To send DS to nursery on a day I am not working?

[pontipinemum]

Would it be really bad to send my son to nursery on one of the days I'm not working?

I normally work 3 days a week but since around Feb I had a project so I was doing 4. Luckily nursery could accommodate this. The project is due to end in early June. But the nursery is still booked for 4 days.

I'm due baby 2 in mid August (although prob July with health). I am thinking of still sending DS1 to nursery for 4 days and having a day either to myself, or cleaning, getting baby clothes ready/ batch cooking.

I feel a bit bad though. But DS is 1.5yr old I won't get much anything done if he stays. Which is fine I love spending our days together doing things he likes.

EDIT to add I don't get much done on the weekends either DH is a farmer and is super busy this time of year so most childcare is on me until things quite down again

YABU - Don't send him to nursery if you are not working
YANBU - Take the day off, it doesn't make you a bad mother

I didn’t say you were absurd; I said the notion that your 18-month-old toddler has friends at nursery is absurd. It’s simply not true. Unfortunately, there are a lot of simple-minded people on MN (not referring to you specifically) who read this sort of claptrap, believe it to be true, then start perpetuating the myth that babies and toddlers NEED to go to nursery to make friends 🙄, that a home environment is inadequate, that there isn’t enough stimulation at home, blah, blah, blah.

She doesn’t have an 18 month old, she has a 21 month old. She’s said this multiple times, including in the comment to which you’ve just responded. You’re clearly far too caught up spewing bile to actually read what you’re responding to.

She said 1.5 years in her initial post.

" I am thinking of still sending DS1 to nursery for 4 days and having a day either to myself, or cleaning, getting baby clothes ready/ batch cooking.

I feel a bit bad though. But DS is 1.5yr old I won't get much anything done if he stays. Which is fine I love spending our days together doing things he likes."

This place is nuts. Op loves spending time with her baby - why would she send him away to clean and batch cook? Really?

And then clarified that he was 21 months, multiple times.

No one is 'spewing bile' the OP ASKED for people's opinions. Literally started a thread to canvas opinions. Which she's getting.

Personally I feel really sorry about the idea of a baby being sent to nursery so their parent can batch cook and faff with baby clothes for 7 weeks because I think the relationship is more important than the chores.

I was invited to give an opinion, I've given it.

TWICE

Why are you responding as though I addressed you? Are you and @MurdockFromScotland the same person?

Although I think we do need to acknowledge the fact that OP's son is 21 months not 18 months - OP have you considered asking your son to do the batch cooking in light of this hitherto unrevealed level of maturity?

I didn't respond as though you addressed me. I commented on your batshit post.

Sure you did.

Reporting to MN for sock puppeting. Please carry on.

Go for it. Nursery is fun.

I’m on maternity leave right now and DS who is just a little younger than yours has continued to go full time.

🙄

We are not the same person. For Pete’s sake! Stop being so paranoid.

Only on Mumsnet is considering the wellbeing of pre-schoolers relabelled "spewing bile".

No, I’m MurdockFromScotland, and the other poster is alisonfoyer. Ironic, that you’re lecturing me about reading things correctly, when you can’t be arsed to do the same.

Did you make a decision, op?

@alisonfoyer the project is on going for a few more weeks. I've had news that my mum who lives a 3 hour drive away is now really sick and in hospital so going to have to try fit that in too, so it might be necessary that he goes in that day. Because I doubt he would like a 6 hour round trip once a week to visit her.

Yes sorry I said he is 1.5yrs. He is a bit older ,IRL most people don't want to know in months but I suppose now 'coming up to 2yrs' would be closer

Some of the responses on this thread are a bit silly!

Is it better for your little one to spend 3 dedicated days with you, where you are free of chores etc and can be more present with them and do fun things?

Or spend 4 days where you will be less present and available for your child as you will be busy sorting/doing chores?

It's a balance between quality and quantity.

Spending more time with your child does not guarantee quality!

I say go for it OP, more quality time!

Yes it's better for a baby to be with family than with paid caters unless there is something going on with the parent like substance misuse or severe mental health difficulties.

There is plenty of evidence to back this up.

Parenting is an all the time thing not something you pick up and put down as it suits you,

Sorry about your Mum, op, hope she recovers soon.

Definitely put him in for that extra day. I hope your mum is ok.

@alisonfoyer - I disagree.

Using your logic, being a stay at home parent makes someone a 'better' parent than a working parent, simply because they are in the company of their children more. This is simply not true.

There are some awful stay at home parents, and some amazing stay at home parents. Some amazing working parents, and awful working parents.

What matters is the time you do have with your child and making that time count!

E.g. What about stay at home parents who are doing chores? Keeping the house afloat? Cooking? Watching tv? Seeing friends? Etc etc. They are not fully present with their child for all the time they are with them as life gets in the way. Believe me, I have been to many stay and play cafes and seen children running rampage whilst mums chat and not interact with child.

If the OP puts her child in nursery for an extra day then she can be a more present parent in the time she has with her child as there will be fewer chores on those days. Also; child spends a day in nursery around trained professionals who can stimulate and socialise with her child. Win, win!

Surely this outcome is better than the child spending one extra day with parent where the OP is doing chores and the child won't be getting her undivided attention?

Also @alisonfoyer using childcare does not mean you pick up and put down parenting.

I still parent my child, but I pay for trained professionals to look after him during the day as I need to and/or want to work.

I am still a parent.

Wishing your mum a speedy recovery, OP.