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Original poster

Dd4 getting work wrong at school

138 replies

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 20:48

Hi,

Just wanted to know if anyone has been in a situation where their child can do the work at home but isn't doing it at school.

My daughter is 4 years old and she's been struggling with her phonics. She's in the higher ability group but the teacher said she isn't keeping up with the pace of the group. She has a spelling test twice a week with two different lots of spellings. She's been getting 1 or 2 or 0. But we haven't been practicing, tbh, as reading and other homework takes up enough time. But the teacher says she's getting simple spellings wrong like black, crab, train, etc. But at home she writes these words in a sentence with me just emphasising the letter that she can't hear, c-r-ab, b-l-ack.... She's writing amazing sentences at home using her phonics knowledge. But at school the teacher says she's not hearing the sounds and I've told them she has glue ear and is under a consultant for this, in the meantime she needs to lip read as well as hear.

What makes a child do the work at home but not in school? They keep saying they can't help her more. They've already put her next to the teacher and she's still getting the words wrong! I've uploaded photos on class dojo of the work she's done at home but they haven't said anything back.

What do I do?!

My dd says she doesn't want to make her teacher sad because her teacher gets sad if she gets her words wrong and she has a panic in the morning saying we didn't practice our words enough. And I have to tell her that it's okay to make mistakes and nobody should be getting sad by you getting your words wrong. We learn through mistakes.

I feel so sad for her. She's a capable girl and I know she has trouble with distinguishing between th and f and if a w word begins with wh or w and she will ask me to repeat again but aside from that I don't see the problems at home that they're mentioning.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/05/2024 21:10

Don't agree with all these tests but it's a hearing issue!!

Especially as the classroom will be noisier than home.

Cheshireflamingo · 22/05/2024 21:10

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:09

She keeps saying the teacher gets sad if she gets it wrong. That didn't sit right with me and I have a meeting with the HT coming up on Friday to talk about this referral and I'm wondering should I bring this up?

Definitely. This seems like an insane amount of pressure for a 4yo.

MultiplaLight · 22/05/2024 21:11

She needs to be able to see the teachers mouth, not necessarily be near her.

There is a difference in mouth formation for FL and TH in your example above, and the more lip reading exposure she gets, the better this will be.
At home, sit opposite her when reading and over move your mouth for similar sounds like FL and TH.

I had glue ear and struggled to hear these differences (still do). Luckily I learned to lip read from a young age (not intentionally, more taking the initiative to get through!).

Dramatic · 22/05/2024 21:11

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:05

She was very good with cvc words, it seems the ccvc words are a bit harder for her to pick up the second sound.

And they said she's still confusing th and f. At home she will ask me do yoy mean th as in thank you or f in flower so she understands that they sound similar and she can't distinguish the sounds by hearing but will ask.

Show quote history

God your poor daughter, of course she's confusing similar sounds, she can't hear them. It's quite sad to hear that her teacher is making her feel this way about herself at the age of 4. I'd ask for a formal meeting with the teacher and really drive home the fact that it's not her getting the sounds "wrong" she simply cannot hear them unless they are really emphasised. They absolutely must make allowances for this.

mynameiscalypso · 22/05/2024 21:11

My 4 year old is in Reception and has never had a spelling test in his life. He gets reading books sent home but that's it.

Garlicnaan · 22/05/2024 21:12

My child is 8 and still struggles with f and th! It's bonkers they are being so pushy in reception. Especially given you've mentioned the glue ear twice. I'd keep a close eye on things and consider moving her if it doesn't change. It won't do her self esteem any good.

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:13

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:09

She keeps saying the teacher gets sad if she gets it wrong. That didn't sit right with me and I have a meeting with the HT coming up on Friday to talk about this referral and I'm wondering should I bring this up?

I think it's wrong if the teacher is saying that and making her feel guilty.

Garlicnaan · 22/05/2024 21:13

Phonics lessons move SO fast in reception/ y1 and classrooms can be noisier so that may be why she's struggling more at school.

Original poster
MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:13

It's a normal, quite rubbish state school actually. But she's been innthe higher ability group, she could read simple sentences when she started reception. She's so confident at home but and writing sentences like my bruther (bruther) my frend. I can see a burd (bird) on the balcunee (balcony). That is with 1 to 1 with me though and me teaching her to segment the sounds.

OP posts:
lollydu · 22/05/2024 21:14

What? This can't be true? My DD4 is in reception and her and most of her friends are still writing phonetically and I can barely read what she writes and her school are fine with it? Totally normal to not be able to spell words correctly they've only just started learning to read! I think if they're making her do spelling tests twice a week that's total overkill and detrimental to them! At that age they shouldn't even know they are in a higher or lower ability group and neither should you - the only way you could ascertain what level their at is by the level of books they are being sent home to read and even then you could only place them if you know what the rest of the class are reading to compare.

Garlicnaan · 22/05/2024 21:14

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:09

She keeps saying the teacher gets sad if she gets it wrong. That didn't sit right with me and I have a meeting with the HT coming up on Friday to talk about this referral and I'm wondering should I bring this up?

If the teacher IS saying this, it's ableist IMO. And just an awful, manipulative thing to say.

Concretejungle1 · 22/05/2024 21:14

I had glue ear,
phonetics just did not go in. (Still do not understand) I had to be taught the other way. I was reading before school.

