To ask if you have the same political views as your significant other?

[pinklite]

I do. And both of our families also share the same views.

I'm not sure I could have a relationship with somebody that didn't, but perhaps I am being small minded!

Do you share the same views as your SO?

Kind of. I'm more left wing and he's more centre but we generally agree on policies and both dislike the Tories

Not at all. I’m very left wing and my DH is a reactionary right winger! His opinions drive me crazy and sometimes I’m almost offended (I’m almost impossible to offend) but I like that he thinks differently- it makes me assess my opinions regularly and grow.

For me a strong relationship is about shared values so I would find it hard to be with someone who views the world very differently to me

I am all about challenging each other and that being healthy but fundamental values have to be aligned for me to be happy in the relationship.

I'm left of centre he's right but we share the same values.

More or less.

Not me but my parents have very different views although not opposite extremes. They both vote Labour.

One is a free market loving, Jeremy Corbyn hating Blairite. The other is a democratic socialist.

They manage fine, I grew up developing a good skill to debate and a love of arguing. I got full marks in A Level Politics and have ended up even more left wing than both of them. My sibling is more right wing than both of them but not a Tory.

Nope.

But we don't discuss politics and he never votes so all is good.

Our children share my political views.

I have very similar views to mine and there's no way I could have a harmonious home with a reactionary right winger, but I genuinely like your attitude.

No, and the idea that you can't live with someone who doesn't share your exact same views is extremely narrow minded,.

Except Brexiteers, 'cos stupid as well as wrong. 😋

Our extended family runs from moderate One Nation Macmillanite Conservative to Kropotkin anarchist, so...

Nope, I have no interest what so ever.

Yes, our views are very similar and we tend to vote the same - assembly elections are PR so maybe some slightly different preferences or ordering down the ballot but that's it.

My parents cancelled each other out in pretty much every referendum in their 40+ year marriage (Irish, so a lot of them!). I would really struggle to be with someone whose views were so different to my own, especially on major social issues, but they were very happy together and had a fantastic marriage. I guess they're more tolerant than me.

Yes, broadly speaking, and I don't think it's a coincidence - for both of us our politics are an extension of basic morality and compassion. I wouldn't chuck him if he voted Lib Dem or anything but if he took a view that was essentially survival of the fittest (which is what modern conservatism has come to) I would struggle to maintain my love and respect for him.

My DP and I are very much on the same page politically, yes.

I wouldn’t be attracted to someone with completely opposing political views to mine. My politics are a reflection of the values that are most important to me. If someone had the opposite values, we wouldn’t be compatible on anything but the most superficial level.

I think whether you could live with someone with completely the opposite political views comes down to these things:

1. How much your politics are linked with your values and how strongly you feel those values are representative of what makes someone a fundamentally decent person. If you’re someone who just decides how to vote based on which party you think would benefit you personally the most, or who doesn’t see much of a difference between parties, or who just votes a certain way because you always have without thinking about why, then it’s probably not going to a problem living with someone who votes differently.
2. Whether you’re someone who thinks ‘love-hate’ relationships full of massive arguments are healthy. I actually know someone who is standing for election for one party and whose husband vehemently disagrees with that party on basically everything. He will not be voting for her on 4 July. They have constant blazing rows about political issues, really nasty sometimes. But they’ve been together 20ish years and she seems to think the rows are part of the attraction. They have kids and seem to be happy. For me, that sort of conflict all the time would feel stressful and toxic - but we’re all different.

I should add that I also wouldn’t be attracted to someone who had no interest in/knowledge of politics at all. I’ve got lots of brilliant friends who aren’t interested in politics and that’s absolutely fine, but it’s not something I’d want in a life partner.

No. We don't discuss politics in detail and have never shared our voting intentions. But I can guess what his vote is, and I'm sure he can guess mine. We live in a very safe inner London seat where our votes make no difference.

Not at all! I'm left wing, he's right wing, both very outspoken. It makes for great conversation during long car journeys - we love talking about politics and it's always interesting and rewarding when we discover something we do agree on (more than you'd think). He's opened my eyes to a lot of new perspectives as well.

I'll be honest, it really worried me when we first started dating - I fell firmly into the "I could never date a Tory" camp. However, with time I've realised that DP is kind, principled, and shares my core values - we just have very different ideas on what a fair society looks like.

The main problem has been introducing DP to some of my left wing friends - although I agree with their politics, they can be very snooty and judgmental about anyone who doesn't think the same way. I used to be like this myself, so I get it, but I always start to panic when the conversation veers into politics!

My values pretty much align to one particular party.

DH on the other hand is a bit of a head scratcher.... he hates the Tories with a passion "because they've fucked the country"...... yet some of his values aren't exactly left, definitely more to the right. He is adamant he will vote labour but when I've pointed out to him they won't actually do the stuff he wants he gets all huffy. So we don't talk about politics anymore 😂

Very much the same and we talk about it often. Families are also similar to be fair.

No. He once voted Tory which gave me the ink for ages.

and we’ve just had a Barney about whether a two state solution is the way forward for Palestine so no.

Not really. We’ve been married almost 30 years and just don’t discuss it too much.

Broadly, yes.
We have the same overall beliefs about how society should function.
I suspect over the decades we've not necessarily always voted the same though - it's more about believing in different ways to reach the same end, and also, which element of the manifestos are more important to each of us.

DH and I disagree politically, but I still love him despite some of his views

Yes, we have very similar views, a bit different in details but vote the same.
I have a few friends with different political views but I personally wouldn’t be able to have a partner with different political views.
My parents have different political views and it affected our relationship.

Yes, but it wouldn’t really matter if we didn’t because we rarely discuss politics.

And that’s exactly why it matters in our house as we discuss it lot.

Does everyone in your world have to share your politics?
What if you had a friend you liked very much and then discovered her politics were not like yours?
What if you were comfortable with a friend's politics and then discovered she had some very unpleasant traits?