To not like people coming to visit my baby?

[SuperintendentBattle]

I know, I sound like a total grouch, but I've really not enjoyed people coming to visit my baby. I'm a FTM to a 3 month old and I find it a faff. The timing always seems to be off, landing when DD needs to nap or feed. We don't follow a strict schedule or anything so it's not like there's a time that I can reliably tell people to come that she'll be awake, and she only contact naps so I can't even sit with people and chat while she's asleep. I also find it an effort to get myself dressed properly and to tidy up the house, and then make sure I have something to serve people. DD often starts fussing/crying and it's not like I can even have a good conversation with people when that happens!

I know people will say I don't need to worry about tidying or food, but even that aside, I just find the whole thing tedious and a bit stressful and wishing people would leave when they're here. Quite a few people do things I don't really like either, like kissing the baby on the face or not washing their hands. I often find myself trying to put off visits just because I can't be bothered. I did have PPA for the first couple of months but feel pretty fine now, I just don't really enjoy the visits!

AIBU?

I 100% felt this! I couldn’t be bothered with people. I wasn’t depressed but they’d stay for ages which I just couldn’t be bothered with, I felt like I had to sit an entertain or socialise when I really couldn’t be bothered. Being a parent is hard and people want to come round “for a cuddle” and I really couldn’t be bothered with it. Everyone had an opinion on my little ones sleep too which I also couldn’t be bothered with. I hated visitors.

Exactly. Be moaning if nobody came.

I also hated the visits when my daughter was tiny. She was 6 weeks premature and we didn’t come out of hospital until she was 12 days old as I was also very ill. My family were really understanding and there were no instances of invited visitors. Most didn’t meet her at all until she was about 12/13 weeks old. My ex in laws in the other hand drove me to fury! Would turn up out of the blue, try to take her from me or lift her out of the Moses basket and wake her. The very rare occasion they manage to grab hold of her, I had her back within seconds. They were then all stopped fully from visiting. She was not a trophy or prize to be passed around and because they had put her life at risk in NICU by trying to take her out of her incubator, I had absolutely zero goodwill for them.

Stick to your guns and just tell people no more invited visits, the door will not get answered unless you are expecting someone and let them be unhappy. That’s their problem.

How would you feel if no one visited you ever and you were alone with your baby all day every day.

Be grateful you have people who give a shit. Lots of new mums don't.