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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the vacuousness of some young girls nowadays?

440 replies

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 20:45

I find it so sad. 12 year olds obsessed by beauty brands, TikTok, doing their hair for school, fake tan, ridiculously short school skirts, it all seems so sad. And they are clones. Room in their heads only for brands

i know this is not all of them.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
saltinesandcoffeecups · 13/05/2024 21:28

Exasperateddonut · 13/05/2024 21:21

Ahh the sweet days of sun in, body glitter, hair mascara and impulse. Let’s not forget Benetton hot and cold. Transparent rucksacks, those black necklaces with yin and Yang pendants.

To top it all off, ‘position of the fortnight’ and MSN chat rooms - both of which make me shudder now as a parent. Absolutely unacceptable.

Fond memories though!

Haha I was going to use Benetton in my example above. Never could get my mum to buy me anything out that store. By the time I was working after school my style had changed.

Garlicked · 13/05/2024 21:29

misssunshine4040 · 13/05/2024 20:56

I will happily admit I was like this as a teen 30 years go.
Skirt rolled up once I was out of my parents eye shot and make up and hair done.
It was fun! I had no money for big brands but the beauty industry wasn't as big or accessible as it is now.

Most other teen girls were the same, all fun, nothing wrong with it !

Me, too ... over 50 years ago 😂 I think I stole my first eyeshadow aged 13. Actually, it's all flooding back - it was a Number 17 pearly blue from Boots in Birmingham!

Perfume had to be Kiku in the yellow plastic ball. I used Neutrogena skin cream, but my friends were slapping on the Elizabeth Arden. I blackmailed my mother to buy me some Mary Quant shoes; I also had the iconic Quant belt with a daisy buckle, a Quant skirt and a second-hand Quant dress with black and white quarters. As soon as Biba launched we were all obsessed with it, regularly skiving off school to go to the shop in London. All my makeup was Biba.

The social media was all on paper (magazines, newsletters) and phone calls (Other people want to use the phone, you know! Hang up and help your mother!) A gaggle of teenagers poring over a copy of Petticoat was not much different to a gaggle of teenagers glued to TikTok 😆

ChristmasGutPunch · 13/05/2024 21:29

I think parents in general have so much more money than they did in the 80s/90s. Creates terrible pressure.
And it's not ok any more to say no, you can't.

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:29

Around here the pressure is to be “sexy” body con, cut outs, full slap

For children

OP posts:
60andsomething · 13/05/2024 21:29

AGirlWithAHandOnHerArm · 13/05/2024 21:10

My 12 year old daughter is into her skincare brands and really looks after her skin (a lot of that is my influence).

How does that make her vacuous? She’s a clever, well travelled girl (top set at school) - her love of skin care brands is one aspect of her personality. She’s also a musician and talented writer….. it’s not as depressing as you think it is.

I am sure she is lovely, but it is deeply depressing that she has been suckered in to believing she need "skin care". of course she doesn't, and I am saddened that any mothers caught in this trap themselves deem it appropriate to pass the oppression on to their daughters.

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:29

Garlicked · 13/05/2024 21:29

Me, too ... over 50 years ago 😂 I think I stole my first eyeshadow aged 13. Actually, it's all flooding back - it was a Number 17 pearly blue from Boots in Birmingham!

Perfume had to be Kiku in the yellow plastic ball. I used Neutrogena skin cream, but my friends were slapping on the Elizabeth Arden. I blackmailed my mother to buy me some Mary Quant shoes; I also had the iconic Quant belt with a daisy buckle, a Quant skirt and a second-hand Quant dress with black and white quarters. As soon as Biba launched we were all obsessed with it, regularly skiving off school to go to the shop in London. All my makeup was Biba.

The social media was all on paper (magazines, newsletters) and phone calls (Other people want to use the phone, you know! Hang up and help your mother!) A gaggle of teenagers poring over a copy of Petticoat was not much different to a gaggle of teenagers glued to TikTok 😆

This is so different

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 13/05/2024 21:30

Ah in my day is was Anais Anais and shimmer lipstick from the market - we had no social media but still had trends - Kicker Shoes and Lacost jumpers especially!

I have 3 girls - once is like me and doesn't do make up

2 are very into it - my eldest DD would fit your 'vacuous' label - never leaves the house without full make up and fake tan - she's worked since she was 15 and is now at a RG Uni studying politics and aiming for the Foreign Office - she has acne and due to her anxiety can't have the treatment that might work - her make up and fake tan give her confidence and make her happy.

Her younger sister loves make up - watches videos, buys the products - it's an art for for her - she is 15 and looks amazing - she now gets sent products to try on Tik Tok as well as clothes and stuff - her care aim is social media/marketing so it's good work experience!

My middle child also looks amazing make up free with her tattoos and wolf cut!

Theothername · 13/05/2024 21:30

I couldn’t disagree with you more,

Every generation of girls and women since the beginning of recorded time has had some version of this.

The way in which girls bond is always denigrated. Yet we create deep, lasting, life long connections.

The way girls speak is criticised despite us being powerful and nuanced communicators.

Girls’ concerns are always dismissed as less than. Yet in the last two centuries, in the west, we have seen profound social change on the back of women’s issues.

Right now it’s skin care and TikTok, but that’s just the surface. The nuance of relationships and connection runs so much deeper. As early teens there’s a deep dive into group identity, and from that giddy wave will emerge another powerful generation of women.

