Someone mispronouncing sons name

[Neodymium]

Would you consider this rude? To be fair I have not corrected this person, who we speak to regularly, as he is representing my son in a professional way. But despite hearing how my husband and I pronounce his name, he pronounces it in a different way. It didn’t used to bother me but it’s starting to get to me. Like he thinks he knows better than us and we are too ignorant to know how to say it.

for reference it’s a name starting with J that can be pronounced is a Spanish way with a ‘ya’ sound (not what we do) or with a J sound which is what we do as he is named for the English origin. In fact it is more common with the J sound but it is an uncommon name and so I think that he just thinks we are wrong and he’s trying to correct us.

Not sure if I am being unreasonable here to be slightly annoyed.

Joeblo?
Jarvis?

Jedi?

This is one of those threads where it doesn't make sense without the actual (oh-so-outing) name.

Honestly, just say what it is, you can name change/cover up afterwards but in a thread you start specifically to discuss a name, it's disingenuous not to reveal it! Surely you see this??!!!

Marking place to see if he still does it.

Is the name Julian v Julen? I couldn't get that bothered about it. The letter J is a bit contentious eg. Juventus the club. I pronounce it without the J sound, my husband with. We are both from the same place (i.e not Italy), but I have moderate italian and know the J is dropped.

Just keep correcting him till it sinks in

Some names just are really hard for people to get right they just are

It's not their fault it's just the way it is because it's unfamiliar

But why doesn’t it make sense if we don’t know the name? It makes perfect sense to me.

There are two issues here, and one clear solution to the problem. One issue is that this person keeps mispronouncing OP’s son’s name. The other is that she (up until now) hasn’t corrected him and believes he should have known without being specifically told, because he’s heard her and her partner use the name. Maybe this person is being deliberately ignorant, but OP can’t be sure of that, because she’s dug her heels in and complained that he SHOULD know rather than simply saying, “Actually, it’s pronounced XYZ”.

Tell me what changes about all of that depending on the name. Go on.

I think because

1. people don’t believe me that I’m actually saying it correctly
2. people think that the Spanish pronunciation couldn’t possible be ‘ya’

to be honest, maybe that’s not the proper Spanish way to say it. I honestly don’t know as I don’t know any Spanish. Maybe it’s not even how it’s said it Spanish. But the ‘ya’ sound is how he (and others) have said it. Maybe they are wrong about that too. The correct way it the English way, and it’s not a ya sound.

kind of like how Jacob can be pronounced ‘ya-cob’ I don’t know if that correct or not but I’ve heard it said that way.

It has got to be Jago

I vote this name too

I don’t think I’m going to get an answer unfortunately. My son also uses a ‘stage name’ (which is an extremely ordinary name) the person has now started calling him his stage name in messages.

This is what I thought. And which I would pronounce Yago but I think I'm wrong!

What does your son prefer? Have you had a conversation about this with your son?

Maybe your son has told his promotor that he prefers that pronunciation and to ignore mum?

I have a friend with this name. It's pronounced JAY GO. Not yay go, yah go, jar go, or any other variation thereof 🙂

No he hasn’t. He doesn’t talk in person with him without me

It is rude not to call someone by their name.

Addressing someone by their assumed name which exists for other purposes in personal communication without invitation

Or mispronouncing it.

I think you're right, he doesn't want to use the name as you say it.

I'd send him a history of the name
'Dear X, you don't seem to be able to accept that 'abcdefghi' pronounced 'abc defg hi' is his name and this is rude. As you are representing him I feel it is not unreasonable that you accept his name and use it. Maybe it would help you to understand the names history so I provide it here, this is the last conversation I want on this and I expect you to use it correctly in future. Thank you.

Which does he prefer, though? Does he care?

I bet it’s Javier / Xavier. Just correct them. If you’re going to go with a pretentious name in England, at least have the balls to correct people who mispronounce it. You don’t have to be rude about it.

Is that pronounced "Yah-boo" or "Jabbu"?

Well I didn’t think he cared much.

but we did have a call today unscheduled due to emerging crisis situation with what we are doing. He said it incorrectly a few times, correctly once and his stage name several times 😂.

I’ve not ever mentioned it to my son, but I did notice today he kind of rolled his eyes abit and looked exasperated when he mis said it again.

I didn’t bring it up today as we were in crisis meeting to sort something urgently. But at least he said it once correctly so that’s an improvement.

It’s not a pretentious name.

"Like he thinks he knows better than us and we are too ignorant to know how to say it."

My twattish ex-husband was exactly like that. My friend's grandson is called Aaron, pronounced Arron. Twat ex always insisted that they were wrong and it should be pronounced Air-ron. And did, in front of them. Countless times, despite me telling him the way the family chose to pronounce it. I know it could be pronounced either way but he would not understand or respect their choice.
One of the many, many reasons he is an ex.

You are not at all unreasonable to feel annoyed, OP.

"To be fair I have not corrected this person". Well you are clearly happy for him to crack on saying it how he says it then. 99% of school/college/uni teachers exist, plus all teachers of extra curricular activities like private music or dance teachers, because not everyone does pick up on everything without particular in put. Otherwise all teachers would need to do is switch on the right videos.

That’s what I thought.

My daughter has an unusual sounding name and people mispronounce it all the time. Our surname is not pronounced as it is written either. I tend to correct once but then leave it, other wise we would be doing it all the time

I'm struggling to see how a name could be (according to you) as "super super uncommon" and cause your son to often use a more normal name in place of his actual name, yet not be pretentious.