Anyone met someone naturally in their 30s?

[Dont1981]

If so, where was it?
I'm 33 and not having a great experience with the apps. I'd like to meet someone in person that I fancy.
I tried: a language meetup- out of the 3 men there, one was married, one was gay and another was interested but very sleazy and pushy so I blocked him.
A running group: men were either taken or twice my age, plus I slowed them down so don't think I'll go back.

Life drawing: mainly women, most people were almost twice my age.
Work: most are taken.

It's doable but you have to work at it. Keep going to classes and whatever it is you're interested in. It's a numbers game.

How about the gym? People are mainly there to work out of course, but there's some opportunity for conversation.

I met a guy at the gym in my 30s. He turned out to be a complete AH but that's just my bad luck!

I met my fiance on tinder though, although that one is a story in itself.

How about volunteering? Goodgym might appeal. That's how I met my partner in my thirties.

Get into cycling or triathlon. Clubs are full of men in their 30s or 40s.

It's a numbers game - you met three men at language class and let's say 15 at running club? So you met 18 men. That would suggest only maybe 5 of 18 random men are likely to be in your target age range. And then a chunk of those are likely to be in relationships.

And then you need to like them and they like you etc so it would be a good start if you meet via an activity that you enjoy as that gives you a better chance of having something in common.

So - you have to keep trying. What's your friendship circle like? Are you meeting friends of your friends partners at parties etc?

Has it worked for me? Not yet. But I have friends who met people in real life so it definitely happens. I hate the apps too.

I met my DH at a friends at a birthday meal in my early 30s. Summer is almost here - the perfect time for planning a few group get togethers / pubs / bbqs / meeting people! Good luck OP!

What apps are you using? Both my adult dc and a couple of my close friends have had success with hinge app.

I did, through a hobby group, quite a few relationships formed through that group actually. I think you should continue to join meetups/groups of activities you are interested in, but maybe look for things where there is more opportunities to talk, like hiking or games. Try a few until you find a group that you gel with.

It's better to join activities you are genuinely interested in, and take the opportunity to meet other people etc, not just go for the sake of finding dates.
My now husband and I met through the hobby group, but we only started dating because someone else invited us to join a spin-off group that was meeting for nights out.

My brother was 31 when he went on a ski holiday with friends. His now wife got on the coach and sat next to him having slept in and missed her flight with friends. What are the chances of that?

I did, at 34. I didn’t go there looking for one though (classic cliche!)
Try a hiking group, often full of singles. In London anyway. Don’t know where you are?

We met at an event through mutual friends, I think it can happen.

Thanks everyone this has helped me :) im in Liverpool
Sadly my gym is full of teenage boys 🤣

I met DH through a mutual friend (who was dating his flatmate at the time).

I met DH in the pub. I was single and took a second job behind the bar, a dog walking friendly pub, not a wild town centre one.

I met lots of people male and female, made lots of friends, had several dates. Like PP it's a numbers game. You need to find more opportunities to actually meet people

Met my lovely partner at age 30 but not naturally - got very very extremely lucky on tinder. For both of us first person we’d met up with. Five years later very happy with a toddler.

I do think it’s very hard these days to meet people naturally once you’ve left uni. There are of course opportunities if you go to clubs/gym/classes etc, but it’s tough.

Yep, met my husband whilst in hospital at 30!

Yes but through mutual friends and going out partying a lot! Was also 33.

Yes. I was 36, he was 32. It was quite a radical method though, because I had gone abroad to work in a country with a large expat community where people tended to do group events, lots of new people arriving all the time and people very open to making new friends and networks, but no emphasis on singles meet-ups, a mixture of attached and unattached people. Also most expats had similar sorts of jobs so strangers had more in common than you might find at a group meet up in the UK.

Before that I had been stuck in a massive rut in the UK after a LTR ended when I was 30.

Sometimes a massive shake up is what you need. Could you move cities or change career or job?

Was he a fellow patient or a member of staff?

I guess the wfh culture doesn’t help either. Fewer opportunities.

Yes I did, in a hiking group (and we have attended quite a few weddings of couples who met in the same group!)

Lots of opportunities for talking and getting to know people when you're out hiking for hours. And it doesn't feel too intense as you can mingle between different people/groups. And we went away for a few weekends each year and had some social meet ups too which offered more opportunities.

Can I ask how people tend to take things to the next level? Is it quite formal as in one of them says “Would you like to have dinner some time, just us?” or do people stay in the pub afterwards and end up having drunken snogs? I think my concern would be someone feeling I had latched on to them once our mutual single status became clear, and they might just want to enjoy the walk.
And if you do end up making or receiving a dinner invitation, there is still that awkwardness of knowing you are then sizing each other up as a potential partner.

Slightly different situation but when I was younger I had a lovely colleague, we used to have such a laugh together at all the work events, we had a really compatible sense of humour, had grown up in the same part of the country so had funny regional in-jokes and has really similar views on life. We always sought each other out for chats during the working day. He was quite socially reserved though, not the type to get drunk and make a lunge. I took the bull by the horns and asked him one day if he’d like to go out for a drink just the two of us. The subtext was clear. He stuttered “no thanks” and barely looked me in the eye ever again. I left the company about 6 months later and never saw him again. A mutual friend thought he might have been asexual, reason doesn’t matter I guess, but OMG it was so awkward and I lost a friend into the bargain.

@AndiOliversGlasses love the name btw!
Sounds like you did the right thing and you can’t be responsible for his reaction.

Met one ex at 36 as we got chatting in the court jury holding room, picked for the same case and then went out for drinks after the case to decompress.

Met current OH as I was sat in a pub one Saturday afternoon reading a book, and he came over and asked if I'd like to sit with him as he incorrectly thought I'd been stood up by a friend and was lonely.

Neither of these are helpful, as you can't particularly plan for either, but just know it's not all over and there's hope out there.

Hi!! My best friend (early 30s) met her partner through work and a couple of my other friends met their partners through socialising with friends they had made through hobbies like tennis and cycling. I personally found dating in my 30s very tough compared to 20s, especially on apps (even though this is how I met my partner!)

have you tired bars/pubs?