If you think it’s about the length of a skirt, or a skincare trend you’re profoundly missing what’s happening.

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:30

Teenagers now wouldn’t countenance no. 17

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 13/05/2024 21:30

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:21

But this is not what I’m seeing. Discussions are ONLY about the brands etc

Brands are interesting. Young women, teens etc can dress in primark/shein, but the boys are kitted out in brands, nike, under armour, hugo boss etc. Girls put brands on their face. It's clever advertising that adults get sucked in by, so of course children are also going to want them. As said vacuous etc is always used towards women who like makeup etc. There is a very sexist slant on the use of language, it's aim is to reinforce the idea of silliness etc. Not like men and their important hobbies and spending habbits. In the COL crisis the betting shops and the rough arse pubs aren't going out of business.

Bellsandthistle · 13/05/2024 21:30

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:29

Around here the pressure is to be “sexy” body con, cut outs, full slap

For children

And who are you angry at for this? The teenagers??

twistyizzy · 13/05/2024 21:30

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:21

But this is not what I’m seeing. Discussions are ONLY about the brands etc

My DD is 12 and watches You Tube videos about how to apply make up. Interested in beauty brands but not obsessed. Isnt allowed snapchat or tik tok.
She is top set in all subjects ast school, sings in the school choir, is a highly competent horse rider, obsessed with classics + history and volunteers for the local Youth Council.
Stop judging on 1 very small snapshot.

When I was her age I rolled my skirt up much higher than she does and was obsessed with music magazines, shit make up etc. I now have a PhD.

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:31

Theothername · 13/05/2024 21:30

I couldn’t disagree with you more,

Every generation of girls and women since the beginning of recorded time has had some version of this.

The way in which girls bond is always denigrated. Yet we create deep, lasting, life long connections.

The way girls speak is criticised despite us being powerful and nuanced communicators.

Girls’ concerns are always dismissed as less than. Yet in the last two centuries, in the west, we have seen profound social change on the back of women’s issues.

Right now it’s skin care and TikTok, but that’s just the surface. The nuance of relationships and connection runs so much deeper. As early teens there’s a deep dive into group identity, and from that giddy wave will emerge another powerful generation of women.

If you think it’s about the length of a skirt, or a skincare trend you’re profoundly missing what’s happening.

My worry is precisely that brands is all they can discuss

Some girls

First hand experience

OP posts:
Brexile · 13/05/2024 21:31

YANBU, although most 12 year olds weren't exactly highbrow in the 80s either. Vast amounts of hairspray and very short school skirts were definitely a thing. Tiktok obviously wasn't, but we had TOTP and some pretty unedifying teen magazines. I was nerdier and more bookish than most, but we all shrugged when our teacher wheeled in the huge wood-veneered TV and showed us the previous night's newsreel footage of the Berlin Wall falling. So a wall got demolished, big deal! 😂

AngelsWithSilverWings · 13/05/2024 21:32

At 12 years old I could send anyone to sleep by endlessly taking about how much I loved Spandau Ballet and how I was going to marry Tony Hadley. Make up came later as I wasn't allowed if at 12.

I don't think any of us were particularly interesting at 12 years old.

My DD wasn't allowed fake tan at 12 but it didn't stop her using her pocket money to buy some and turning herself orange overnight. She was so angry with me for not pointing out how orange she was before she left for school. She never went near the stuff again after the day of ridicule she endured.

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:32

Bellsandthistle · 13/05/2024 21:30

And who are you angry at for this? The teenagers??

The world.

And teenagers for accepting this, I guess, a bit.

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 13/05/2024 21:32

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:29

Around here the pressure is to be “sexy” body con, cut outs, full slap

For children

And I wore short leather skirts, tall leather boots, and leather jackets with big hair and dark black eyeliner.

My mum wore micro minis, platforms, ironed her hair, and crop tops.

I’m beginning to think this a you thing and not a teenaged girl thing.

Mckypch · 13/05/2024 21:32

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:29

This is so different

It's really not, but you're so determined to feel superior...what else is going on OP? You seem unhappy.

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:32

I am sad

OP posts:
Bellsandthistle · 13/05/2024 21:33

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:32

The world.

And teenagers for accepting this, I guess, a bit.

The fact you’re angry with young girls for “accepting” sexualisation is mind-blowing.

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:34

Rail against it

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ghostyslovesheets · 13/05/2024 21:34

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:32

I am sad

But why - you are letting one aspect of teenagers lives define them - it's just a bit of them not their whole -my eldest could debate me into the ground while wearing false lashes and tan! (well she tries anyway).

CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:35

ghostyslovesheets · 13/05/2024 21:34

But why - you are letting one aspect of teenagers lives define them - it's just a bit of them not their whole -my eldest could debate me into the ground while wearing false lashes and tan! (well she tries anyway).

But that’s what’s lacking in the girls I see. Balance is fabulous.But this is just mind acceptance of mince

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CarryOnCharon · 13/05/2024 21:36

I love a debate whilst wearing false lashes and lipstick 😃

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Exasperateddonut · 13/05/2024 21:36

I’m now trying to remember the name of the lipbalm I hankered after. White tube with a black band. (Like a mini hand cream tube) Fairly sure it was found in Space NK. Early 2000’s.

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