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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

if I HATE my cats?!

95 replies

bohemianbint · 04/04/2008 14:33

Ok, yeah, probably. But they left the bottom half of a mouse on my kitchen floor this morning and I've spent the whole day in fear of finding (or worse, of DS finding) the top half. I had to get rid of it myself because DP had already gone and it was a nightmare; DS wouldn't be put down and I had to hold him and stop the cat escaping from the kitchen into the rest of the house with dismembered rodent in tow.

Disgusting creatures.

OP posts:

Spidermama · 04/04/2008 20:45

One of mine miaows loudly all the time and likes to stalk her way through the houseplants destroying them all and peeing in them and eating the leaves.

The other spends plenty of time outside but she's very fluffy so often has shit caked around her bum.

Both enjoy having free reign in the kitchen. They love to go on the table, across the sink, sniffing around, licking random bits from the surfaces.

Sometimes I look at them and long for a dog.

I would add the bit about how I love them really and they do great things too blah blah blah but I'm in far to bad a mood to see the good in anything tonight.

northernsoul · 04/04/2008 20:45

So it must a be a built in cat trait.

Shithead steals dirty socks but clean underpants.

A cat with standards

Spidermama · 04/04/2008 20:49

Is the sock thing broody behaviour? Is Shithead carrying kittens around with the dirty socks? I remember a cat called Lizzie who would bring big leaves in through the cat door and care for them.

northernsoul · 04/04/2008 20:57

Haha that is bonkers.
She's done it since we got her from animal care at 6 months old.
She may possibly be maternal, we've had her about a year and she wanders past me daily with some undergarment in her mouth.
Maybe she's had a promiscuous past

frootloop · 04/04/2008 20:59

i'll never forget when my cat came sauntering into the front room with a flapping, screeching blackbird in his mouth. we had to chase and grab the cat and run outside before forcing his jaws open and allowing the poor bird to fly off.

and the time he paralysed a squirrel which we took to the vet for him to put down as we were to chicken to put it out of its misery ourselves.

and the hundreds of mice and baby rat carcasses waiting on the doorstep every morning.

bloody cat (but i love sooo much)

time4me · 04/04/2008 21:00

I hated my cats but looked after them very well,only through duty.The mess,the cost,the miowing,the dead birds,the hairs.They lived until they were 21 and 22.
I will never get another cat.However they did nibble my head and never ever hurt the children.They put up with anything from my severely disabled son,and greeted him with total affection even when he yanked their tails.After the cats I got a rabbit and it was much worse with that.It had diahhorea due to a faulty digestive system.I had to bath it each morning.Again I looked after it to the very best of my ability,but it meant we couldnt have a holiday.I rang the vet and said its me or the rabbit.It was the best £12 Ive ever spent.Never again.

Spidermama · 04/04/2008 21:01

I remember my cat when I was a kid came back with the fluffy, whiter than white hind legs and cute tail of a bunny rabbit. She was so proud of herself.

northernsoul · 04/04/2008 21:19

This thread has reminded me of something that happened when i lived in Hong Kong.

All of our cats should be thankful they dont live in China.

I was at a food market in China where there was lots of cats for sale (as food) and the girl i was with was horrified at seeing the cats in cages so she decided she was going save one cat and take it back to Hong Kong with her on the train.

She picked a cat, thinking it was going to be her new pet and the man got it out broke its neck and handed it to her in a carrier bag

Didnt see that one coming!

chunkychips · 04/04/2008 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

bohemianbint · 04/04/2008 21:39

I'm practically weeing with laughter here. Masturbating cats? That's priceless!

Yup, and forgot to mention the cat eating curry from the pan on the stove and the murder attempts. Even worse when you're pregnant and can't see your feet and the little bastards darlings lurk there waiting for you to break your neck.

I really don't think I like them at all. And they're only 4. They could go on ages yet.

OP posts:

sweetkitty · 04/04/2008 21:41

Why can't they pee in the litter tray? It's like us trying to pee in the bath and missing. Our girl is the most stupid useless thing ever. She scratches at the cat litter for about 10 minutes but still cannot cover her poo.

Mine lie in the bath too so before you have a bath you have to spend 5 minutes cleaning the hair out of it.

A fly comes in the house the 3 of them take turns trying to kill it and I still have to finish the job for them.

Posey · 04/04/2008 21:50

sweetkitty - I'm sitting here nodding vigorously as I read your post. What you say is so true

sweetkitty · 04/04/2008 21:57

oh and forgot the spitting food out thing, why can't they just eat a whole bisuit at a time, nicely over the bowl oh no they must spit a bit of every biscuit out. Especially over the carpet about 6 feet away from the food bowls.

