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AIBU?

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Dd4 getting work wrong at school

138 replies

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 20:48

Hi,

Just wanted to know if anyone has been in a situation where their child can do the work at home but isn't doing it at school.

My daughter is 4 years old and she's been struggling with her phonics. She's in the higher ability group but the teacher said she isn't keeping up with the pace of the group. She has a spelling test twice a week with two different lots of spellings. She's been getting 1 or 2 or 0. But we haven't been practicing, tbh, as reading and other homework takes up enough time. But the teacher says she's getting simple spellings wrong like black, crab, train, etc. But at home she writes these words in a sentence with me just emphasising the letter that she can't hear, c-r-ab, b-l-ack.... She's writing amazing sentences at home using her phonics knowledge. But at school the teacher says she's not hearing the sounds and I've told them she has glue ear and is under a consultant for this, in the meantime she needs to lip read as well as hear.

What makes a child do the work at home but not in school? They keep saying they can't help her more. They've already put her next to the teacher and she's still getting the words wrong! I've uploaded photos on class dojo of the work she's done at home but they haven't said anything back.

What do I do?!

My dd says she doesn't want to make her teacher sad because her teacher gets sad if she gets her words wrong and she has a panic in the morning saying we didn't practice our words enough. And I have to tell her that it's okay to make mistakes and nobody should be getting sad by you getting your words wrong. We learn through mistakes.

I feel so sad for her. She's a capable girl and I know she has trouble with distinguishing between th and f and if a w word begins with wh or w and she will ask me to repeat again but aside from that I don't see the problems at home that they're mentioning.

OP posts:
Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:24

Londonrach1 · 22/05/2024 21:21

It's learning by play in reception...never heard of spellings in reception...id be questioned if the school is right for my child

It really isn't just that! Yes there is lots of time for play, but they are also expected to get through a lot of phonics and maths, and this is standard for this time in the year. Spelling tests is quite formal, but realistically, every reception child will be asked to spell and write words every day in their phonics sessions

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:25

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:24

It really isn't just that! Yes there is lots of time for play, but they are also expected to get through a lot of phonics and maths, and this is standard for this time in the year. Spelling tests is quite formal, but realistically, every reception child will be asked to spell and write words every day in their phonics sessions

This.

Riversideandrelax · 22/05/2024 21:26

Well first of all she's 4 so shouldn't be having homework and spelling tests. Spelling tests do not help with spelling, reading does. Even my DD's Y7 English teacher says that, you would think a reception teacher would know. My DD has never had a spelling test. Homework only a bit started in Y6.

The school sounds awful. Many DC at 4, 5 and beyond can't distinguish all the phonics sounds yet. And for your DD she has glue ear too! It's amazing she is doing as well as she is. If at 4 she is panicking about school my honest advice is get her out of that school and find somewhere better as it could really damage her. Her teacher is sad when she doesn't get her words right?! FFS!

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:26

I do agree though that the teacher should absolutely NOT be shaming her by saying that getting the words wrong makes her sad. She may not realise she's using these words and may need support to find a better way of speaking

takemeawayagain · 22/05/2024 21:27

It sounds like you're doing great work with her at home, helping her to learn how to blend despite her hearing issues.
Would your dd be upset if she moved down a group? It would probably be a lot nicer to be one of the best in a lower group than struggling in a higher group. Much better for her self esteem.
It all sounds extremely full on for a reception class though.

bakewellbride · 22/05/2024 21:30

My son is in year 1 and has never had a spelling test in his life! His cousins are older than him (eldest is 10) and have one a week. It sounds like a very 'sit down / formal' type school, learning through play is far more beneficial at that age.

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:30

Moonlight222 · 22/05/2024 21:18

Same as at what @Do88byisfree sats, When you are sounding out black for example you’ve put b-l-ack, in phonics it wouldn’t be like this as ‘ck’ is a special friend and wouldn’t be with the a, b l a ck, c r a b and then blend, look up blending videos, read write inc.

I know the digraphs and she knows the different c k ck sounds. She will ask is it c as in cat or k as in king or ck as in rocket. She can distinguish them and is phonetically aware. She will pronounce most sounds correctly and is aware of different digraphs that make the same sound so she knows oy/oi ai/ay oa/ow air/are ee/ea ur/er/or. She knows this through reading with me.

OP posts:
IgnoranceNotOk · 22/05/2024 21:30

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 20:59

I'm just emphasising the l in black and r in crab. Is that wrong? Now with enough practice she can sound it out herself but she wasn't hearing the l and r.

No this is perfect for work at home!

I’m a teacher and was thinking maybe she’s at the end of Y1 or 2 and then she should be using her phonics knowledge to spell phonetically correctly.

She sounds like she’s doing fantastically well for Reception!
Do they set for phonics from EYFS to Year 2? If so maybe she is struggling compared to those pupils in the higher group and all that needs to happen is to rejig which group she is in so that it’s teaching her at the stage she needs.

