Can / should a 12yr old pick up after the dog?

[MahMahMahMahCorona]

Earlier today I was hanging out the ridiculous amount of washing, DP was slathering sun cream on the toddler. DS12yr7mo wanted to play football in the garden, and noticed a (terrier) dog poo. DS informed DP, who said "you know where the dog poo bags are - can you pick it up and put it in the bin please?"

Pre-teen DS then had biggest "I don't want to" tantrum, and point blank refused to do it.

AIBU to think a child of 12 can and should pick up after our family dog? DS14 does it regularly as he takes dog out for short walks daily.

Whoever you can get to definitely do, I’m a bit gutted at how entitled my kids are in terms of what they’ll clean up and what they won’t- and when I was talking about trades and jobs one day was really irritated at what they had already decided was too disgusting to do!!

Fair enough to expect 12 year old to take over putting out the washing and you deal with your dog.

Of course they should be doing it!

This.

@Roundroundthegarden eh no. If my partner has a dog that's his to sort I have no intention of picking up dog shit. I have cats I clean up after them with an automatic litter box.

I am not selfish at all but would literally vomit 🤢 🤮 at the smell. And holding up an 8 year olds agreement is pretty sad.

I see your points about him not being "responsible" at 8 in terms of the decision to get the dog, and I guess that's why we've held off from asking him to pick up the poo before, but ideally we would like for him and DS14 to walk the dog together, and believe it shouldn't just fall to DS14 to be responsible for the poo picking on those occasions when they walk together.

They both help with other household chores (bedrooms need to be tidy, beds made, dirty laundry brought down, dishwasher unloaded / reloaded, washing the car, folding laundry, watering the garden etc - they get £7 and £9 respectively per week for helping us around the house) and although DS14 just gets on with it, DS12 can be quite tricky / eye rolling....

It is gross, though. I wouldn’t insist on this particular chore.

Of course he should. Tell him to get a grip, it’s just a dog poo.

I was on a farm aged 12, doing everything!

My dd has been picking up after the dog she was 9.

It’s grim and not everyone can bear doing it. Honestly I don’t think you should be making a 12 year old do this. You are the adults and need to do this one I’m afraid.

The older one needs a significant payrise to reflect the additional responsibility. I'd suggest a £9 increase specifically because they're picking up after the dog without complaint and has done so for an extended period of time.

The tantrumming one will then get to decide whether he's going to stick with his current rate or whether a 100% increase is worth getting over himself for.

It's something many adults would never want to do, let alone a child. He was only 8 when you got the dog, hardly able to agree to pick up after it four years later!

Picking up dog shit isn't for me and I'm an adult who has made the decision not to have a dog for that very reason. I don’t think any child should be made to do this regardless of their agreement (although he was very young at the time) to have a dog in the family. Ultimately it's the adults responsibility. I don't think 'should a 12 year old be able to do this?' Is the right question. Some will, some won't and some just won't want to and I think that's absolutely fine.

Er, yes? I don't want a dog, if I had a partner with a dog that's his responsibility. Doesn't sound like that's the case here though.

I do think the 14 year old should be paid extra for picking up after the dog if he is willing to, but neither should be pressured to do it.

Is this less about the dog poo and more about the fact that your child who is a year away from secondary is still having “big tantrums”? Because you’ve mentioned “such a negative reaction” and expecting him to do what you say. And if he tries tantruming with his peers, that’ll go over like a lead balloon.

Whispers he's in year 7....

Some people just can’t go near a poo. I can remember my 50 year old brother gagging at the smell of a nappy so I’m fairly sure he couldn’t pick up a dog poo. Luckily he doesn’t own a dog. I would probably forget todays tantrum and when the two go dog walking make it clear that the older one gets paid more for picking up poos.

I think you and PP may absolutely have a point here - DS14 just gets on with it, and whilst pocket money has gone up as per their year group (hence £7 and £9), we might actually increase DS14 to £14 per week to reflect just how much more he does than DS12...

All the posters who are staying how gross it is obviously haven’t done it regularly.
It quickly becomes routine and of course a 12 year old can and should do it if asked by their parent.

A £5 dog bonus is fair

@MahMahMahMahCorona Ok, so change that part to “will be a teenager in 5 months.” Doesn’t change the question based on your words. Are you concerned? You call him more eye-rolly than your 14 year old, you say you were “surprised” by the negative reaction. So it must have been quite negative. So yes, I’m asking, are you worried about dog poo or his reaction?

My 9yo does it so yes! (13 yo does it but really really hates it!)

I don't think anyone of any age should be made to clean up bodily fluids from a pet.

Unless it was their choice to have the pet, in which case I would hope the agreement to get the pet was to look after it in all ways.

Having said that when I got my dog my gkids would fight over who got to pick up his poo lol. Both under 8 at the time.

We don't do pocket money but do have a list of chores available at any time should my 5 or 7 year old wish to do so. They're written out with how much they'll be paid. Both often choose to pick up the dog poo in the garden and earn themselves 50p.