Can / should a 12yr old pick up after the dog?

[MahMahMahMahCorona]

Earlier today I was hanging out the ridiculous amount of washing, DP was slathering sun cream on the toddler. DS12yr7mo wanted to play football in the garden, and noticed a (terrier) dog poo. DS informed DP, who said "you know where the dog poo bags are - can you pick it up and put it in the bin please?"

Pre-teen DS then had biggest "I don't want to" tantrum, and point blank refused to do it.

AIBU to think a child of 12 can and should pick up after our family dog? DS14 does it regularly as he takes dog out for short walks daily.

12 year old needs to grow up a bit. Of couse it's ok for them to pick up after the family dog!

My DD12 cleans up after the dog, and mucks out the horse, poo picks the field. But does object loudly to doing the guinea pigs

Of course they can. Of course they don't want to.

I'm very glad to hear that we weren't being unreasonable to consider him old enough to be doing this - we've been second guessing following such a negative reaction.

My 9 and 11 year olds would!

I totally get they don't want to, but I had / we had anticipated that as the adults in the scenario, he does what we say (within reason).

I wouldn't force it, he didn't get the dog so I allow choice 🤷‍♀️. I haven't got a dog but have cats I chose to get them so I clean up after them.

if they wanted the dog yes. if not, no if they don't want to

Agree they are more than capable at that age BUT the thought of picking up dog poo makes me heave so I wouldn't make them if they found it too grim. (rather than they just couldn't be arsed).

My 9yo DS is responsible for the dog pick and my 12yo DD is responsible for the cat litter trays, no debate, no negotiation, we all muck in.

What nonsense. So a person brings a dog into the relationship and the other partner shouldn't be expected to do anything because they didn't want the dog? A child shouldn't help out because it's not his dog? No wonder some children grow up to be so selfish. I would give him a choice. Football and pick it up or no football m.

We got a dog when I was 10 and my brother was 12. I didn't want a dog. I explained my reasons and was overruled. I knew the dog would result in more housework either directly or because it would be assigned to me instead of my brother because he was busy walking the dog.
I was always the first person home as my brother went to a school far away that had after school stuff every evening so he finished at 5:20. Therefore if the dog puked or shat in the house it was on me to clear when I got in. I would clear up religiously if I was walking the dog but even my parents drew the line at making me clear poo from the garden.
If your son campaigned for the dog he can clear it. If he was too young for an opinion (or was overruled) when you got the dog then you or DH are responsible for it.
Clearly I'm biased! I also have my kids do more housework than average, but I don't create extra housework for them - my pets are my problem, not theirs!

Dog was discussed (Jan 2020) chosen and collected 4 years ago (chosen April 2020 collected June 2020) by way of a family decision (we used Dog Bingo, and had just lost a much larger breed). DS12 was very much on board with the decision. At no point prior to today have we asked him to pick up after the dog - usually DP does it when dog goes in the garden.

We didn't foist the dog on the child. DS14 sorts the cat (feeding and watering - DP does the litter), and takes the dog for walks when we don't have time (so picks up).

8yo niece asks if she is allowed to pick up the poo. 10yo nephew never wants to (and doesn’t have to, it’s not their dog). But the 8yo is perfectly competent at it. Your 12yo can do it.

I couldn't do it so would never have a dog. Some people are more squeamish than others. So I think it depends really. Does it make him gag and feel sick or does he just not want to do it?
Does he have any interest in the dog generally?

Yabu to think you ought to be able to make him pick it up.

As adults you made the decision to get the dog IMO kids can't own animals precisely because they don't have the maturity to understand the full package of responsibilities. Especially when he was 8 and had the excitement of a dog dangled in front of him.

I'd absolutely

A- tell him if he wants to play football he can picknit up or wait (because why was it even left there)

B- have strong words about tantrumming at 12

C- wouldn't let him walk dog alone.

What on earth! What's wrong with it? My children do it when they or we are out with dogs. since 8 years old. I was surprised to hear their friend had never despite having dogs for YEARS!

Of course he should. Does he do other chores? My daughter at that age cooks for our family sometimes, and some other chores. I'm not suggesting our kids should be unpaid domestic servants, but within reason I think asking for some chores from kids is ok.

If like the pp he had opposed getting a dog, I would accept his argument. If he wanted the dog and likes having a dog, as you say, it's fine to ask him to help with it within reason.

We have 2 indoor Siamese (adoptive only brother and sister). The boy, with us for longer is very pally and OK with my 18year old son. The girl - newer - isnt - despite him feeding her. My son has enthusiastically signed off to both adoptions, but they are indoor only. He has never cleared the litter trays, emptied poo, cleaned them out. So I make him do other jobs instead. (I am never adopting indoor cats again - the last Siamese rescue coped outside - it was just that the newer not very bright male couldnt cope. But the litter trays are just gross and never ending). So I have sympathy but the children need to pull their weight then on other jobs.

We don't have a dog but regularly walk the Neighbours and a few friends. My DD aged 10 has been picking up poo for years. Why on earth wouldn't they.

Oh and it's also her job to scoop the cat litter tray twice a day every day.

What nonsense. So a person brings a dog into the relationship and the other partner shouldn't be expected to do anything because they didn't want the dog?

Umm...yes? If my DH got a dog I expressly didn't want, no way would I be picking up its poo. Or walking it. Because I do not want a dog.

But in this case, yes OP's son should do it.

🤢 noooo I have never poop scooped in my life and we had 2 dogs growing up. Gross. Bit different if your kid begged and begged for a dog but nope, not doing it 😄

ETA… So your kid was 8 when dog decision was made? Of course he was ‘keen’…….. not really a kid’s job to decide whether they actually want a dog in reality and all that goes along with it though.

I couldn’t do it.

I wouldn't expect a child to do it unless they were old enough to understand and agreed to do it as a condition of getting the dog.