What is the biggest lie you've ever told or been told?

[PippyLongTits]

And did you/the liar admit it when caught out or did you/they double down? Or have you got away with it?

I once had an ex who dug his fingernails into his palm really hard during an argument and tried to convince me it was stigmata.

Thank Fuck that argument was the one I decided enough head enough. It was the latest and most eyebrow raising in a long line of eyebrow raising lies 🤦🏼‍♀️

I was (over thirty years ago) once pally with a lad who claimed to have both type 1 diabetes and cancer. Even his sister believed it and cried with him. His brother reckoned it was all bullshit. To this day I don't know what was true and what wasn't, as I distanced myself as soon I realised the "friendship" was turning sour and toxic. He denied owing some money I'd lent him, first experience I'd had of being gaslighted. I let it go, as by this time the money didn't matter; I never wanted to see him again. Some people are really weird. 🤷‍♀️

When I was about 10 I was friends with a girl whose dad was quite old - he must’ve been about 60 tbh.
For this girl’s bday party she invited some other girls from our class who had never been to her house before. One of them asked who the man was, was it her grandad? My friend said yes, obviously embarrassed about her dad’s age, and maintained the whole time that he was her grandad who lived with them. This was in front of me - she knew I knew it was her dad - I remember being so shocked that she was lying about it! I didn’t say anything like ‘no he’s not, he’s your dad’ because I didn’t want to be a bitch, but I very heavily judged her on that day.

😲

I love how pointless this lie is!

My mother lied to me about her relationship with my boyfriends (at the time) mother. She told me it was platonic. Having never heard that word before I looked in a dictionary (long before home pc's were a thing). So the next time we had a conversation about it she basically said I must have misheard her and their relationship wasn't platonic.

I remember telling friends at school that my uncle wrote some elvis Presley songs

My ex once told me he had to do a all-nighter at work (he was a chef but said they were doing a deep clean) he told me to stay at mils as I would be scared alone. I later discovered he wasn't working he just wanted a night to himself.

A relative was in a relationship with someone he met online. It was all speeding along very fast - met and planning to be married within about 6 months. It turned out the reason for this was the woman had a terminal disease and only had a year to live (give or take - can't remember exactly!) One day his DD came home (teen) and asked where her dad was. She told her he'd been arrested as she had had to call the police because he had become violent with her. Daughter smelled a rat, called her mum (ie the ex-wife). She said 'not a cat in hells chance that is true' and went to police station with her daughter to try and sort it out.
Turns out the whole thing was a lie. Not just calling the police but the terminal disease. Just lucky they didn't actually get married!

@Mynaddmawr swimming to Cuba from morecambe with a lilo for rest breaks is a real achievement, I have no idea why you suspected this not to be true, I think you’re just jealous 😂😂

when I was about 10 we had to write a story at school. I used a story I had just read at home and my teacher called my bluff, I pretended I didn’t know about the original - even almost 30 years on I feel mortified thinking about it!

I am the daughter of a compulsive liar, many silly and totally unnecessary lies but some massive whoppers. Dh and I tolerate them but really it’s just embarrassing spending time with them as we don’t believe a word we are told. Don’t know why they do it, they are a decent enough person without the bullshit, I just don’t respect them at all.

ps I don’t tell lies anymore so my brief story writing misdemeanour didn’t lead on to anything more hardcore!

I don’t lie but I remember my ex husband telling me about an incident that happened before we met.

He was with his best friend in a bar. He saw an ex girlfriend across the room, drinking with two of her friends (he’d broken up with her months before).

For some unknown reason, the women had stickers and she walked across the room and put one on him that said ‘paper bag job’ and walked back laughing to her giggling friends.

He was annoyed so he retaliated by walking over to her table, telling the women that his mum had died the week before (she hadn’t), pretending he was extremely upset and grieving, and he made the women feel very guilty for what they had done before leaving with his friend to go to another bar.

I wonder what she thought when she found out it wasn’t true.

I'm so sorry your mother treated you, her own daughter, in this despicable way. I hope you've been able to get some help to recover from her total lack of conscience and the hurt she has caused you. 🌹

A narc ex, so many lies, too many to remember them all,

Told me he had terminal cancer while I was 6 months pregnant.
He didn't have sex with her, but somehow she had his baby 9 months later.
He swore on his childrens lives that he hadn't broken into my house while I was on a rare night out.
Didn't know why I was being evicted when he hadn't been paying the mortgage for a year.
Got a friend to tell me he was dead. Wanted to see how upset I was.
And on and on...

My favourite lie is this one, I was about 8 or 9 I think. I'd just moved to a new place with a new school.
It was my first week or so and we were tasked with writing a poem about travel.
I'd moved recently from Liverpool to the wirral so my teacher said I could use that experience as inspiration, coming over the water. I briefly considered writing about ferrying over the Mersey however that had been done to death.
But I did stick with the sailing/waters theme.
I wrote "my" poem and the teacher was so pleased with it she read it to the class. The other kids were delighted with it. I was so happy, I felt like a celebrity.
The teacher then decided to read it in assembly that following week, a poem from "our new pupil and talented poet Lauren", I'm beaming like the Cheshire cat. My teacher then reads my poem, which was the entire song of enya's Sail away, a few words I didn't know or had no clue what she said or how to spell omitted. But essentially, the entire song.
I'm delighted my talent is finally being recognised, none of the students luckily were versed as I in enya (I remember vividly the other girls showing me a dance routine to Gina gee and I was horrified that "ooh ahh just a little bit" was much more popular than the equally catchy orinoco flow but I digress) anyway my lovely teacher is proudly reading out my poem and a few smiles and smirks from other teachers soon brought me crashing back to reality. I'd got so caught up in the praise for my poem I was completely blindsided when my teacher was informed I'd not actually written it. I think somewhere in my daft wee head I'd forgotten all about pesky bloody Enya and believed my own hype as the next Keats.
I tried to explain I had written it, just after Enya had also written it, but that didn't wash sadly.
With hindsight I should have thrown in counter accusation Enya copied me. Well known plagerist and all round CF Enya. 😂

I still remember thinking, looking at the poem on the a4 workbook I'd doodled little pictures of waves and boats on how I'd absolutely nailed that brief. Bless little lwrenn, naive dickhead she was.

