Not to have given up my seat on plane

[Rainbowgoldover]

Just wondering ....

I flew home last night from holiday with a friend.

BA flights , flight out was dreadful, cramped seats , allocated at check in so we had last row next to the toilets ...

On the way back we learnt our lesson so paid to book seats, I booked an aisle seat, friend booked a window seat, flight about 70 per cent full.

The person in the middle seat , asked me if I would move so she could have the aisle seat.

I refused and said no I booked aisle and don't want to sit in middle seat. She said but I want to be near my family in the row opposite. I still politely refued to move.

Cue lots of aggro, she finally got the flight attendants to move her accusing me and my friend of talking over her , we absolutely were not, both had headphones on watching netflix.

If you really want to sit somewhere why can't you pay 23.99 and pre reserve a seat, don't make others feel bad for not giving up theirs ?

Yeah, it was an Emirati woman traveling with her family. She wanted me to sit in the middle so she didn't have to sit by a man. I asked her son who was traveling with her to switch then and he said no "I must sit next to my wife". Entitled twats, truly.

Phew!! According to the AIBU poll only 4% of mumsnetters are entitled.

Of course you weren’t being unreasonable!!!

#1 she/they could/should have paid the extra to prebook seats to sit together. I’m assuming the family she wanted to sit with were adults or older children (havent read all comments) because BA has a clear policy:

We want to make travelling as a family as enjoyable and stress-free as possible. To ensure your family has the best seats when you fly, we recommend choosing yours in advance when you book. There may be an additional fee for this.
If you don’t choose your seats in advance, we always do our best to seat your family together based on flight seat availability. This may mean that you’ll be seated in adjacent rows or across the aisle. All children under 12 will be seated with an accompanying adult. It's recommended that children under 12 in Club Suite are supervised and not left unattended during the flight. Anyone over 12 may be seated separately.”

#2 she could/should have asked crew at gate desk.

#3 she could/should have asked flight attendants when she bored as a last resort. They know all the tricks to resolve these matters including knowing on the flight roster who is an employee, plain clothes marshall, someone on standby…. Or even who they would be willing to upgrade to move passengers around.

To the 4% who think OP was unreasonable — you don’t get to dictate where people sit for your convenience. Any non selfish, non entitled person who wanted to switch seats that badly would have offered to pay OP the cost she paid OR tried to make an arrangement somehow as a last resort.

You don’t get to make up rules or make others uncomfortable to suit your preferences.

You didn’t want to be squashed in the middle but you thought it was ok for that bloke to have to put up with you & your husband passing your baby back and forth????

It would have served you right if he’d objected every single time any of you got in his way.

Honestly!!! I'd be embarrassed to ask someone such a thing! Wth should you swap, she should have booked an aisle seat simple as!

I wouldn’t give up an aisle seat if paid for. I’ve got problems with my back and sciatica and need the aisle to stretch into and get up and move.

I also agree that it’s a bit odd reserving seats with one between to travel with your friend. I’m guessing you were hoping no one would choose to sit between you on a less full flight??

I remembered once I was flying with my husband and our lap infant and I booked us same. (I did hope nobody will book that middle seat so we would be able to put our 1 year old down, but plane was packed and seat was taken). The guy did ask us if we wanted to sit together, but my husband wanted a window(and he's tall, sitting in the middle doesn't suit him) and I fly aisle for ages and always pay for it as don't want to be squashed in the middle. It was 2hrs flight though and the guy in the middle was very patient when we joggle our baby from one to another.

Now that is unreasonable. That man in the middle was more tolerant than I would have been. Passing your baby across when neither of you had the grace to swap with the hapless passenger in between you.

I am honestly shocked that even one person thinks you're being unreasonable, you specifically paid for a specific seat so why the heck should you give it up for someone who was too cheap to do the same thing. Well done you, for standing your ground!! 👏👏👏👏

Yes, we’ve done this a couple of times but if the flight isn’t too busy, then there is a chance we get the empty middle seat which is a bonus. Maybe sounds a bit selfish but I think it’s exceedingly selfish not to book a seat and expect someone else to move.

