TW child SA!! Name these people?

[Trulyme]

Trigger warning!!
Child sexual abuse/rape.

I have been reading the following news article and it’s absolutely vile!

Any peadophilia is awful but it makes it feel somehow worse when a parent, who is meant to protect their child, is the one abusing them/facilitating it.

Fortunately, it sounds as though this little girl wasn’t physically harmed and they were caught before any physical contact took place.

But AIBU to think that the mum and her lover should be named and shamed?

I understand that the child’s identity needs protecting but these people are horrific and not being named is protecting them.

Why should they get to have an easy life and pretend to have been sent to prison for something else, when they are the awful human beings.

What to you think?
Should they be named and shamed or is it right that their names aren’t given to protect the child?

https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/mum-planned-drug-daughter-aged-9282295?utm_source=cornwall_live_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Cornwall+Live+-+Truro+Live+Newsletter_newsletter&utm_content=&utm_term=&ruid=805772e0-79b8-496a-abb0-3f10b9b8f07c

What would be "fair" then?

I think its fair to say the childs life is ruined regardless of the extent of the CSA.

But it’s repeatedly been spelled out that it’s not primarily about the offenders having an easier life, it’s rightly about the victim not having a worse one.

Everything reported is online now and stays online in one form or another. Local people may know who this child is, but they have the chance of moving away and not having this follow and blight their life being public knowledge in perpetuity.

Surely you see and agree with that.

Good on that random woman for handing his phone in!

If you've worked in prisons, I'm stunned you use the word 'peados'. Totally inappropriate.

This was your contribution to this thread.

You got offended because I used the word ‘paedos’ and felt it was ‘totally inappropriate’ because it’s not politically correct.

If you had actually said something worthwhile, then I would have discussed it with you, as this is what this forum is for and I started it to hear other people’s opinions.

But picking me up on not being politically correct enough, (or like PPs on my punctuation or spelling) is just so fucking stupid.

Finding out their dad was a paedophile combined with being known as "that paedo's kid" once the local paper got hold of it was enough to make a friend of mine attempt suicide.

No one can fix what was done to this poor little girl, but they can protect her from being "that paedo's kid".

Please re-read my post. At no time did I mention 'feeling sorry' for such men. As a victim of step-parent SA, i am more than qualified to have an opinion as to whether rehab works or not. And if you actually read the post, I am referring to your attitude to prisoners in general, not specifically saxual abusers.
So, before you 'worry about what kind of poster I am' and that I am defending yhe actions of sexual offenders, then please do fuck right off and try to comprehend what I was saying.
Btw, i was a nurse, so as well as personal experience of sa, i have cared for such people

@Trulyme do you really not understand the points repeatedly being made here, or are you deliberately being obtuse?

No, it is not: look it up

paedophile noun [ C ] UK (US pedophile)UK /ˈpiː.də.faɪl/ US  

You've used the phrase 'politically correct' a few times now. I explained why it wasn't about that, politely. You think saying that is a gotcha that somehow my woke, leftie, politically correct nonsense is wrong because you call it that. That might work when you talk to idiots, but I'm not 'fucking stupid'. So you should explain why punishing offenders by publishing their names is more important than child protection.

I was relying on the other intelligent posters to repeatedly address your total lack of understanding of the reason for anonymity. Which they have. You still aren't listening though.

Yes absolutely and I do agree with that.

As she gets older then it’s up to her to decide whether to give out the identity of her mum and lover.

My initial reaction was that why should these people get away with it but thanks to the few sensible/non trolling posters like yourself, I have thought straight and realised that even though it’s so unfair that they get to hide their identity, it is what’s best for the victim who is the most important person at the end of the day.

I have had my own experiences of this as a child and felt cheated because my abusers got to walk around without any judgement and I saw it in many of the men I used to work with too, most of which reoffended as soon as they got out.

But that is my own experiences clouding my judgement, which isn’t fair and as you say with the internet now, then there is literally no getting away from it.

I have had my own experiences of this as a child and felt cheated because my abusers got to walk around without any judgement and I saw it in many of the men I used to work with too, most of which reoffended as soon as they got out.

I'm very sorry that happened to you and understand the anger.

Again, read the post. I was referring to the fact thatcthe point of prison was both punishment and rehab for all prisoners.
I can assure you, as someone who was abused as a child, i do not look 'kindly' upon them

You cannot rehabilitate a nonce! They will always be one!!

I was waiting someone to say this…..you win!

That’s very sad!

What it has reminded me of is my neighbour who was abused from birth to around 8 by her stepdad.

She was never bullied because of it and in fact everyone was extra nice to her because of what she went through. But she was always known for that and even if she didn’t have all of the trauma from the abuse, she would have never had a normal life because we all knew and treated her differently because of it.

My friend wasn't bullied for it either, but he knew people knew and fretted that they thought he was like his dad and would turn out to be a predator.

I appreciate that, thank you.

I have never acted unprofessionally at work (I went home and cried a few times or spent too long in the shower).

I wouldn’t have worked in prisons if I couldn’t act professionally.
I still work with offenders now but not in an actual prison.

But out of work I do use non politically correct terms like peados because that’s what they are and it is almost a flippant remark that I don’t need to overthink.

In every prison I’ve worked in, all of the staff use the word paedos and paedophiles to describe them (when not around other prisoners) and no one has ever said it was inappropriate or unprofessional.

@Trulyme it’s always going to be a problem as to what to do with these people. The law isn’t perfect, but hopefully they won’t be getting off scott free, both the mother and her boyfriend of sorts are on trial for serious offences. They may not be handed the sentences and punishment we’d like but in our country we attempt to seek recognition, reeducation and rehabilitation along with a loss of liberty and many years marked on the SA register.
Careers, homes, family and friends will be lost as a consequence.

Sometimes we have to settle for the best ‘reasonable’ outcome and if lesser shame for the guilty, protects the innocent, then so be it. I don’t think you or me knowing names would make a bit of difference.

That will teach you for spelling something incorrectly or using a lot of !!!!! Lol honestly it's a joke on here sometimes

So sorry, @BirthdayRainbow You are correct. Je suis un idiot!! I added an extra l and didn't see it myself!

Off to eat worms....

OF COURSE they shouldn’t be named because that would be a massive breach of the child’s right to anonymity. Why should a child have to live with everyone knowing this happened to them, just so people can have their prurient curiosity satisfied?

What do you want to do? Look them up on Facebook and gawp at their profiles and try to figure out who their families are and where their siblings work? What do you gain from knowing these people’s names?

Yes you are absolutely right.

I am proud of our country because we do take things like this more seriously than some other countries do.

And the victim/child is the most important person here and what is best for them should be the only thing that matters.

🤣🤣 I know!

I did not think a thread about child abuse would have posters judging my spelling or punctuation.

I guess that what Mumsnet is now.
I forgot how batshit it was sometimes.

Perhaps that will teach you not to be so rude to other posters when they misspell a word.

Not everyone on here has English as their first language, are perfect spellers, have English as the predictive text or just aren’t perfect all of the time.

when the OP says she's worked in prisons I suspect she means she "worked" in the prison she "or maybe it's a he" was in, iykwim? ;)