My husband did it for 10 years before getting out. He’s been out for 8 years.
PPs are right- they owned him, body and soul.
If he got home by 1030pm (he left the house at 7am on a normal, not busy day), I thought it was a good ‘easy’ day.
He did not see are two eldest children in the week at all (well awake at least!). He only saw them at weekends… but not if it was busy because then he had to work. Often he did not see me awake for days at a time.
I felt pretty much like a single parent Monday- Saturday. As the spouse it was really lonely.
When I was in labour with DC2 (having been rushed in for an induction due to a problem) he was told (jokingly, but the subtext was VERY serious), that labour takes a long time, and there’s a lot of hanging about, so make sure you keep on top of your emails.
The pressure and strain upon him was immense. And he was in a dept. that was not considered that cut throat! Friend from his trainee intake that went into the higher paying/more intense departments were sleeping at desks… getting a cab home at 6am that would wait outside whilst they showered and changed and then straight back to the office. That was not anything unusual.
He didn’t want to continue and was at the stage where he needed to put more effort into getting clients and making partner. He decided it was enough and couldn’t do it anymore.
He moved to the higher education sector. His salary is now lower than yours. We are much much happier as a family.