So first thing in the morning when you get up once you have cleaned up the sick, emptied the litter tray as the smell is blinding your eyes never mind your nose, you have to clean up the little bits of cat food all over the place. Oh then feed them, as thats the reason you are awake anyway as they have been making so much racket in protest. Only then can you make yourself breakfast!

At least you know children will one day deal with their own poo, you will be cleaning up your cats shit forever.

ellideb · 04/04/2008 22:12

Belgianchox a maturbating cat? please explain. i can't get that image in my head (not sure i want to either but i'm intrigued)

theyoungvisiter · 04/04/2008 22:17

Our cat has turned from the most affectionate, lovable creature in the world to a terrible pissing shit-monster since the birth of DS.

however he is very old so I keep my rage in check thinking how awful I would feel if I walloped him and then he had a heart attack or something.

DH however has no such compunctions and wakes up every morning and says hopefully "did the cat die in the night?"

MegGriffin · 04/04/2008 22:27

My DD (5) came down stairs this morning and said "the bloody cats been sick" I must be more careful what I call him but he is one of these cats that pukes most days after eating and has done for the last 10 years and it's always me that has to clean it up bleugh.

Posey · 04/04/2008 22:37

MegGriffin - my ds (also 5) said similar..."oh X you bloody shit, you missed the tray again"
It is the only thing that causes my language to deteriorate...

Twinklemegan · 04/04/2008 22:58

This thread has made me laugh more than I have in ages. It all rings so true and now I don't feel so guilty about telling my cats to piss off twenty times a day.

edam · 04/04/2008 23:16

Hilarious thread. Especially the pervy underwear addicted cats - WTF?

But I am still feeling guilty about my poor old moggy, who was very needy but sadly neglected after ds arrived. Can't get another cat because I still feel so bad about not paying her enough attention. Although the vet did say her kidney failure would have been very sudden...

TenaciousG · 04/04/2008 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2GIRLS · 04/04/2008 23:22

Sorry know it's a cat thread, but I hate my dog.

Vulgar · 05/04/2008 00:02

My Bengal masturbates when he's sitting on my lap. It's disgusting. My Burmese steals socks and hides them ,esp childrens' socks. He's the one that sprays although the Bengal pisses on the floor if he feels neglected.

I am often woken up by a cat puking violently in the middle of the night but always manage to tread in it on first thing in the morning. I've forgotton by then so there is a lot of cursing.
I still love my three tho'.

Willowwisp · 05/04/2008 08:41

This did make me smile! Because I've got three and the Siamese brought a live baby rabbit in through the cat flap once!!! It hopped past me as I walked in the kitchen! I managed to save it thankfully!

Oh and he brought a LIVE grass snake in now that nearly did give me a heart attack!

Oh and the last one, I was all done up for a posh wedding, silk dress, hat the lot just about to leave and he brought a live bird in and let in go in our lounge, it s**t all over my curtains! I got rid of it and he went out and brought another one in five minutes later, I was a tadge scruffy after that!

You love them really!

lovecat · 05/04/2008 10:03

Oh god, the trying to kill you thing!!

I swear our cat lurks just waiting to trip me up. And he's decided that dd's food is far tastier than his own so will continually leap onto the table trying to half-inch some.

It shames me that one of dd's first coherent sentences was 'No, Schro, get off!

And the 4am yowling like something out of the Exorcist (the cat, that is, not dd).... and the vomiting in corners so you don't necessarily find it immediately and it's all dried out and immovable...

But, but, he was my baby for 14 years before dd came along and he's an old man now so I can't hate him, per se... he's also a soft old bear who puts up with endless unintentional abuse from dd and happily goes back for more without a hint of claw or fang when she's dragged him around the house under the armpits playing 'babies' with him... so I suppose I love him really!

Belgianchox · 05/04/2008 12:33

i've only just come back to this, so apologies. I will explain about the masturbating. He does it at night, before we all go to sleep, he basically rubs himself up against something hard - dh's shin for example , and then he rattles away for however long it takes, can be ages, or until we get thoroughly peed off and boot him off the bed. At the same time he does this he's clawing the duvet/bed spread with his front claws, making a delightful mess.... I did once speak to the vet about this, he said it was unusual but not unheard of. The more i type about him the more i'm finding it difficult to find him any redeeming features. Poor thing, i should really remember that he was my faithfum companion when i was still single and living alone. I might add his nale is Monster, perhaps he's just living up to it, and all of this is my fault!

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