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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send DS to nursery on a day I am not working?

86 replies

pontipinemum · 23/05/2024 11:09

Would it be really bad to send my son to nursery on one of the days I'm not working?

I normally work 3 days a week but since around Feb I had a project so I was doing 4. Luckily nursery could accommodate this. The project is due to end in early June. But the nursery is still booked for 4 days.

I'm due baby 2 in mid August (although prob July with health). I am thinking of still sending DS1 to nursery for 4 days and having a day either to myself, or cleaning, getting baby clothes ready/ batch cooking.

I feel a bit bad though. But DS is 1.5yr old I won't get much anything done if he stays. Which is fine I love spending our days together doing things he likes.

EDIT to add I don't get much done on the weekends either DH is a farmer and is super busy this time of year so most childcare is on me until things quite down again

YABU - Don't send him to nursery if you are not working
YANBU - Take the day off, it doesn't make you a bad mother

OP posts:
albertoross · 23/05/2024 11:10

Does DS like going to nursery?

Original poster
pontipinemum · 23/05/2024 11:10

albertoross · 23/05/2024 11:10

Does DS like going to nursery?

Loves it. Has loads of friends and has a great time

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 23/05/2024 11:12

If he enjoys it and is happy and settled under the new four day regime

and you can afford it then I say go for it. There’s a lot of preparation to do with a new baby on the way, and you’ve referenced health issues, so if it gives you more time and space to prepare then I cannot see the harm. Presumably your DH/P would support this for you too?

Cantdoitagain1 · 23/05/2024 11:13

My children are older now but I remember worrying about this exact thing when they were babies and toddlers. I promise you, it will not harm him at all and I’m sure you could use a tiny break before you’re back on the newborn bandwagon. Do it.

VestPantsandSocks · 23/05/2024 11:14

Go for it! You will still have 3 full days with him😊

wanderyears · 23/05/2024 11:15

YANBU.

He enjoys it and is happy there.

You've got things to do before baby arrives which will be much easier without a little helper. Then the 3 days he's at home with you can be spent doing things you both enjoy.

Also take some time for yourself before baby arrives.

albertoross · 23/05/2024 11:15

pontipinemum · 23/05/2024 11:10

Loves it. Has loads of friends and has a great time

Edited
Show quote history

Then yanbu. It will be good for him

Original poster
pontipinemum · 23/05/2024 11:18

Arlanymor · 23/05/2024 11:12

If he enjoys it and is happy and settled under the new four day regime

and you can afford it then I say go for it. There’s a lot of preparation to do with a new baby on the way, and you’ve referenced health issues, so if it gives you more time and space to prepare then I cannot see the harm. Presumably your DH/P would support this for you too?

Edited

@Arlanymor it's nothing too hard to manage, I have gestational diabetes (I'm already on a lot of insulin) and after a failed induction ending EMCS last time they are saying the best option will most likely be planned CS 2 weeks before due date.

I went back to edit. DH is happy for me to do what I am happy with. He is a farmer and super busy this time of year. Great timing for having a baby 😂but with the weather the way it's been he is stressed and worked until 9pm last night because it wasn't raining. He does pull his weight he drops DS to nursery and when home always puts him to bed. In winter he is normally home by 5/6 pm. But this time of year I don't expect to see him too much

OP posts:
Chaosx3x · 23/05/2024 11:20

Of course YANBU. It’s not a crime to want or need some time to yourself. And it doesn’t even sound like you will get much of it… sounds like you’ll be busy getting ready for baby!

PieceOfSunshine · 23/05/2024 11:34

Do it! I work 2 days a week and send my DS to nursery for 3 days. Love having a day to get stuff done round the house, go out to do fun stuff for me, or just chill out. I’m a much better mum for it on the other 4 days of the week!

SwingingPlantar · 23/05/2024 11:37

Sounds completely fine! You don’t want to lose his space and if you can afford it then great. People keep sending other children to nursery on maternity leave to spend time with the baby and keep the place and normality for the older child

Welshcake15 · 23/05/2024 11:38

I did this. My son loved nursery and we could afford it, so why not?!

JuiceBoxJuggler · 23/05/2024 11:42

You need time for you - take time for you. End of. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Original poster
pontipinemum · 23/05/2024 13:43

Thanks everyone, that made me feel better about sending him in. I do love spending time with him but it is impossible to get anything done. At this age he still needs constant supervision. Living on a working farm, I think that supervision will go beyond the toddler years as well until he can full understand the dangerous of staying in the 'house garden' and not going to yard/ sheds/ fields.

OP posts:
Chocolateorange22 · 23/05/2024 13:58

Nah go for it

My DS3 goes to pre school 4 days a week, I work 3 days. The day he isn't in I get a lot of the housework done and DIY. Means I get some time for me to mentally recharge and I am more present at the weekend for the kids without having to do those jobs. In September he'll be going 5 days a week as he'll get his 30 hours. He loves it and gets so much more out of it than being stuck at home with me. I don't feel guilty because it's term time only, I do drop off and collection from school 5 days a week and school holidays we shuffle it out between my DH and myself as best we can so they don't get put into holiday clubs/other childcare.

You have the opportunity so if you can then do.

mactire · 23/05/2024 14:03

He’s going to nursery, not down the mines. Why wouldn’t you? Send him and don’t feel an ounce of guilt.

Tagyoureit · 23/05/2024 14:03

Your son loves nursery and you'll get stuff done on that day so you can spend more time together on the other days.

Jellyandcustardplease · 23/05/2024 14:08

Do it! Until you mentioned this I completely had forgotten I did the same with my oldest when I was late in pregnancy with my second, and carried it on for all of maternity leave. It was 5 years ago and we all lived to tell the tale and most importantly all kids are happy 🙂

MariaVT65 · 23/05/2024 14:29

I do that.

I originally went baxn to work full time so he was in childcare 5 ‘shorter’ days anyway. But we just couldn’t cope from exhaustion, lack of local support and all the errands and medical appts, so i dropped a day and kept his childcare place. Worked wonders for my mental health.

myladybelle · 23/05/2024 15:28

Don't even think about it - just do it. I didn't take my DS out of the nursery when I was on mat leave with my second.

Errors · 23/05/2024 15:39

Definitely do it OP. You sound like a lovely mum with a lovely family. Congrats and hope all goes well with the birth!

Noseybookworm · 27/05/2024 17:58

I would absolutely send him into nursery, he enjoys it and it's also good for you to have a bit of time to yourself! Win win 😊 don't fill all the time doing chores, make time for yourself too, put your feet up and rest as much as you can before baby #2 comes!

Underestimated4 · 27/05/2024 18:01

It’s not bad at all, it’s so important for you to have time to do bits you need to.
I work part time but before they started school I sent both my children an extra day so that I had a ‘day to myself’ - shopping, cleaning, gym, batch cooking, lunch and catch up with friends. It was so important. Then I made sure on the Friday I took them out and did fun things. Then weekend was family time with my husband.

BeckyBoo1224 · 27/05/2024 18:22

My son used to do a half day at nursery on a day I wasn't working and it was so nice just to have that time to do housework or a bit of shopping. If he enjoys it you shouldn't feel bad, just enjoy the time to yourself before baby no 2 comes along.

Thirstysue · 27/05/2024 19:17

No, not at all. You need a break. Send him. Put mine in for three days at one point for the bloody peace and sanity.