Mil and dh : dirty old woman pic

[Isthisweird1]

I have two dds but I can't imagine talking to a son like this and I certainly can't imagine my dm talking to my db like this....

So.. A few things a while ago over time.

I saw a pic of young teenage dh on the sofa and mil crawling towards him. On back she had wrote " dirty old woman".

Then one day we went round and before she realised I was there she draped her arms around his neck like a lover and complained of the heat ".

A family friend once said she told them, having a nice husband wasn't necessary if you had a son.

But she never complements him and puts him down which is strange?

It's the lost rat from the noises in the kitchen

It’s the searing, relentless, oppressive heat, op. It has an effect on people…

Is she called liz hurley?

I give my adult sons huge squishy hugs when I see them. I hope people don't think I'm a weirdo! Too fat to crawl along the sofa on all fours so safe there.

Can I guess French?

How long is the sofa? How can a grown woman crawl towards someone on a sofa

What r u talking about ? Post doesn't make sense at all

Is it possible “dirty old woman “ has different connotations in the country she is from?

I would’ve thought everyone in UK knew the phrase referred to a letch not someone who has made a mess, which another poster suggested so perhaps it is just has a sexual meaning to Brits

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Lot of weird sniping starting off this one.

Anyhow, OP, you’re MIL sounds cracked as hell. The picture thing is really making my upper lip curl in disgust. I can imagine this though—there are weirdos out there who flirt with their kids and grandkids. F*cking sick and bizarre if you ask me.

Ick.
🤢

Is she not just a rather dramatic touchy-feely type of person?

My ex lodgers mum was like this - very loud, very given to draping herself over her son and making loud exclaimations, it was all 'Yow!' and 'ohhhhhhh' and 'eeeee' all the time and using his nickname in her first language (not English)...

She's also all over his facebook with wildly inappropriate comments that entirely miss the point of whatever the post is about because she seems to live on another fucking planet to the rest of us (despite having lived and worked in the UK for the better part of 30 years).

She embraces the 'mad foreign lady embarrassing Mum' thing whole-heartedly (and will tell you so at length if you are trapped in a room with her for more than 30 seconds), loves to be dramatic and seemingly gives zero fucks what anyone else thinks. She tells everyone it is because she is Croatian... but I cannot believe the entire fucking nation is like her, I don't understand how they'd ever get anything done!

I can absolutely picture her doing exactly as you describe both in the silly photo and the draping and 'its so hot' incident.

from another eu country
Norfolk?

OP, you're uncomfortable. It sounds like a relative has also picked up on the vibe.

Instincts are not wrong in these circumstances. Your MIL is weird and inappropriate. It's unusual from a mother to son but if it was father to daughter people would not have so much trouble getting the situation sadly.

Hopefully you don't have to see her often.

Oh well done, well done 🤣🤣🤣

No idea what people don't understand. Your mil is one of THOSE - no boundaries but that's ok coz she loves her kids. Yuck.

The picture was a double entendre/inside joke; she'd been working in the garden and was literally dirty.

The comment on being hot was because the weather was hot.

The hug was pro forma; she thinks you're supposed to hug your children when you see them after being apart for a little bit. She said she didn't realise you were there because you were out of her line of vision and she didn't see you.

The comment was because she doesn't have a nice husband but is trying to look on the bright side and count her blessings.

GOODBYE

As others have asked, what does your husband say about it? It seems at least inefficient, if not prurient, to speculate behind his back, unless you don't know him well enough to ask.

Op, you are putting yourself across weirdly but I'm guessing you're doing your best here.

Maybe there is something weird about their relationship. The fact she's always mean to him actually adds to this; if it was otherwise a warm and healthy relationship you wouldn't find a close hug so confusing.

The only way to really know is to talk to your husband though. Gently, because if he was/is in a strange relationship with his mum then it is likely to be sensitive, or he might think that she's normal and you're being weird for asking.

Parents can be inappropriate with their kids however I think your bigger worry is that she doesn't treat him nicely generally. I think you're worried mainly about your partner and his happiness rather than whatever your Mil is doing.

Talk to him because I'm not sure you'll get anything out of Mumsnet. We're only going to know if it sounds weird or not to us, and enough of us said yes it sounds weird. Maybe it's fine but either way the relationship isn't very healthy anyway and that's where your concerns come from.

Jocasta complex.

I drape my arms around my adult son's neck and give him a big hug when I see him. If it was hot, I might say it's hot. There is nothing sexual in it. The picture sounds weird but why not just ask DH what it means.

So in the photo your dh was a 'young teen'? So that's quite the accusation you're levelling at her isn't it. She doesn't just fancy and flirt openly with her young son, but is also presumably a paedophile. I find it hard to believe. Your evidence doesn't suggest it so I wonder why your brain jumped to it.

If she's from another country is her first language English? Just surprised she'd write on photos in English, particularly if it was something contentious.

Did you ask what the photo meant? My guess is she was mimicking someone else - someone they know, someone they'd just seen on tv. How can you tell she's crawling towards him from a photo? Without movement, she's just on all fours.

I saw a pic of young teenage dh on the sofa and mil crawling towards him. On back she had wrote " dirty old woman".

So, basically, you're saying you think your husband's mum is a paedophile who comes onto her son?

That's the only logical conclusion from what you have written.

Have you spoken to him about this?

Mostly on threads women are told to trust their gut instinct.
What is your instinct telling you?
Have you raised this in any way with your partner?
I think maybe you are struggling to convey what you mean here as it is not one thing but several things together and another relative has commented too.
I'm not sure about poo pooing a poster because this happens to be a mother and son scenario. Although rare it definitely happens.