TW child SA!! Name these people?

[Trulyme]

Trigger warning!!
Child sexual abuse/rape.

I have been reading the following news article and it’s absolutely vile!

Any peadophilia is awful but it makes it feel somehow worse when a parent, who is meant to protect their child, is the one abusing them/facilitating it.

Fortunately, it sounds as though this little girl wasn’t physically harmed and they were caught before any physical contact took place.

But AIBU to think that the mum and her lover should be named and shamed?

I understand that the child’s identity needs protecting but these people are horrific and not being named is protecting them.

Why should they get to have an easy life and pretend to have been sent to prison for something else, when they are the awful human beings.

What to you think?
Should they be named and shamed or is it right that their names aren’t given to protect the child?

https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/mum-planned-drug-daughter-aged-9282295?utm_source=cornwall_live_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Cornwall+Live+-+Truro+Live+Newsletter_newsletter&utm_content=&utm_term=&ruid=805772e0-79b8-496a-abb0-3f10b9b8f07c

No I never thought for me personally (I don’t have Facebook).

But these people have carried out horrendous acts and most of which will go unnoticed in the future.

Of course they could change their names but there are some prolific criminals that cannot escape what they’ve done because people know who they are and therefore they cannot lead normal lives.

Both this man and woman will be out in a few years (most paedophiles get less time than drug dealers) and they will be free to date other people with kids and get jobs and have relatively normal lives.
And this child (and any future victims) will be messed up for life.
That makes me angry.

Yes it is probably misdirected anger but these sorts of people do not suddenly see the error of their ways and change, they will be on the lookout for their next victim before they’ve even left prison.

It frustrates me that more can’t be done but the victim is the most important person and what’s best for her should come first.

Grow up.

If you want to troll or post a witty remark for laughs or likes, then please go and do it on another thread.
Not one about child abuse.

‘Disgusting and judgemental attitude to those in your care?’ Just to confirm, we’re talking about people who abuse children right? Not someone who stole a car or something like that? Your whole post is madness

Funny that you've leapt on that, but have not resonded to my replies to you.
But yes, I am happy to admit I was hoist by my own petard her, and apologise.

Shocking isn’t it!

I just hope that they are a troll and not someone who truly has that attitude.

The inability of people to comprehend and read only want to is writ large.
I was referring to the general prison population, not the sexual offenders specigfically. My point clearly said that as someone who works with offenders, prisons serve to both punish and rehabilitate, and as such, as a prison employee, they have a role to play in this.
Public sector staff deal with all sorts of shitty people, and while they may have personal opinions on such people, as professionals, they are supposed to rise above these and do their job.

And, for clarity, my post contained this:
'All of this is not to say I support the actions of such people, just disgusted by your attitude'
@Trulyme @FuckTheClubUp

Carry on misunderstanding despite explanations and the obvious fact that you have not read the whole of the post.
Again, for clarity in face of complete obtuseness, the post concluded with:
'All of this is not to say I support the actions of such people, just disgusted by your attitude'

You replied once to me and funnily enough the entire thread isn’t all about you (no matter how much you try and make it be).

The fact that you were judging myself and other posters on their spellings, told me all I needed to know.

As I said I’ve worked and still work with prisoners and I am part of the rehabilitation process, because I truly believe it can work and I have a lot of sympathy for prisoners.
But not for peados.

Unfortunately, they are just part of working in a prison like rapists are, and although I don’t care for them, I am professional and respectful because that is my job.

It does not mean that I’m going to suddenly condone what they’ve done, simply because I work with them.

You will not find any prison staff who does not despise their actions and who would worry about coming across as unprofessional on an anonymous internet forum (or even in the staff room or around their spouse).

I’m not going to feel ashamed of my spelling or the fact that I used the word paedo or used exclamation marks, when discussing child abuse.

I read your post twice and I have no issues with comprehending the stupidity of what was written.

You know nothing about the OP other than this post. You don’t know what role they have working in a prison and you don’t know how they act/interact/treat the people who are in that prison. OP has started a thread which talks about a disgusting topic, of course they’re allowed to show judgement to any sexual abusers who are in their care.

they are supposed to rise above these and do their job.

Taking this thread to generalise and say that this is OP’s attitude with all prisoners is an absolute reach and is based on nothing other than your assumptions. I’m not going back and forth with you. Maybe you can spend your time providing a meaningful comment which focuses on, I don’t know, the actual abusers?

I haven't referred to exclamation marks or the use of paedo

Yes we want blood, when it's child rape or murder. I don't see that as a problem

They won't be named as the child's right to anonymity is paramount, as well as other children in the family. When they are released, they will presumably be on the sex offenders register and subject to conditions including employment and contact with children. They will probably still live in fear of anyone finding out about their convictions so hopefully won't have a peaceful existence.

YABVU

Victims of sexual crimes are - rightly - entitled to lifelong anonymity in law. Where that anonymity would be lost by naming their abusers, the abusers should not be named. Within family abuse, this will often happen because naming a parent will likely identify the child. The child’s welfare and rights must be paramount.