Thirder · 22/05/2024 21:15

I really wouldn't be concerned.
My 5 year old hasn't started school yet and only recognises a few letters, but that's only as he is curious, I'm not teaching him..
I'm in Ireland which is why the later start. I wonder is England much more intensive early on? Irish children have great literacy so the added expectations at an early age don't seem to give overall advantage later on.
If this is realistic for 4 year olds, that's quite sad.

Namechange4765 · 22/05/2024 21:16

mynameiscalypso · 22/05/2024 21:11

My 4 year old is in Reception and has never had a spelling test in his life. He gets reading books sent home but that's it.

That's completely normal!

My DD didn't get spellings sent home until year 2 (and then wasn't tested on them). It's only been year 3 that they've started weekly spellings tests.

NewUser1111 · 22/05/2024 21:16

I would be concerned about this school, OP.

Not only because it sounds ridiculously academically pressured for a 4yo but because - more importantly- you have told them repeatedly she has glue ear and they do not seem to be taking that into account.

very odd

Do88byisfree · 22/05/2024 21:17

(Teacher -- not early years but have worked with students who have similar difficulties)
Does she pronounce the words correctly? If so you could try getting her to sound out the word before writing it.
So for 'black' get her to say the word. Listen carefully for the 'l', then once she's saying it correctly then sound out all the sounds b-l- a- ck before writing while saying the sounds aloud.

While whole word recognition as described by a pp might help in the short term but at some point they will need their phonics knowledge.

mynameiscalypso · 22/05/2024 21:17

MelThomas1 · 22/05/2024 21:13

It's a normal, quite rubbish state school actually. But she's been innthe higher ability group, she could read simple sentences when she started reception. She's so confident at home but and writing sentences like my bruther (bruther) my frend. I can see a burd (bird) on the balcunee (balcony). That is with 1 to 1 with me though and me teaching her to segment the sounds.

My DS is also on the highest ability group and can read fluently. He's definitely never had a spelling test!

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:17

Nctodayjan24 · 22/05/2024 20:55

She's 4 and spelling black and crab.
Quite the opposite to a problem she is amazing. I have taught infants (in Ireland) for years and this is work for a good group of 7 year olds.
I am genuinely gobsmacked in spelling tests twice a week

In England, this is work for the end of the reception year, so rising 5

mamaison · 22/05/2024 21:17

Omg the poor thing.

Teacher here.

Train is not a simple word to spell! There are multiple possible graphemes for the /ai/ sound- ai, ay, a-e, a in an open syllable.

Is she a summer born 4 year old who is close to finishing her Reception year? I wonder if they are introducing two sounds a week and trying to get her to spell words using these? Two tests a week seems crazy.

It’s not uncommon for children to have trouble discriminating btw f and th and also v. If she has had glue ear then this is even more likely.

She is having trouble breaking down the constant blends at the beginning of words so you are helping her segment them. Consonant blends are not the simplest of spellings.

I would definitely talk to the teacher and ask for the SENDCo too.

It sounds like your daughter would benefit from some phonological awareness training. This can be especially beneficial to children with hearing or speech and language issues.

Moonlight222 · 22/05/2024 21:18

Same as at what @Do88byisfree sats, When you are sounding out black for example you’ve put b-l-ack, in phonics it wouldn’t be like this as ‘ck’ is a special friend and wouldn’t be with the a, b l a ck, c r a b and then blend, look up blending videos, read write inc.

hockityponktas · 22/05/2024 21:19

Oh this makes me so sad. She’s 4, this is clearly a really crappy teacher.
Your DD sounds very bright and you’ve obviously done lots at home with her to support already.
I honestly would just carry on as you are, tell her how wonderful and clever she is and how hard she works on her phonics and writing. how proud of her you are and that her best is always good enough.
it sounds like far too much pressure for a 4 year old. Arrange a meeting, reiterate that your DD has a hearing issue and that you don’t appreciate the level of pressure and guilt she is being made to feel.

Londonrach1 · 22/05/2024 21:21

It's learning by play in reception...never heard of spellings in reception...id be questioned if the school is right for my child

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/05/2024 21:23

hockityponktas · 22/05/2024 21:19

Oh this makes me so sad. She’s 4, this is clearly a really crappy teacher.
Your DD sounds very bright and you’ve obviously done lots at home with her to support already.
I honestly would just carry on as you are, tell her how wonderful and clever she is and how hard she works on her phonics and writing. how proud of her you are and that her best is always good enough.
it sounds like far too much pressure for a 4 year old. Arrange a meeting, reiterate that your DD has a hearing issue and that you don’t appreciate the level of pressure and guilt she is being made to feel.

I agree but the teacher might well be getting pressure from above for 'results' as that is how a lot of schools are now unfortunately. A discussion with the Head or Senco might be necessary.

Depressedbarbie · 22/05/2024 21:23

Reception teacher here. These are normal words for teacher to be asking reception children to spell at this stage in the yead, in line with our ridiculously pushy phonics curriculum. However there are many children who can't! And that's not something to worry about. Expecially given she has glue ear!! The reception teacher sounds possibly inexperienced?
At home, you can help her more by making sure she is saying the whole word correctly, then getting HER to hear and say all the individual sounds. Then, if she doesn't get them all, you cnan help her segment the word.

StormingNorman · 22/05/2024 21:23

The teacher needs to find a different way to express herself and encourage the children.

I’m quite unsettled by the idea of a teacher telling a child that making mistakes makes them sad.

I’m not one to complain but I would speak to the teacher about how she is verbalising or emoting when the children get things wrong.