Feel like I’m living in an episode of gossip girl - teenagers!

[Guideley]

Well well, whoever said boys are easier than girls as teens, I have a bone to pick!!

Where to begin, my DS is 18, in sixth form doing his A-levels. He’s bright, has firmed his uni choice for next year and needs AAA.
Last summer he started dating a girl in his year, she’s nice enough and until lately it’s been drama free.

To the issue, well it’s turns out my DS was “emotionally cheating” now I’ll be honest I’m not sure what this means and I don’t really want to but I’ll assume he was chatting to another girl a lot, apparently this had been going on since march (source - my Y12 DD as DS would rather keep me in the dark), the girl in question is in Y12 and one of my DDs best friends.
On the weekend before there first A-level so last weekend, a bunch of Y13s and some Y12s went for food. DSs girlfriend didn’t go (she apparently doesn’t like anyone). Well DS being the perfect example of an idiot decided to kiss this girl he’d been messaging on the walk home and was seen by someone who told his girlfriend.
Oh golly since then it’s been non-stop. On the night before his first exam she broke up with him - DS is distraught. But that I could handle he cheated that’s on him, but since then I think she’s been pushing the boundaries.
Apparently she was seen kissing his best mate the same day as one of his exams, she messaged him over the weekend to say she’s made summer plans with some other lad and honestly it feels very vindictive.
She’s definitely more academic than DS and according to DD seems to be fine and getting through by being a bit bitchy.

Now DS has has a couple of his exams already and tbh he doesn’t think they have gone well at all, unsurprisingly. If there is any chance of saving this he needs the rest to go perfectly but this girl seems to be intent on getting her own back. He has blocked her but she seems to find ways to get to him!

Her mum isn’t on the scene but I think I need to talk to her dad and say “hey can we call a truce until exams are over then you two can battle your break up however you see fit”.

DH thinks I need to stay out of it, DS is a mess and I feel like we are in a teen drama show!!

AIBU wanting to talk to her dad? Or will just be looking at either clearing or resits and hoping DS has learnt a lesson?

Gosh aren’t teens hard work!

Stay out of all of it OP. You're way too interested in his private life.

Encourage your DS to focus on his exams, and stay out of the drama. He's brought this upon himself and he needs to keep his head to get through it.

Personally I think it's the best friend who's out of order. what was he thinking, missing his best friends ex?!

Just ask how he’s going to feel as a 45 yo who is has a low paid job because he fucked up his exams by starting the kissing wars with a girlfriend who will think nothing of him in 20 years time. Ask to think how he will explain crappy grades with a straight face when someone asks about them.

Honestly, this is one of those tough love moments where you tell him to pull his head out of ass and he can have sympathy and mope when he’s finished his exams.

(I know I know… tell me you’re gen x without telling me… but this is absolutely the talking to I would have received from my mum… minus the f-bomb. She swore like a sailor but didn’t use that one).

After all of that has been said tell him he was an idiot that got what he deserved and you still love him but he needs to do better next time.

They are young and experimenting, I kissed someone different every week at their age. Just tell him to block her and get on with his exams.

He is most upset about her publicly kissing his best mate which I do think is petty.
I tried to tell him if she’s out kissing other lads then she’s obviously not that hurt and he shouldn’t be either.

What a stupid thing to say to him. So he treated her badly, now you’re speaking of her badly? I’d say the fact that she kissed his best mate shows exactly that she is really hurt. If you want him to develop any emotional intelligence, wouldn’t it be better to discuss that with him? His “best mate” is as big an arse as he is!

I genuinely think you could not have handled this worse if you had tried.

Absolutely, op you need to give his head a wobble and use some tough love, his future is way more important than this current drama, he needs to pull himself together and do his exams, he'll regret it forever if he messes them up now.

I suggest you also keep out of the drama now, tell your dd the same, shut it down at home. Maybe teach him some coping skills or something like cbt to help get through this emotional period. Once the exams are over then it's time to give him another talking to about what an idiot he was to cheat, emotionally and the kissing, and the lack of respect he showed his poor ex girlfriend.

Imo she's done nothing wrong, how come you're calling her bitchy and vindictive for kissing the best mate, but not seeing how badly it reflects on the best mate as well?!