We (DH and I) always book the window and aisle seats, he prefers the window while i am claustrophobic and cannot sit in the middle seat where I can't get out.
We have never had an empty middle seat between us and do not expect this at all.
And people seated between us have been visibly surprised when we exit the plane together as they had no idea we're a couple.
DH spends his time looking out of the window or at the flight tracker while I am concentrating on keeping the plane up in the air.

YWNBU but, it shouldn’t be ‘allowed’ for passengers with same booking reference to book seats leaving one in the middle.

We booked a long haul flight once and booked the front row of the back section because we had a skycot for our baby. Middle row of 4 with a similar couple booked on the other side. We both had to wait to drop our buggies and by the time we got there there was a family of 4, 2 adults and kids about 8 or 9, sitting in our seats. They had already unwrapped all the blankets, taken their shoes off, unwrapped the headphones, put the pillows on the floor with their feet up on them. We were gob smacked. When we told them to move they started begging us to let them stay, needed to be together as a family, we have children look, my wife is a nervous flyer etc. Lterally begging with hands together. We couldn't shift them. Other bloke with the baby and DH were starting to shout as they just wouldn't budge. Cabin crew came and forced them out. Even then, the wife a few rows back with one kid kept standing up and leaning towards us begging for our seats. They were astounded we just hadn't let them have the seats as they were a family of 4.

I sit in the seat I paid for unless cabin crew tell me otherwise and then they better have an upgrade seat waiting for me.

I’ve not been on holiday since before having kids and we never felt the need to book seats, it was never an issue. We’ve finally booked our first family holiday and OH refuses to pay for seats. I’ve seen so many stories like this and as the lead Passenger, I’ve bloody booked them, I need peace of mind that my 7 and 2 year old will be sat with us.

It’s great tactics to do aisle and window - a good chance you get all 3. Not unreasonable for her to ask, very unreasonable not to accept no for an answer.

My partner and i recently flew with BA and were seated separately on a full flight. I’m not the best flyer, but accepted my lot- neither of us wished to pay to book seats, so we accepted the circumstances fir what they were. I wouldn’t dream of trying to pursued others to move, because of decisions we made!

Just this, why are there so many posts like this one by OP ? It's nothing new. Everyone gets it by now ....

There is a high possibility they could have tried to book seats, maybe got the family booked where they were & then seeing the single seat, maybe took that one & were advised to ask once on board to ask the person on the aisle seat if they would swap.
Ive had this happen, I don't know in the case of this persons family, but when travelling with a whole family, especially if multi generational or you have a mix of ages, of young teens & toddlers it can be difficult to find seats together, because there was a high number of seats booked in the way you booked yours, window seat & aisle seat then empty seats in the middle.
So you could say yes you paid for your allocated seats & it's not unreasonable to not give up your seat, at the same time there's a flip side. When people book like this, it is in the hope that they get a full row to themselves as there are few lone travellers, so it's a little selfish.
All three of my children are ASD, & Ive been left in a situation that I had to leave my 13yr old son sat alone on a flight, two rows back from us, because of thoughtless booking of seats. I ended up having to keep leaving my 2yr old (who was terrified of being on a plane) with my 14yr old daughter to go stand with my son, the whole flight was me going between children to keep them safe & calm, it was stressful for everyone.
Though the blame lies with the companies themselves as they should not allow booking seats in such a way, because they know to well how it can be much more than a minor inconvenience for families that need to be seated together.

I guess there are a lot of posts about plane seating because it is something we are all interested in. Flying is one of the few times that we end up being sat next to a total stranger for hours without being allowed to move. We all worry about where we will get seated and who we will be next to. We all worry about being stuck next to some rude, obnoxious, smelly or oversized person.

