Returning home to England was my lifeline..now I’m scared

[Dogsbarkingeverywhere]

Plan is to do up our house (live abroad) and hopefully get some profit and return to England in a few years with our young child, to be closer to ageing parents.
My family came over a while ago and my Dd seemed depressed and said for the first time ever she genuinely doesn’t want to go home. She’s quite a home bird, likes a holiday, but happy to return home, whereas I love travelling and going away.
Reading so many posts on here, most recent one about v young kids swearing and spitting in schools is just so upsetting. I would be working in schools, so feel really worried about this aspect and Dd being in classes full of kids like this

is anyone else struggling to understand this OP?

• Where are you living now?
• Where are you wanting to go to? Have you gone there yet?
• what depressed your DD - was it returning to England? Or the thought of coming back (if you’re already abroad)

I wouldn’t let a young child dictate our major life decisions. They get to choose between the park or swimming.

Not all schools are full of violent, swearing children and presumably where you currently live will also have a few children with additional needs too. Research your move and location very carefully and then do whatever you think is best.

@JacquesHarlow Sorry! DS-sister came to visit us a while ago and didn’t want to return to U.K. Now I can see how putting Dd by accident in first part will confuse everyone

Why didn’t your sister want to go home?

Even more confused now

So it's not a child who doesn't want to move back to the UK? It's a sister who came to stay with you on her holidays and then said she did not want the holiday to end or to go home?

I think the OP is concerned about what life in the UK will be like, even though returning was part of her family's master plan. Her sister not wanting to return after her holiday has heightened her fears.

How long have you been gone from England OP? Are house prices more expensive where you are because the profit you make might be gobbled up over here.

This is a new thing on MN now.... provide little information in the OP, don't proofread it for errors and assume everyone else can guess the context and missing details.

Well no one wants a holiday to end and to return to the drudgery of day to day life. I'm not sure I would read much into that.

Well most classes aren't full of "kids like this". There may well be a few horrible kids, but most schools are fine, most kids are fine, and the overwhelming majority of people are quite decent. Have you been back to the UK since you moved? It's gone downhill a bit, I concede, but it isn't awful.

That’s how I understand it. It still sounds like a huge overreaction to someone else not wanting to end a holiday. I mean, we’d planned to leave the UK and move home to our country of origin, and a year or two beforehand, one of my closest friends moved there for a job, hated it, and left again after a year. That didn’t sway me.

Where do you live?

I wouldn't be scared of returning to the UK based on a few Mumsnet threads, or my sister not wanting to end her holiday.

Where are you now? Why did you move and why are you coming home?

And how old is dd and did she ever know England as home??

This is all very relevant!

Are you essentially saying that your plan was to move back to England at some point in the near future. But your sister's recent visit has highlighted the negatives about England and you're now worried it might not be in the best interest of your family to return?

If I've understood correctly, then I understand your worries, but can reassure you that there are many, many areas in England where people live happily and safely. The majority of children have good schooling that they enjoy.

Do thorough research to find an area you'll be happy to live in. England is a good place to live, in the main.

Sounds like she's not a fan of being the only point of contact for ageing parents and wouldn't have minded a few years living abroad herself.

Yes, but so is ‘TLDR’ - difficult to strike the right balance. Also the acronyms aren’t universally understood - e.g. DS mostly means son, but some people use it to mean sister.

Sounds like your sister was enjoying her holiday and didn’t want to go home. Not the same thing as you not wanting to move back. Where are you now? What part of the Uk will you be coming back too?

We are coming up for an election and so being made to think about the state of the nation. This could be making us all go on a bit more about what a shithole the place is. Remember how much British people like to moan. I think there has been a deterioration in public services but it’s probably not so significantly different from what you remember.

Can you visit the UK for a holiday to see for yourself before making any relocation decision?

I think you need to start again with your OP to make sure it can be understood correctly.

You are living somewhere abroad with a plan to return to the UK in the next few years?? Your sister visited you and for whatever reason didn't want to go home after her holiday?? Is that right?

So far so normal, as I often feel reluctant to return to normality at the end of an enjoyable holiday. Why does this affect your plans?

You need to be much clearer.

I have three children in state schools. Their ages are spread so that they are in primary, secondary and sixth form in a comprehensive school area. I don't recognize any of this feral behaviour that posters would have you believe is an inevitable and omnipresent part of day to day school life.

I wouldn’t base your decision on some mumsnet threads. No one really posts about good things do they. Shall I do a post about how lovely all the Kids are in my DC’s class? Because they are. I’m sure many schools have lovely children.
Strange post.