To send DS to nursery on a day I am not working?

[pontipinemum]

Would it be really bad to send my son to nursery on one of the days I'm not working?

I normally work 3 days a week but since around Feb I had a project so I was doing 4. Luckily nursery could accommodate this. The project is due to end in early June. But the nursery is still booked for 4 days.

I'm due baby 2 in mid August (although prob July with health). I am thinking of still sending DS1 to nursery for 4 days and having a day either to myself, or cleaning, getting baby clothes ready/ batch cooking.

I feel a bit bad though. But DS is 1.5yr old I won't get much anything done if he stays. Which is fine I love spending our days together doing things he likes.

EDIT to add I don't get much done on the weekends either DH is a farmer and is super busy this time of year so most childcare is on me until things quite down again

YABU - Don't send him to nursery if you are not working
YANBU - Take the day off, it doesn't make you a bad mother

Do it! Have some time for yourself whilst you can!

When I was a childminder . I encouraged parents to use time they had off . It helps you get stuff sorted without a LO under your feet and you have more available time for them because you aren’t trying to get stuff done between

Go for it! I used to have Fridays off and send my son anyway when he was 2.5 for about a year. I only stopped because the COL crisis meant I couldn’t afford it anymore. Now the house is a mess 😝

He spends a day being looked after, doing fun activities and playing with friends so you can concentrate on him when he's home. He doesn't feel he gets in the way when you are running around doing chores.

What's not to like?

You will both have a better time for it.

Yanbu!
sometimes days like that saved my sanity, whether having uninterrupted time to get stuff done or just a much needed rest.

I spent a decent amount of time for a while when mine was very little making sure I had him every minute I wasn't working (and working some of the time while he was sleeping).

And then one day we booked him more time than my work, things were able to be done without juggling him plus those things, and I realised he was really happy at his childcare (more than with me trying to cook/clean in his company). A little different as mine was actually a spare hour at the end of the days at work which I added, but it meant that when I got him home dinner was done, things were remotely organised, and our time was fully focused and quality. I always think if they enjoy childcare and you have things you need to do which are hard with them there then it makes sense to do it now!

I'm not sure 18 month old babies have 'friends' do they?

Yes, toddlers need constant supervision. That's a normal part of parenthood.

Oie! Pregnancy is hard! You need even more time that that off to nap never mind do things!

let kiddo go play with his friends.

Just to clarify, I think YABU. There is very little benefit from group childcare at this age. If a baby can be with their family then they should be.

Do what feels right for you.
Parenthood = no time ever and people cope in different ways
I didn't send to nursery apart from on my part time work days as I loved their company. They are only at home for 4 years.

I sent DD to nursery three days and only worked two days for four years. DP’s job is round the clock so everything fell on me and we agreed I needed that day.

I'd send him and get stuff done,then when you are with him you can spend more quality time with him. X

Send him if you must, but stop fabricating these false myths. An 18-month-old toddler doesn’t have ‘friends.’ What a load of poppycock.

I’m afraid I agree with this. At 18 months he won’t really have “friends” in a sense an older child would (they just parallel play rather than play together so don’t really benefit from being around other children. Each to their own, but I actually started my second maternity earlier to spend some 1 on 1 time with my eldest before the sibling was born and also took her out of childcare completely for the duration so she’s with us full time- it’s been lovely. I know I’m in a minority though and most people keep their kids in childcare. You only have little kids for 4/5 years, if you think you’ll regret it/feel bad about it, I would listed to your intuition. The big bonus here is also that we didn’t get all the nasty nursery bugs so I could keep my newborn safe.

I think they do, he tells me about them. I can mainly only pick out the names and where they were but I get the idea. He seems excited to go and see them. Has a little one he prefers

@HJA87 We've been really lucky with bugs. DS has been going since I went back to work after nearly 8 months, he's 21 months now. He has been sent home sick 3 days and at that he was only actually sick once. I BF until he was 13 months which is supposed to help but I think some of it is luck as well.

You sound utterly joyless!

Nope, I’m with you OP! I did this with my Daughter and for a few day a week whilst I was on Maternity leave. She loved her nursery and her friends, it would have been cruel of me to pull her from it, it was a win win, I got a rest and on top of housework, she she had a blast❤️

I kept my DS in nursery for 4 days after DD was born. In part I was worried about them not having availability when I needed it later but also was just shattered with baby and it was middle of winter… but once baby settled, weather turned etc I dropped to a few days. And yes absolutely work on basis you will get nothing done on days it is the 3 of you!

Don’t be absurd. What do you mean he tells you about them? He’s 18 months old. At that age, most of them are just starting to put two or 3 words together. They’re not coming home and having conversations about their best friends at nursery with mum.

I have been a SAHM since my eldest was born, and when he and his siblings turned 1, they did a day a week at childcare. Good for them, good for me to get stuff done etc! Go for it.

Dont feel bad he probably enjoys every minute . See it that if you take a day off him you are depriving him of his social life and experiences. Honestly.

Are you serious? Your experience must have been unusual to say the least.

"US researchers found that cortisol levels were higher in children in daycare compared with children at home and that 63% (n = 151) in daycare had raised cortisol levels, of whom they considered 40% were stressed. A meta-analysis concluded that: ‘children in daycare exhibit higher cortisol levels than children at home"

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0141076820903494#:~:text=US%20researchers%20found%20that%20cortisol,they%20considered%2040%25%20were%20stressed.

It's for your benefit, not his.

Is this part to me or someone else in the comments? Which experience?

Thanks for the other part though, I do think he enjoys it. I know Murdock thinks I am 'absurd' but he does tell me in his way about his day e.g. allly sand sand. He played with ally in the sand that sort of thing not full sentences. He's 21 months