my problem. Good for you for standing your ground.

Totally standard on some airlines for there to be a rejigging of seats on boarding so women don't have to sit next to men they're unrelated to (appreciate thought that's not your culture or your frame of reference). Passengers fine with that as that was the societal expectation

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/05/2024 00:31

Mayana1 · 27/05/2024 18:43

I get your point. But her friend wanted a window one, she wanted an aisle. I remembered once I was flying with my husband and our lap infant and I booked us same. (I did hope nobody will book that middle seat so we would be able to put our 1 year old down, but plane was packed and seat was taken). The guy did ask us if we wanted to sit together, but my husband wanted a window(and he's tall, sitting in the middle doesn't suit him) and I fly aisle for ages and always pay for it as don't want to be squashed in the middle. It was 2hrs flight though and the guy in the middle was very patient when we joggle our baby from one to another. But unfortunately, I am not comfortable in the middle or even window seat. I will never swap, unless like for like- different row, same seat.

Show quote history

Why did you have to keep passing your baby over on a 2 hour flight over the man in the middle?

CecilyP · 28/05/2024 00:32

drusth · 28/05/2024 00:02

So why does a random stranger deserve the window seat more?

Show quote history

No idea! I was just responding to your scenario where OP and her friend could have left the window seat!

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 28/05/2024 00:35

I would have offered to move.

Ozanj · 28/05/2024 00:35

I think when you travel with family you should pay to sit together. Or be prepared to pay onboard if you want to swap.

drusth · 28/05/2024 00:36

CecilyP · 28/05/2024 00:32

No idea! I was just responding to your scenario where OP and her friend could have left the window seat!

Edited
Show quote history

How can you not have an idea? You said they were selfish for taking the window and aisle?

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/05/2024 00:37

friendlycat · 27/05/2024 22:05

Sorry but that’s just completely inconsiderate. Why on earth should another passenger have your baby being passed across them the whole time.

Once you knew your middle seat ploy hadn’t worked really you should then have moved to sit next to each other.

You would have been hearing a lot of sighs from me. My kindle would have been obstructing your pass the baby game. I don’t want my table and contents constantly bashed by your baby’s feet etc. My drinks may have been spilt. utter entitlement.

Show quote history

Or not play pass the parcel on a very short flight

CecilyP · 28/05/2024 00:39

They were! Whereas it would be perfectly normal to take an aisle and a middle or a window and a middle - probably what 99% of what fellow travellers do!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 28/05/2024 00:40

measureofmydreams · 27/05/2024 23:31

My husband had a prostatectomy in recent years and so feels more confident being near the loo. We book aisle (him) and middle seat (me). I'm sure the booking system for the flights we go on (with Tui) won't allow two people in the same booking to leave a spare seat between them. (although you may not have been on the same booking i guess)

You paid for the seat, it's yours.

TUI airlines is an outlier on this front - reflecting their overwhelming family / couples customer profile

naffusername · 28/05/2024 02:16

Well, we both like aisle seats and we book early, either across the aisle from each other or in different rows.

Then Air Canada comes along and screws it up. No refunds.

novocaine4thesoul · 28/05/2024 03:59

CoffeeBeansGalore · 26/05/2024 12:52

I haven't flown for a while so can anybody answer this question:-
Can you book & pay seat allocation for 3 seats together if only 2 people are travelling?
And will the cabin crew then honour that allocation?
Reason being being medical condition/disability and needing extra room.

Hopefully @CoffeeBeansGalore others may have answered. Massively depends on the airline, you are best calling them. If it is long haul, you are probably best going up a class so sitting together and just the two of you is guaranteed or paying for a two together seat (KLM defo do this) and if you go to Seatguru there are a few planes that have 2 seats together on shorthaul (although rare - and there is no window on these seats either) If it is a budget short haul, you have more issues. You can chance your arm and book 3 seats on the flight together, with a third "fictitious" person in Seat 3 who simply does not turn up, plenty of passengers do not turn up for their flights and this is not a problem in itself, and you might be lucky, but there is no guarantee. If it is a longhaul, they can cancel your returning journey. My experience of cabin crew is they try and do the best by everyone once they are on the plane, but this can mean you have to compromise, and they do not care what you have booked or paid for. I had an empty seat next to me on a long haul (2 seat), but a larger lady that had disabilities could not / did not want to sit in the seat she was given so they moved her into the seat next to me so she could stretch her leg out and have more room. Don't get me wrong, she was lovely and a bit apologetic, but I definitely had a very cramped flight against the window to put up with as a result. Also, if you need extra leg room the emergency exit aisles are always a good option, but not if you are disabled, they will not let you sit there. HTH x

Bigearringsbigsmile · 28/05/2024 08:17

Really our ire should be directed at the airlines who have introduced this system as a money spinner. There is no other reason for it. Just like charging for bags.

Back in the day, you checked in at the airport and you were seated next to your travelling companion.

But somehow progress means we now have to pay for the privilege. It's just bullshit

twoblackdogs · 28/05/2024 08:20

Not this again.
You pay for your seat, you sit in your seat. This is your seat now.
Would you switch seats with somebody at at theatre, if that somebody asks for a better seat (yours, fully paid by you)?

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