What is the biggest lie you've ever told or been told?

[PippyLongTits]

And did you/the liar admit it when caught out or did you/they double down? Or have you got away with it?

I tell everyone I’m okay, when I’m really not…

i overheard a man that I know telling my sister that he was single with no children (he didn’t realise I was standing behind him, nor that she was my sister).

I then said “oh hello Bill, I was so sorry to hear about your wife’s breast cancer, how are you and the kids coping?”

He was an absolute turd. Lowest of the low.

A fellow Music teacher and I (me Primary, him Secondary) were "talking shop" and he remarked that one of his GCSE pupils had produced a piece of coursework much better than usual; in fact, he liked it so much he went over to my piano, and played some of it. To his horror, I came over to the keyboard and carried on playing!
It was not one of the major composers, but it was one of the set pieces for an Associated Board Grade 2 exam......... anybody who has done grade exams will know how one's set pieces get burned into your memory! He was gobsmacked but not only did he believe me, but I was able to produce my copy of the piece; again, if you've chugged through the grades, you most likely kept those books as war trophies!
She has made some attempt at subterfuge by choosing the middle section, but had lifted it from a collection of pieces published by the Associated Board; they produce them to provide a broader perspective on the standard needed for each grade.
When he confronted her in her next lesson, brandishing my copy of the set book, she claimed to have gleaned the basic idea from the collection book, and then adapted it.
Note for note identical, except she'd omitted all the dynamic markings.
This could have been a serious matter for him as a teacher; at that time, they were expected to check coursework and give it a grade, and he could have been hauled over the coals for allowing, or even encouraging, plagiarism.

Told me he was single
Dated him for nearly a year. Found out he was engaged and living with her

In my 20s, one of my colleagues used to tell me very tall tales about her family on work nights out - she was a twin but her twin had died at birth, her mum had died of breast cancer when she was in her teens, her dad had remarried a young Thai masseuse/escort and disinherited her and her brother. Plus loads of boyfriend dramas and health problems.

All were theoretically possible, but every night out there would be yet another terrible traumatic story wheeled out at the end of the night, and tbh the sheer number of different stories just sounded very unlikely - I would wake up the next morning wondering if I’d dreamed it. Previous stories were never referred back to. I was never sure if I was misjudging her and she’d had a truly hellish upbringing, or if she was just making things up for attention.

This song?

Let me sail, let me sail
Let the Orinoco flow
Let me reach, let me beach
On the shores of Tripoli

Let me sail, let me sail
Let me crash upon your shore
Let me reach, let me beach
Far beyond the Yellow Sea

De-da, de-da, de
De-da, de-da, de
De-da, de-da, de
De-da, de-da, de
De-da, de-da, de

Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away
Sail away, sail away, sail away

Things can only get better!

I know what you mean, my mum got me two sets for Christmas two years running! I loved those, and went on to read a lot of the full versions. Plus they had illustrations, although I often wonder why the female characters in What Katy Did wore knee length skirts and short sleeves!

Told someone I moved them when I didn’t anymore and I was basically too much of a wimp to end the relationship. Might not sound big to some but to me it is and it was a manipulation of their feelings.

I almost tell people they look good when they ask me even when they don't

I was a High School Maths teacher and one of my answer books went for a walk off my shelf! A few days later one of the biggest reprobates proudly handed in his homework, it was perfectly correct, even down to answers like ' 4.5cm +/- 0.1cm', 'accept answer within the range 0.6 and 0.9'! He still denied pinching the answer book but knowing in which of HM's prisons he now resides I think he probably did.

Oh lord this has reminded me of when I was a small child and I fell down the stairs at my great aunts house.
I banged my head and ended up with concussion and was admitted to hospital.
After spending the night in the children’s ward, the doctors were doing their rounds the next morning.
The boy in the next bed told the doctors he was there because he had been doing X and Y and had cut his head open.
Wow, how exciting I thought.
Far more interesting than falling down the stairs at a relatives house.
So when the doctors came to me and asked me what I had been doing I replied,
’Well I was doing X and Y too, and I’ve cut my head open.’
The doctor replied with ‘Now now Millions, we both know that is not true, is it?’
I was horrified and stunned as to how he knew I was lying. I had to quickly fess up and tell the truth.
For years afterwards I believed the doctor to be some kind of mind reader. I was far too young to realise he had read my medical notes!

A gay man I knew years ago - early fifties, not particularly good looking - claimed for a very long time to be dating an England footballer who couldn’t come out because the game is so homophobic. Everyone knew it was bollocks - no way would a young man earning five or six figure sums a week be interested in a very plain man twice his age in a ordinary job - but no one could ever really call bullshit on it, because how would anyone prove it wasn’t happening? The whole crux of the story was that this was a secret from the entire world; if you said “Well I’ve never seen you with anyone like that” or “I’ve never heard about a gay England player”, he could have just replied “Well of course you haven’t - it’s a secret, that’s the point”.

