Husband left child in the car

[Cozza92]

Hi everyone, so, I had a situation this morning that has really irked and concerned me. I know it’ll likely lead to an argument with my husband because he feels that I criticise his parenting choices. However, this morning he left my 4 yo son in the car with the engine running. The car was still in our drive way and he was just running the empty bins back around the house but there were a couple of points at which the car was out of sight to him (maybe 10-20 seconds). I was in the house but heard the engine running and bins rolling and went to investigate. Our drive is covered by trees so I have briefly ran in the house to grab something with DC in car but only with keys in my hand and car door locked. We live on a quiet residential street so it’s unlikely that anyone could have run into drive and reversed car out of narrow wall in that time. However, it’s not impossible!!
I was quite angry with him but I’m not sure this is the hill to die on.. What do you guys think? Am I being over the top?

YABU. This is absolutely fine and no one is going to steal a car with a 4 year old in the back.

in a word yes

Yabu. I'd stay silent on this one.

Can't see the issue.

YABU, it was a minuscule timeframe.
You've admitted the car isn't visible from street and a quiet area.
You've done it yourself, stop nitpicking.

Ita fine. Calm down. Massive overreaction

Genuinely thought you were going to say he’d gone shopping for two hours and left him in the car.

🤔

Sorry but this feels like a non-event. Most of the time getting and moving bins would have been within sight of the car and a 4yo should be able to sit in their seat unattended for 10 seconds (obviously this one is child dependent, would yours escapeseat & try to drive?).

When I've done similar, the car is usually off, as I don't tend to turn it on until we set of, but if it was turned on for heating/air con/radio for the kid while they wait, I'd be OK with that.

Unless the child was in the driver's seat, then no, this was fine

Do you live in a city or something?

I live rurally in the north and this seems like an odd thing to be upset about to me but I'm wondering there is more context

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-03-20/3-year-old-left-in-truck-runs-over-another-toddler

Give him a break.

I agree that leaving the child in the car with engine running is a risk, no matter how miniscule. I also think you are over the top with locking your child in the car while you run back to house.

I think leaving child strapped in car with engine off and taking key with you is the more sensible option.

I would rather the engine was off and the car locked but it's not the worst thing I've heard of

Ridiculous to be angry imo.

Letting the engine run idle is irresponsible.

If it was on my own driveway then I don't think I would be really angry, although I would tell my husband he shouldn't do it again. If it was on the street, a petrol forecourt, car park etc then I would be furious. Although it's very rare, there have been instances of cars being stolen with children in the back.

I wouldn't have a problem if the engine wasn't running. I wouldn't lock the car for such a brief period.
But presumably the keys were in the ignition (mine. Is keyless so switches off if I go too far away), so leaving the engine running with the keys accessible would be a no for me.
And cars are stolen with babies/children in the back.

Engine could've been turned off, but nothing I'd post on here about. Is there a reason you can't talk to him? You could just mention in passing that you'd prefer him to turn the engine off in future (and ta for taking the bins in!).

Thank you everyone for your very honest replies! I do suffer from anxiety and lived most of my life with an extremely anxious mother which makes it hard for me to determine when I’m being nuts and when I’m right to be concerned. I am working on it and thankfully avoid sharing this around my son who is very sociable and curious. I do think he could have taken keys out of ignition and to be fair to me, if any child would try their hand at getting out of car seat and driving car, it would be mine 😆

Why did he leave the engine running? That would be my issue with this

I would never leave the engine running with a child in the car. I would leave a child in the car with the engine off and no key in the ignition but only if the child was strapped into a child seat with a harness they couldn't undo.

As a child I was once left in the car in a car park, I took the handbrake off and the car rolled off, out of the car park and across a road and hit a wall. It was only on a very slight incline which steepened through the car park.

I don't drive but not sure that's even relevant in this case. I think ynbu. Anything can happen. Why take the risk of either a kidnapping or the kid driving the car? However small the risk may be. Would people doing this leave their kid with an unknown dog even just for 20 seconds or so?

Engine off and keys with you for me. Or child with you whilst you take the bins but that could potentially be more risky!

How precious. Poor man.

Yes idling really annoys me. It is so bloody easy just not to idle. Isnt it illegal now too? Because it is such a pointless and unnecessary way to damage the environment?