175k salary and all gone

[175allgone]

This will ruffle some feathers, but after tax, mortgage , childcare, living expenses….there doesn’t seem much left. SE London, commuting, wrap around care. Whilst I appreciate I’m not having to watch my bills I’m hardly living an extravagant lifestyle.

I am not at all surprised . When your children are at school it will be much better ( unless you are planning on private schools of course in which case it will continue for a long time!).

Wrap around care for school and after school activities won't cost anywhere near £4k a month . They just won't . I still remember how much more money we had when DS started school ( we also lived in London then) and that was 15 years ago!. In those days nursery for 1 child was about £1k a month so c. £2k for 2 but we were were earning £80k a year between us not £175k so similar proportion. It really felt like we had no money and we had only one in nursery.

It will improve once you have no more pre schoolers to pay childcare for

What?

I don’t care if people claim UC. Two things can be true. It can be a net benefit to stay home with children, as well as have women working and having children.

Childcare should be subsidized for all. That should be an utterly non-controversial statement.

Well she could move to where I live, pay the same mortgage for a tatty three bed terrace and have a very long and expensive commute. In any event it’s not always easy to move out if you have a job with long hours because you may not get home in time for nursery pick up. It was unfair of you to suggest that her house was incredible when you clearly have first hand knowledge of London and SE property prices.

1k isn’t much left for food etc, the 4k won’t be forever, extra curricular stuff when your DC start school is optional.

Get a fucking grip. Who wants to read a post where this is the issue?

Honestly in your position I’d investigate if both your employers would be open to you dropping to 3/3.5 days a week for a year or two while both kids are in nursery.

Every day you drop would surely save you in the region of £800 a month in childcare.

With similar salaries you’d not save much but it would be a couple of years of slightly more relaxed family life, which might be nice.

If one of you earns a lot more than the other then the lower earner dropping to 40-60% work hours for a couple of years would save you a lot. I’d always say it’s not the best idea to give up work altogether but part time (if you can get it) can be a really good compromise.

Alternatively you just keep going and know you’ll earn more later/have less expenses later and while it’s a bit soul destroying now it gets better.

It does highlight the issues of housing/building costs though as it’s that driving both your house & childcare expenses to be so high.

We are in the north east and our gross family income is significantly less than yours but take home is around £6k, mortgage is half yours, childcare is slightly over half for local 7:30-6pm outstanding nursery, day to day living costs are generally lower, commuting is pennies (mainly wfh/bike).

Kids are not at nursery anymore but even if we had fees to pay we’d have around £2k a month after mortgage, bills, childcare & commuting. I often think it must be so hard for friends in the south as even on better salaries than us (& ours are decent) they always seem to have much less disposable income and they also live in much smaller/less pleasantly located houses. Property costs are a real issue.

I never said give up your job. But if you're struggling to pay your bills, then moving somewhere cheaper and looking at cutting your childcare bill is great advice. It's hardly bitter or short sighted to suggest living within your means.

The OP didn’t claim anything of the sort though? She has money to live on so isn’t living beyond her means. You are too busy bashing here to read what she actually says, so I assumed bitterness was driving that.

“Whilst I appreciate I’m not having to watch my bills”

Practically no legitimate employers in FS or Law will allow this. This is what forces women out of the workforce.

OP is getting a bit of a tough time here. Shouldn’t we be shocked that a salary like that isn’t affording her a luxurious lifestyle. Why shouldn’t people be able to live in London and have a mortgage and children? What do London neighbourhoods look like if families can’t live in them? I see posts on here about people unable to buy or rent near their families, that child rearing ‘’takes a village’s’. Alternative is already happening; empty neighbourhoods where houses are bought by the mega rich from other countries and never lived in? Birth rates plummeting in London (particularly Camden and Islington) so that maternity services are having to close as too few births happening. Everyone moaning at the OP, we should be up in arms that her income doesn’t stretch so far as if the 1% are struggling with basic bills, what hope is there for others? Plus OP only likely able to get salary because of where they are living. Let’s start getting angry at the right things please!

Move areas and change jobs or get an au pair or live in Nanny

Childcare should be subsidized for all. That should be an utterly non-controversial statement

And why on earth does stating that mean you are against universal credit or disability payments?!

I find it quite interesting - common conversation among my peers in London.

Housing + childcare costs being the culprits.

Agreed...strange! Also why commuting costs? I would have thought the pay off for living so centrally means no commute.

This. People can’t see past their own spite and envy and see the bigger issue. In the so called Scandi countries that everyone here loves - op wouldn’t have an issue. She’d have free childcare as it’s a universal benefit. We always take from the ones contributing the most which ironically forces them out of the workforce (especially women).

Well she could move to where I live, pay the same mortgage for a tatty three bed terrace and have a very long and expensive commute

Trains are so unreliable & expensive these days too.

This. People can’t see past their own spite and envy and see the bigger issue. In the so called Scandi countries that everyone here loves - op wouldn’t have an issue. She’d have free childcare as it’s a universal benefit. We always take from the ones contributing the most which ironically forces them out of the workforce (especially women)

it’s depressing

I’m assuming your kids are all in nursery? When will they all be in school? This will take the pressure off. Do you and your husband earn roughly equal amounts, Or is one of you a higher earner? If that’s the case, could the lower earner reduce their hours? This is sometimes more financially beneficial than paying nursery fees. In the meantime, it looks like you need to analyse where every single pound goes each month. Get your bank statements for the past three months and add up all of your categories of spending. Once you have your real spending numbers in front of you, set a budget and see where you can cut back—nothing unrealistic, for example, going from £200 dining out per month to £0, but could you try for £100/month? Once you make a list of where your money is going, you should be able to see patterns which aren’t helpful to your finances. Attack those first.

I just don’t get the people that expect someone to pay. Loads of taxes but not receive any universal benefits such as child care subsidies. These are the same people that say look at the Nordic countries as shining beacons - where everything is universal!

OP is clearly taking the piss and enjoying the attention. 🤨

I’m on 62k, single parent and renting a 2bed flat in Surrey. I’m waiting for DD to go to Uni in 2yrs and I’m heading back north where I can buy a property. I’m priced out of the SE

glad You posted your outgoings. I get that London living is more expensive than others might think. It doesn’t matter your take home pay. It’s all relative, but you won’t get balanced replies on MN I’m afraid. If you work hard, get qualified and earn good money, you will get zero respect on here for that.

But she would probably be paying a lot more tax in the Scandi countries too.

It certainly is. Our childcare bills are the highest in Europe and it’s forcing women out of the workplace including the highly skilled workers that we are struggling to recruit for.

I just don’t get the people that expect someone to pay. Loads of taxes but not receive any universal benefits such as child care subsidies. These are the same people that say look at the Nordic countries as shining beacons - where everything is universal!

I don’t get it either.

No she wouldn’t. Our tax rates with our hidden marginals for higher rate payers are very similar. Everyone else would be though. Our basic rate is very low. There is also the expectation that the majority work and pay tax - that’s not happening here. The pyramid base is bigger.