In that very same class a child, a small, blonde, fair skinned child with blue eyes and a lack of understanding about biology told everyone, for months, his dad was Frank Bruno. I had a massive crush on Frank Bruno as a kid and waited months for his blonde son to start looking more like his dad, it didn't happen and instead he got taller, more slight and needed glasses and got referred to as "the milky bar kid". I would see his actual parents, small, blonde mum and dad who looked more like nick clegg in an Adidas tracksuit than Frank regularly and I was always really disappointed, resentful at times that his "stepdad" would arrive to collect him.
Completely irrelevant side note but that child is now a man in prison for some really awful stuff and whenever I see him in the local news I'm still furious his dad isn't Frank. 😂

Not so much a lie as an omission (but what's the difference really). But finding out my drink driving father knocked down and killed our neighbour while my mum was pregnant with me. I found out when I was about 14/15. I have never gotten over it. I The poor neighbour's family obviously feel so much worse.

Thats 3 of us then…

@Lwrenn this is hilarious 😂.

After the two real ladies died, one of them had a brother who had to come and sort out their pets and it was him who revealed things to us. I got a rather rambling FB message one day, and had to break it to several other people!

After watching the episode of friends when Chandler moves to Yemen to escape Janice I asked my mum to tell my boyfriend I’d done the same next time he phoned for me.

My mum hated him so gladly obliged and despite the fact I was only 16 and couldn’t have moved away to work in Yemen alone she was pretty convincing. She insisted I was “half Yemish” and was doing work experience as I could speak the language fluently.
I think she was enjoying lying to him after he messed me about so much so she told him all sorts of nonsense about me keeping my true ethnic heritage secret because I wanted to learn more about it first. Neither of us had a clue where Yemen even was! 😂.

It was all good because he lived a half hour drive away and so I didn’t bump into him, I heard nothing for 8 months until he saw the episode of friends himself.

He phoned my mum (landline every time) shouting at her that he knew we were lying because Yemen wasn’t even a real country it was just on friends. My mum emailed him a photo of me on holiday in Turkey with a snake round my neck next to a belly dancer who had been dancing with it for the evening entertainment. I had asked for a picture just for a holiday memory.

My poor ex boyfriend said “Well you are obviously still not ready to tell me where Mini is really from but you didn’t have to make up a country when you knew I could see it on friends!”
My mum was laughing so much she ended up dropping the phone.

I saw him about 5 years later he he still didn’t believe Yemen was a real country. I told him I’d been translating documents for English pop starts in an Asian county I refused to disclose. He said “well I don’t know when you had to come up with an unbelievable lie when you were doing something so cool”

I saw him again 7 years ago when I was with DP in my local town, DP is Iranian and had heard the story before from me and my mum and realised the man was “that ex” he told him we met because he was an Iranian pop star and I helped him write lyrics 😂.
The poor lamb seemed pretty star struck and asked all kinds of questions, I had to move us on quickly when DP started snorting with suppressed laughter.

I wonder if he has worked out that Yemen is a real country yet?!

How did you discover she never existed? Did they both make her up or just one?

@infactyourquiteunique

As I said upthread, after both the real ladies died (which they did several months apart, with the fictional lady 'going off to deal with family things' in between), Belindas brother came to sort out all the pets, he got in contact with the people on their 'contact these people' list, one of whom was me.

I think it was Ann who invented Catherine, and Belinda went along with it, and my only theory is that they invented Catherine so she could be an online presence who could write/post the things neither of them wanted to, any flack would then be directed at her, not them. Any mistakes or errors 'Oh, Catherines buggered it up'.. etc. Ann was always the driving force, the decision maker as it were, and also by far the more tech savvy of the two and it was after Ann died that Catherine 'went to deal with family things'... ie, Belinda couldn't or didn't want to pretend to be her on Anns behalf any more.

But that is just a guess, I realllllly don't know. I am reasonably sure it was never intended to be malicous or nasty. I suspect it started out as a good idea and went on a bit too long, then they had no way of backing out of it!

I certainly doubt it ever crossed either of their minds that they'd created this person some of us would mourn!

This reminds me of the Black Books episode when Dylan Morans character finds out one of his exs pretended to die to get away from him lol 😆.

You definitely should have doubled down with a countersuit of plagiarism. Bloody Enya, trawling the wirral copying 9 year olds poems! 🤣

Milky bar kid! I know what you mean, Harry! 🤣🤣🤣

That my ex was a decent loving person and not someone who was happy to have multiple lengthy affairs using my car and with my money due to "needing to work extra hours" whilst i was caring for our child and having multiple miscarriages around the same time.

What the actual *?!?! This is so crazy

This is amazing! She's off the scale!