It has absolutely nothing to do with protecting abusers and everything to do with protecting victims.

@FuckTheClubUp it is the job though. Same as a doctor would need to put emotion to one side and treat a SO patient the same way they would anyone else. Its one of the shitty and difficult parts of the job. Op has explained that she deals with that by compartmentalising. If you couldn't do that then fair enough - just don't do that job then. But equally don't judge those of us who are in jobs that we try to do professionally and with integrity that naturally bring us into contact with people who've done awful things.

YABVU

What these people did were awful, but in naming them the victim she will immediately be identified by all the parents at school, on their street and local community.

Peoples right to shout “pedo” on the street does not trump the rights and safety of a child who has already been through hell. Don’t think that the movements of child sex offenders go unmonitored either - when they are released they will be observed so closely that probation and/or children’s services will know if they get into a relationship with someone with children

@Trulyme why don’t you stop laying into Vestible? You made a goady, controversial post and people are entitled to disagree with you. When all’s said and done, I remain concerned that you say you still work with offenders as one day, your true opinions are going to reveal themselves, and it won’t be pretty.

Speak for yourself. I don’t want blood, I want effective sentencing, rehabilitation where appropriate and a bigger focus on prevention. Above all I want a safe working environment for HMPPS staff and a standard of dignity for people in prison.

But equally don't judge those of us who are in jobs that

What are you even talking about? Who’s judging you? Who cares about you? The thread is about naming the abusers, that’s all.

If you don’t want to judge a child abuser that you have no contact with and don’t know in real life, all because of what you do professionally, then fine. Some of us want their heads on a stick - prison worker or not.

You’d really think OP started this thread to say, ‘AIBU to spit in this prisoner’s food everyday because he/she is a child abuser.’ My God, if no one can post a link to an article to an anonymous forum then wtf can they do. The fact that this thread was created, does not mean the OP is unprofessional in her role? Does the thread make her judgement of the people mentioned in the article? Absolutely.

If you choose to not judge sexual abusers (that you have absolutely no interaction with) because of your profession, please go to hell. Bye

Thanks, @WinterMorn I was begining to think I was going potty!

Not at all 🙂. I don’t like the tone that some of the comments are taking and I don’t see why any contrary opinion is ripped apart with the usual ‘paedo lover’ trope.

@Trulyme sorry pal, I've read the thread but not the article. I accidentally clicked on this thread in trending or I'd have avoided it due to the TW. (Touch of pnd so I'm a bit delicate atm!)

I've worked as a carer with men who were child sex offenders, being a very low paid job requiring no skill they were simply known to the staff as noncey Jim or something as catchy.

I did a night shift with a man lots of the staff hated due to him being found guilty of child rape in his younger days. He died that shift and I sat with him. He wanted to talk about it. So we talked. Basically he was a man with learning disabilities and he started a romantic relationship with someone who seemed to get him after being the village idiot (in the 60s this was) Anyway, the relationship he'd found himself in was with a girl of 11. Her father almost killed him.
It always felt so odd to me, caring for this man. I knew what he'd done and I was also a csa victim, but I really don't think that it was something he did out of a predilection for children, he was just a very intellectually challenged man. It really tore me up inside how much I liked him. I'm glad he died with me, holding his hand. We discussed his fear of hell for what he had done. He was aware.
I did all I could to stop his fears and even stayed a few hours after my shift ended as he wasn't liked by anyone else really. I didn't want to leave him to die alone and scared. He died with as much peace and comfort I could give him. It was terribly sad and always felt conflicting to soothe the fear of hell to a man who raped a wee girl. But I did it. I always felt like I'd betrayed that child if I'm honest. But maybe not showing this man kindness in his last hours and just doing the bare bones of my Job knowing he was so frightened could have haunted me more? I'm not sure.

I'm not saying I'd have ever sat there taunting a dying person about impending hell (not usually, anyway) but I really did feel the weight of his worries that night.

I don't really know why I've shared this, but the fact is, even if we hate what people have done, even if we hate them I guess, sometimes I suppose when someone who's done something so grotesque is at their most vulnerable and frightened, not giving them any empathy or comfort just seems completely devoid of humanity.

Working with people who've committed atrocities towards children, women and animals really does mess with one's peace, I found.

Lwrenn 🌷

Except that judging people that you're working with, supporting and keeping safe because of what theyve done is problematic. Because in those types of jobs you are required to provide consistency of care. If you're being judgemental and not addressing that then over time that can absolutely affect your ability to provide consistency of care, or you just burn out.

Your response to the other poster "Disgusting and judgemental attitude to those in your care?’ Just to confirm, we’re talking about people who abuse children right? Not someone who stole a car or something like that? Your whole post is madness" does show judgement to people who have to shut that part of themselves down in order to do their job.

Believe me I understand the rage and anger on this thread but comments like the ones you've posted are coming across as attacking others who are trying to express a different perspective.

Oh FGS OP leave @VestibuleVirgin alone.

I agree with everyone of her posts and if you do in fact work in the prison service your inability to be impartial is deeply alarming.