Husband taking kids abroad

[mumspiration1997]

AIBU?

My husbands sister is getting married in Greece in September. I have a chronic fear of flying. Never been on a plane since I had to get taken off one by medics. However , he wants to bring out 2 boys. 5 and I. His whole family going and I really really would love to be there for my sis-in-law however I just have to accept I can't go. I don't want my boys that far away from me and I don't want them missing out. Help! Would you let them go and spent the week pacing the floors?

I wholly understand how debilitating a phobia is. I have one that does affect my everyday life to some extent, and it's not a case of getting hypnotherapy or CBT and it magically goes away. So hugs to you OP.
I would look into trains and a boat. It's doable.

That is the most ridiculous and unkind post I have seen on MN.

Phobias are not rational. They are very debilitating.
OP is not being irrational for having a fear of flying (unless she has failed to get this treated). She is however being irrational for getting in the way of her family doing something because of it.

Clearly you're someone who doesn't understand phobias, so this is incredibly unhelpful.

I get your fear of flying but what I don't get is why you don't go anyway. It's Greece and not Australia you can drive/train/bus it.

I think some people are missing that the DH has been away working in another country for 6 months. Unless they've been flying him back weekly he's been pretty much absent from both kids lives for that time. OP is their main caregiver, and may not see her DHs family much. If OP doesn't go and kids don't go, the kids massively miss out. If OP doesn't go and sends the kids they're also missing out. They're in a strange place with people they haven't seen very often, their own father included. It will be fun, exciting and stimulating, probably overstimulating. And what young children need in an overstimulating environment is comfort and reassurance from primary caregiver.

OP needs to work out a way through for the sake of her kids, not just accept she won't be going.

Echoing everyone else and saying do something about this fear. It's irrational and you know it. You should all be there together. You're being completely and utterly selfish and for absolutely no reason. Do a course, take drugs, whatever, but knock this shit on the head for your family's sake.

My mates wife was like this. Her daft fears got to the point where she wouldn't even go out of the county. Completely clipped their wings. He always hoped she'd get help but she just fobbed him off with false promises. Then he died before he was 40. Fucking waste.

My friend’s husband flatly refused to fly. They did actually do a Spanish holiday by ferries and trains. So there are other ways to get to Greece if need be..

I’ve been thinking about the language of this one. The fact that OP seems to believe she’s in a position to stop them going doesn’t sit right with me when they appear to be in a stable, happy marriage (yes I’ve taken into account her DH has been away but classic drip feed to support her view imo). If we had a similar post saying someone’s DH wouldn’t “let” them take their kids on this trip would be littered with claims of abuse and LTB.