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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell the nosy cow to mind her business?

54 replies

walkthroughtulips · 23/05/2024 20:06

Started a new job, colleague started just one month before me and she’s so competitive with who’s doing better. I personally couldn’t care less,

Now she’s just randomly messaged me asking if I’ve passed probation. It’s none of her business. If I wanted to share confidential informations about myself then I will.

OP posts:
FiveGuyPastry · 23/05/2024 20:07

Just don’t respond.

TheDuck2018 · 23/05/2024 20:07

So don't.

IncognitoUsername · 23/05/2024 20:13

Ignore her

FredsRoses · 23/05/2024 20:15

Either completely ignore it, or tell her that you have no plans to join in her game of one up man ship! Pathetic behaviour on her part.

HeddaGarbled · 23/05/2024 20:15

That’s just the sort of conversation I would have with a colleague, particularly if we’d both started at the same time.

I think it would be weird not to show any interest.

And “mind your own business” and calling someone a nosy cow is just aggressive.

CJ0374 · 23/05/2024 20:18

Do we work in the same company OP! My nemesis asked what my wage was when I started, about finishing my probation also, what my boss says in 1:1's with me! She also texts the group at all hours outside work with her mundane life.
Ignore, ask whether she is normally so rude to ask such personal questions, 'are you always so insecure?'- rinse and repeat.

LongSinceGotUpAndGone · 23/05/2024 20:18

Respond "I'd prefer not to say" if you don't want to discuss it.

lightinthebox · 23/05/2024 20:18

Sounds like a polite inquiry into how you’re progressing. Calling someone a ‘nosy cow’ doesn’t make you sound like the person who’s innocent in this.

4thJuly2024 · 23/05/2024 20:21

Well, have you??

😂😂

Bumblebeeinatree · 23/05/2024 20:26

I remember a few people in my work place getting together and discussing their wages, it turned out that newer people (with the same qualifications and less experience) were getting paid more than other previous employees turned into a real battle understandably. Management didn't realise people actually talked to each other!

Jeschara · 23/05/2024 20:27

Do you look to be offended, she just asked you if you passed your probation. On the other hand if you don't want her to know just say politely I do not wish to discuss it.
Calling her a nosy cow makes you sound spiteful.

OhYoko · 23/05/2024 20:27

When I started teaching there was another NQT who started at the same time in the same department. So competitive. We ended up as Key Stage coordinators together the next year and spent six, long years with her making everything into a competition. Draining. I was young and just put up with it, letting it drive me insane, but if it happened now I'd probably get my boss involved tbh. She would also ask personal questions like that and generally make me uncomfortable with the way she expressed the completion.

Original poster
walkthroughtulips · 23/05/2024 20:51

HeddaGarbled · 23/05/2024 20:15

That’s just the sort of conversation I would have with a colleague, particularly if we’d both started at the same time.

I think it would be weird not to show any interest.

And “mind your own business” and calling someone a nosy cow is just aggressive.

You’d message them outside of work hours to discuss something work related?

Well that’s you, most people don’t want to discuss work in their free time.

OP posts:
ByCupidStunt · 23/05/2024 20:54

How did she even get your number?

In any case, you're right - she shouldn't be messaging you outside of work hours.

and she is nosy. just ignore.

Original poster
walkthroughtulips · 23/05/2024 20:54

lightinthebox · 23/05/2024 20:18

Sounds like a polite inquiry into how you’re progressing. Calling someone a ‘nosy cow’ doesn’t make you sound like the person who’s innocent in this.

Then ask me when I actually see her? I think it’s exceptionally odd to message someone you work with asking them a personal question on a random Thursday evening.

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 23/05/2024 20:58

walkthroughtulips · 23/05/2024 20:54

Then ask me when I actually see her? I think it’s exceptionally odd to message someone you work with asking them a personal question on a random Thursday evening.

Show quote history

So why does she have your number to message you?
Don't be so uptight

Allofaflutter · 23/05/2024 21:00

Block her

Lammveg · 23/05/2024 21:00

Do you think your reaction to the question says more about you than it does about the person asking a standard boring question about something you have in common at work?

CaramelMacchiatoMum · 23/05/2024 21:04

Lammveg · 23/05/2024 21:00

Do you think your reaction to the question says more about you than it does about the person asking a standard boring question about something you have in common at work?

I think it does!

LizTruss · 23/05/2024 21:05

Keep your shirt on!
I was only asking.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 23/05/2024 21:05

HeddaGarbled · 23/05/2024 20:15

That’s just the sort of conversation I would have with a colleague, particularly if we’d both started at the same time.

I think it would be weird not to show any interest.

And “mind your own business” and calling someone a nosy cow is just aggressive.

This. Is it a sales environment? If so this sort of attitude is generally encouraged. You sound unnecessarily spiky op

needsomewarmsunshine · 23/05/2024 21:06

If you are still in the job after the prescribed probation time she'll know anyway. Another random curious as to why she has your number, you don't sound like besties.

GoodVibesHere · 23/05/2024 21:06

I'm with the OP on this, it's not really something you ask is it. Why is she so interested in what you're doing? Does she not have a life outside of work? I'd ignore her message.

Original poster
walkthroughtulips · 23/05/2024 21:14

Lammveg · 23/05/2024 21:00

Do you think your reaction to the question says more about you than it does about the person asking a standard boring question about something you have in common at work?

Honestly though would you really message your colleague a standard boring question on a Thursday evening?

It wouldn’t have bothered me so much if asked during work, but she never asks questions about me, she generally just talks about her, so for her to message me she’s not being polite, she wants to know for a particular reason.

OP posts:
lightinthebox · 23/05/2024 21:16

Did she message you on a work number or chat? If you never talk why does she have your personal number?