He eventually moved to London, supposedly to be closer to this player. I ran into him by chance about a year later when I’d moved there myself. He asked whereabouts in London I was leaving and, when I told him, he rather airily said, “Not bad”. I longed to say, “Well at least [suburb] is a real place. I can’t say the same for your boyfriend”. But I chickened out 😄

When staying at my grandmother’s house as a child I climbed out of my bedroom window and stood on the flat roof of the porch below. My grandmother’s neighbour saw me and told my mother. When my mother confronted me I denied it and my mother believed me. I never told my mum the truth an£ she went to her grave believing poor Mrs Williams was a liar.

My ex *steve nothing about his life was true. Told me he lived on his own and 3 supposed places, changed each time. Sent me a picture of a cat with a women’s pink bag clearly in the background and knickers on a clothes airer in the background. His cats names and the sex of them changed by the week, had litters of kittens said I could have one then both cats magically changed to males not females. Sent me a picture that he’d supposedly drawn of my cats then I found it on google images. That’s just the start, his entire life was a lie

I had a friend in primary school who said she was going to Disney World in Florida. Didn’t hear from her for the 2 weeks she was supposedly away.

When she “got back” she’d brought me a little bag of pressies which I thought was amazing. Genuinely bought into the whole thing.

As an adult I realised that the scroll from Animal Kingdom was actually just a torn off bit of wallpaper boarder with some animals on it and all the rest (some random glass beads, a drawing of Micky Mouse) was just tat she’d found at home. She’d probably been to Spain or something. Maybe Butlins. Maybe nowhere.

Even now, I still mostly admire the commitment to the bit to be honest.

A few years ago on mumsnet a few posters told me i have a crap job and i should better myself and get a job worth doing because im being fed lies in my current job.
Im still in my job and love it.
It spoke more about the posters than it did me.

Feel free to start a thread in the right topic and you'll get support 💐

Was she Scottish?

Good for you! I hope you made him jump out of his skin and yes, he sounds like an utter turd. 🌹

Housemate at uni claimed she was raped by another friend. I woke up to police and prosecutors in the house the next day.

It didn't happen. I can go into the details but I know 100% it didn't happen, poor boy had a perfect alibi all night anyway, it was pure fantasy.

She even wrote an article in a big newspaper (i think the Guardian, it was 15 years ago) about how she was raped and the police and university let her down. Proper feminist, well written piece that would break your heart, except everyone in real life knew it was a lie.

Her mental health spiraled and it turned out that was not her first lie. I had known her 2 years at this point and thought I knew her well. She had lied about everything. She had a complete fantasy life in her head.

I had to move out of our shared accommodation as living with her became unbearable.

No, although that was my favourite i couldn't even say it, let alone spell it 🤣
I "wrote" anywhere is whilst changing a few lyrics, I actually can't remember the words, I'm off to Google 🤣

@StoneColdAlibi ... it's almost just as bad!

I only knew the songs because my previous teacher played us Enya during class so we'd shut up 🤣

I walk the maze of moments
But everywhere I turn to
Begins a new beginning
But never finds a finish

I walk to the horizon
And there I find another
It all seems so surprising
And then I find that I know

You go there, you're gone forever
I go there, I'll lose my way
If we stay here we're not together
Anywhere is

The moon upon the ocean
Is swept around in motion
But without ever knowing
The reason for its flowing

In motion on the ocean
The moon still keeps on moving
The waves still keep on waving
And I still keep on going

You go there, you're gone forever
I go there, I'll lose my way
If we stay here we're not together
Anywhere is

I wonder if the stars sign
The life that is to be mine
And would they let their light shine
Enough for me to follow?

I look up to the heavens
But night has clouded over
No spark of constellation
No Vela, no Orion fuck knows what I'd have written for this verse

The shells upon the warm sands
Have taken from their own lands
The echo of their story
But all I hear are low sounds

As pillow words are weaving
And willow waves are leaving
But should I be believing
That I am only dreaming?

You go there, you're gone forever
I go there, I'll lose my way
If we stay here we're not together
Anywhere is

To leave the thread of all time
And let it make a dark line
In hopes that I can still find
The way back to the moment

I took the turn and turned to
Begin a new beginning
Still looking for the answer
I cannot find the finish

It's either this or that way
It's one way or the other
It should be one direction
It could be on reflection

The turn I have just taken
The turn that I was making
I might be just beginning
I might be near the end

It’s more convincing to plagiarise song lyrics than Shakespeare or (as in a Malory Towers/St Clare’s story, I forget which) Matthew Arnold.

Although I think the girl in that one was doing it to catch an ignorant and incompetent teacher out - I rather liked her for that.

Not me but SIL’s ex boyfriend. He was an international spy so couldn’t give her his address or phone number, also would just turn up when he wasn’t chasing serious international baddies. FIL was shocked when his wife turned up and actually dragged him out of SIL’s bed.