YANBU, though myself and my DH have at times moved to accommodate others when it has seemed commonsense to do so but on the whole this manipulative and entitled behavior is on the increase passive aggressively guilt tripping others into accommodating their demands, think the airlines need to take some of the blame due to their approach of rinsing every penny out of us punters for our seats. It is annoying when everyone is settled getting ready for take off when suddenly a group get on, try to rearrange seating because they havent pre booked seats, it becomes like an irritating version of musical chairs. Last year had aisle seats but not adjoining aisles, i was a row in front, suddenly lots pf commotion late boarding (no pre booked seats) enter a group of three women with seven children between them from primary thru to teenagers girls. They immediately started throwing their weight around asking people to move but not because they wanted to sit with their children no the women wanted the teenagers to sit together, themselves to sit together and the young DC to sit together further down the front of the plane. My DH moved because he said to me after he felt if he insisted on remaining in his seat with young teenage girls it would have made him feel very awkward for not moving. Throughout the flight the teenagers were perfect flyers had headphones on watching ipads, did not even interact with each other, unfortunately not so of their DM’s who proceeded to get stuck into the drinks trolley making multiple purchases, very loud exhibitionist behaviour for most of flight. Fast forward near end of flight one of the young DC running up the aisle crying cannot find mummy, concerned flyers coming up the aisle trying to help the distressed child whose DM had been having a deep alcohol infused snooze, when she woke up she thought it was hilarious laughing shouting out ‘What am i like’. Had to bite my tongue not to say you are a disgrace!

When I travel with my best friend, she likes the window and I like the aisle, so that’s what we book. If someone is sitting in the middle seat, probably 90% of the time they’re unaware that we’re traveling together because we don’t talk /pass food / etc. In the 10% of situations when they are aware that we are together (usually bc they are already seated and, due to friend’s bum shoulder, I am the one who puts the luggage in the bin), the middle seat person tries insisting that I take their seat. Sometimes they claim they don’t want to be bothered by us, and then they’re surprised that we each have our own separate plane behaviors and don’t interact. There have been times where I’ve booked her in the window and I’m in the aisle seat in the row ahead of or behind her.

it would be incredibly annoying to have someone talking over you or covering you in crumbs. I’d be sorely tempted to pull out a newspaper (if I had one) and hold it up to block them from each other, but I’m petty like that.

It’s so goady so and sos can lecture the parents of young children that they must pay more for flights than everyone else, on top of subsidising them by paying £££££ for travelling in school holidays.

You weren't being unreasonable to stick to your booked seats, of course, but I think you were inconsiderate with your seat bookings if you planned to talk to each other across someone.

Sorry but that’s just completely inconsiderate. Why on earth should another passenger have your baby being passed across them the whole time.

Once you knew your middle seat ploy hadn’t worked really you should then have moved to sit next to each other.

You would have been hearing a lot of sighs from me. My kindle would have been obstructing your pass the baby game. I don’t want my table and contents constantly bashed by your baby’s feet etc. My drinks may have been spilt. utter entitlement.

Why embarrassed? If OP and her friend were obviously travelling together, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to think they’d rather sit together than have a random stranger plonked between them - once they knew the middle seat wouldn’t be kept free. No harm in asking; not so good to keep making a fuss. I’ve been asked and agreed to swap seats so a man could sit next to his girlfriend; in my case I swapped from my middle seat an aisle. It would have been daft not to have asked.

I’ve never been on one before. I had no idea people did what OP and her friend did. Thankfully, I’ve never had to sit between people who have booked in this way.

YANBU of course Op, I’m an aisle seat person and no way would I swap for anything but another aisle - I need to be able to get in and out at will, and without having to ask another person (however happy they say they are to get up).

The only thing I would say for another time is if you want aisle and friend wants window, book them in different rows. It is a bit awkward for the person in between even if you don’t talk to each other, as there’s that nagging threat that you might.