Riversideandrelax · 22/05/2024 21:30

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:26

I do agree though that the teacher should absolutely NOT be shaming her by saying that getting the words wrong makes her sad. She may not realise she's using these words and may need support to find a better way of speaking

So the 4yo with glue ear is being pressured to know all these words but the teacher herself may not even know what words are coming out her mouth?!

Rocketpants50 · 22/05/2024 21:33

I would be more concerned by the spelling tests, the pressure the teacher is putting on the children that they feel bad if she is sad at their results than the ability of your child. All not needed at this age. Speak up about the issues at your meeting.

Riversideandrelax · 22/05/2024 21:34

bakewellbride · 22/05/2024 21:30

My son is in year 1 and has never had a spelling test in his life! His cousins are older than him (eldest is 10) and have one a week. It sounds like a very 'sit down / formal' type school, learning through play is far more beneficial at that age.

This is where I never agree when people say 'every reception class will do x y z'. Those of us with experience know that is just not true. Schools can be very different. Some are very old fashioned like this but very many are not. OP needs to know there are so many schools out there that are not like this.

My DD has never had a spelling test and she is 12! Her spelling is excellent. Because she reads.

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 22/05/2024 21:36

That's a ridiculous amount of pressure on a 4 year old. Let her be. She will get there at her own pace.

Covidwoes · 22/05/2024 21:37

I'm a primary teacher, and spelling tests in foundation stage is ridiculous. I've never, ever come across that til I read this post. Is this a state school?

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:37

Riversideandrelax · 22/05/2024 21:30

So the 4yo with glue ear is being pressured to know all these words but the teacher herself may not even know what words are coming out her mouth?!

Not quite sure I follow? I don't think it's right that the 4 year old with glue ear is being pressured at all. I've just pointed out that these are normal words to be asking reception to spell at this time of year, because our curriculum expectations are madly high. But it doesn't matter at all that she can't, especially given her glue ear. She's doing really well by the sounds of it! And yes, as a teacher you have a million and one things happening at once, and are talking a lot, while listening out etc.. Sometimes, especially if you are not very reflective, you may need someone to point out that the words you are using are not helpful.

BorgQueen · 22/05/2024 21:38

She’s four years old. Get a fucking grip.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:40

BorgQueen · 22/05/2024 21:38

She’s four years old. Get a fucking grip.

Who was that directed at? Not very helpful.

HejLittleAppleBlossom · 22/05/2024 21:40

Good god, she’s four. Tell the school that she won’t be doing homework, as it’s impacting her wellbeing. Jeez, the state of the government, forcing through policies that force teachers to put kids through this.

Spirallingdownwards · 22/05/2024 21:41

Is she going to have grommets? My DS had grommets and the change in his ability to spell was almost instant once he knew how words actually sounded.

Pin0cchio · 22/05/2024 21:43

Is this a private school?

Its far more intensive than the approach in my 4 year olds very high attaining state school.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:43

Spirallingdownwards · 22/05/2024 21:41

Is she going to have grommets? My DS had grommets and the change in his ability to spell was almost instant once he knew how words actually sounded.

I have seen this as a teacher.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 22/05/2024 21:44

Are you confusing spelling with phonetic writing? DS' school has sets for phonics, it's actually really good because they're not numbered they are small groups with 1 teacher/TA and children move easily between them (4 form intake so it's mixed across the year group between classes just based on ability) , it means children get work pitched exactly at their level and support targeted where they need it. DH is on purple for RWI, which seems to be the higher level for reception at this stage and is writing creative sentences, but his spelling is largely phonetic and we've been told not to correct it at this stage.

cestlavielife · 22/05/2024 21:46

Get her grommets for the glue ear
Even if you need to pay private

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:48

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 22/05/2024 21:44

Are you confusing spelling with phonetic writing? DS' school has sets for phonics, it's actually really good because they're not numbered they are small groups with 1 teacher/TA and children move easily between them (4 form intake so it's mixed across the year group between classes just based on ability) , it means children get work pitched exactly at their level and support targeted where they need it. DH is on purple for RWI, which seems to be the higher level for reception at this stage and is writing creative sentences, but his spelling is largely phonetic and we've been told not to correct it at this stage.

It's a spelling test. That what it says

And she had wh words like when, what, and double ff sounds like stuff, bluff in sets of 5.

OP posts:
IdisagreeMrHochhauser · 22/05/2024 21:49

She can't hear at school bless her. Probably all the background noise. Glue ear is miserable. I had it for years, grommets, the works. Hopefully once it clears up, she'll be fine.

wellington77 · 22/05/2024 21:50

Can you speak to the head teacher- in terms of seeing the curriculum and a list of words the school expects her to learn and see if it tallies with what she is being taught. - this spelling list seems nuts and I’m a teacher! Train- at four?! And two spelling tests a week- that would put me off learning for life if I was that age.