One of the school mums doesn’t seem to like me

[Theponytales]

And I have no idea why?

My child and her child are friends. I’m always pleasant, say hello, smile. I’m occasionally treated to a “Hi” back. More often than not I’m totally blanked, today she even spoke to another couple of parents in front of me, while I tried to start a conversation while our children were playing together. She physically turned away so she wasn’t facing me.
It’s really hurtful and I have no idea what’s going on.
We are friends on Facebook - I added her a while ago and she accepted.

Earlier this week I stood aside at the gate to let her past and she didn’t even look at me, never mind saying thank you or acknowledging me at all!

I had this. It's a shame, because she otherwise seemed nice, and I'm nice 😆. Didn't want to be besties, but chilled acquaintances would do like most of the rest of the parents. But no, she had to do the weird exclusion/avoiding/barely contained contempt thing. With the benefit of hindsight, it was either something or nothing and I don't really care. But at the time it was hurtful and awkward. I don't know why people are like it.

I do the avoidance no eye contact thing and I'm like a ghost at school drop off and pickup. Trust issues. I do not trust that people can be genuinely kind. From experience people can be nice for a time then either nasty or eventually ice you out for no reason at all. Not even an explanation.

Best to just do you. If you go back a page you can read my comment about what happened with me and 2 other parents at the school. But I'm noticing a small group who at first we exchanged a few words actually seemingly ignoring me now. Maybe it's cos they thought I was doing the same. I was being friendly but not really wanting to get close to people to just end up hurt later.

People can be so mean. Even indirectly.

Hi again, I have just posted about my own experience with another school mum if you're interested in having a read. You're not alone.

OK rude and? What do you want?

@Theponytales how are things one year on?

@Greysquirrels
Thanks for checking in, things are exactly the same sadly.

Sometimes people just don't like each other.

I've learned that you can't force someone else to be friendly.

For example in my workplace, me and one of my colleagues never speak to each other, as we just don't really like each other.

It could also be nothing to do with you at all.

When I'm tired and stressed, I've no energy at all to be friendly to people.

Yes, it's never a situation where everyone in the world is going to like you, any more than you will like everyone you ever meet. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Why are you so bothered about one parent not liking you (and obviously purposely belittling you) out of other 29 mums?
People project their own stuff and trauma onto others and as someone mentioned above, IT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
Delete her from social media and stop making the effort as obviously she enjoys humiliation game.
If she's not adult enough to tell you what is wrong, just stay away.
Children find new friends all the time, even in the same classroom as they grow and mature so don't be worried if your kid looses that friend.

This is really rude OP, I had something similar with a mum at school. She would be exactly like this and I couldn’t figure it out, she’s super friendly to everyone else, she was rude to my husband too. I just stopped smiling, stopped trying and now we both just ignore each other completely. I wouldn’t worry about the fact they are friends, they can be friends just in school and not outside of it.

The odd part is that I chat totally normally and very friendly with her mum when she picks her grandson up. She always talks to me and we chat for ages.

You really need to ask yourself why you care OP. Why is it so hurtful to you that this person who isn’t a friend, seemingly doesn’t like you?

This is a ‘her’ problem, not a ‘you’ problem.

Obviously you are fabulous and it’s her loss, no?!

I really feel for you op. It's horrible. I remember when my eldest was - and still is friends with a woman who absolutely hated me. I mean really hated me.
It made no difference to their friendship,we just ignored each other

Should readwas friends with a lad

You get that her mother is a different person, right? My mother and I would think very different people were awful.

@Boligrafo Yes, I get that but they seem close and if she had an issue with me I thought she might have mentioned it to her mum.

I had zero interaction with school mums. I worked and DC went to before and after school club. Loved going too. So glad I never had to deal with this stuff.

You are in for a very rough ride if you think reception children care what their Mums think of other Mums. Grandma doesn’t care either. Think you need to chill out and stop overthinking every interaction.

Some people are just like that. They aren't actively ignoring others, they aren't aware that their behaviour comes off as rude...

I have a conspiracy theory that society has socialised women to be constant competitors so we don’t all group together, because if we did, with our collective female rage everyone had better watch out.

I wonder if she has a child in a higher year group, so already has an established group of mum friends.
If so, it’s not personal. She probably has a lot on her plate. Just continue being kind and friendly, and take her as she comes.

Stop trying to engage with, she is rude!