To hate the vacuousness of some young girls nowadays?

[CarryOnCharon]

I find it so sad. 12 year olds obsessed by beauty brands, TikTok, doing their hair for school, fake tan, ridiculously short school skirts, it all seems so sad. And they are clones. Room in their heads only for brands

i know this is not all of them.

I find it interesting to theorize that this 'pressure' is attributed to social media. However, it is clear that this is a misconception because there have always been societal trends to follow. These trends are created by us and then become established in various communities.
I certainly believe becoming self-aware exacerbates these trends during the teenage years. Some grow out of it and this then becomes of less importance personally some however quite like the popularity contest and fitting in.

You can do all of that, we had and have many conversations about these things. And I am very circumspect about what I spend my own money on for my daughter. But many, perhaps most girls of 12 and 13, unless they are part of a very distinct sub-group who are the opposite extreme (they'd be known as Emos here - and they have their own challenges) at least tinker at the edges of everything described here. I think you have to pick your battles, aim for some sort of balance and put the quality of the relationship above very understandable misgivings about all of this. In other words, try and focus on the foundations and not worry too much if the house is painted a hideous orange. I have very strong feelings on all of this, I bought The Beauty Myth in hardback when it came out, but on the long and winding road of life, sometimes being your own person involves breaking away from parental norms and being like ones peers. To quote Clair in Derry Girls, "I can't be an individual on my own".

I was into Anne French make up remover, niven and shampoos that made my hair smell nice when I was a teen. We didn't have access to Korean beauty products etc that cost a fortune.

I worked from 16yo part time throughout school and uni until I was done with education and could get a full time job. I learnt the value of money from this. Do the younger generation do the same or do we as their parents give them everything because we didn't get everything?

Our children need to learn supported indepence. They should earn their spends and as soon as they can, get a part time job and manage their own money - no debt or credit cards obvs.

When they can afford it they can buy whatever beauty products they want.

Social media has a lot to answer for....

Not the children’s fault.

The adult is allowing unfettered access to the internet.

The adult is allowing the child to buy the advertised brands or is buying the advertised brands as gifts.

Make sure you are looking in the right place. It goes government ➡️ tech company ➡️ business ➡️ parent ➡️ child.

The fake glued on eyelashes are everywhere!
As long as the girls are not pressured, painting themselves up as a result of low self esteem, bullying etc and as long as the beautification is not all consuming and snobby, brand based images for social media then it could be just fun and they will grow out of it.
Kids have a lot of external influences now.

It's bad parenting. If you're encouraging or even allowing your 12 year old to put expensive chemicals on their skin, that's on you.

But I wouldn't say these kids are vacuous. At that age their minds, bodies and social dynamics are changing by the day and extremely confusing, it's no wonder that they try and latch on to something physical like make up that will help them blend in and seem "normal". Plenty of time to work through this stage and emerge as well rounded young women.

Some vacuous nostalgia, since I've been enjoying it so much! Honey,19 and Petticoat magazines from 1970-ish.

The average full-time wage in 1970 was £13 19s 10d a week for women aged 18 years and over. My Saturday job paid £1 1s if I recall correctly. Clothes were a hell of a lot more expensive, proportional to wages.

Magazine resources:
https://lizeggleston.com/
https://elegantlypapered.com/

I have a DSD of this age and it's a nightmare. She's such a lovely kid - well mannered, polite, funny - but the obsession with TikTok and make up / beauty is just unreal.

The problem we have is that her mum is very into all of that so often takes her to get her nails done, eyelashes extended, fake tan etc. We're the complete opposite but only have her half the time. We try to get her away from it all (as much as possible!), get her outdoors, walking the dogs but then she goes back to her mums and it all starts again!

I don't mind her using my (expensive!) beauty products (moisturiser, cleanser etc) if she wants to, I let her do some face masks and anything that should "help" your skin. It's the ridiculous fake everything that gets on our nerves.

As my name suggests, I am of a certain vintage. When I was 12, 3, 14 and 15 I was pretty vacuous. Rolling up the waistband of my school skirt once I was out of sight of the house until I had a proper mini. Treated Jackie magazine and everything it said as gospel. Could only talk about Davy Jones, David Cassidy et al, hardly opened a book which wasn't a text book. And now, decades later, here I am with a first class honours in English Literature, a distinguished career in the media, and a library of classics and popular modern books which I read and re-read. I'm still madly interested in beauty and style though. So, perhaps let the young teenagers be young teenagers, you really don't know what the future holds for them.

I think a lot of people are choosing to ignore the new level of narcissism we see right across the board. It’s not the same as liking Charlie perfume (1970s).

My daughter was very into make up brands, short skirts, fake tan and hair products since being 12. She also got all 8s and 9s at GCSE, 3 A* in her science and maths A levels, secured a place at a top University, spent a gap year in Italy working, volunteers at a primary school and works as a climbing instructor in her holidays. Now she is 20 she still wears fake tan and hair extensions and buys tons of clothes and she looks beautiful but is anything but vacuous.

Meh when I was 12 I was into blue mascara, ra-ra skirts, backcombing and enough hairspray to single handedly kill off the ozone. Body shop dewberry, Heather shimmer etc etc. it’s just fashion and prices that have changed.

one of my dds was full on fake tan, false eyelashes, sharpie eyebrows and bum hanger shorts. Now at uni studying nursing. Not vacuous, just teenage

I'm almost 40.

I dyed my hair, wore ridiculous amounts of makeup, followed all the trends and fads, wore skirts that were stupidly small.

I certainly wasn't vacuous.

I am very cautious regarding the use of social media and smart phone for young children. I personally limit and control these strictly for my teenagers, the youngest is just 13 and has only been allowed to use Instagram for example. TicToc is banned. The oldest is 16 and has now more or less free rein but I still remind him to take breaks from screen use. That's just part of parenting.

But OP isn't really talking about this though, she's being unpleasant and snobbish about young girls who are caught up in what is their social context and who are, to all intends and purposes, doing the best they can. If anything they are victims but OP isn't complaining about the tech industry, she chooses to belittle kids who are only finding their way in this weird world that their elders have created.

I'm wondering if OP's daughter, if she has one, is much too refined for such superficial frivolousness and as a result feels unable to bond with her peer group. This would explain why the tone of this thread is so judgmental and bitter.

I kind of agree but then that means you’re writing off a young person because they like/ enjoy appearance related hobbies (which is kind of what that is) and then that brings worthiness into it-it’s saying something someone enjoys is less worthwhile than the crafters/ readers/ sportspeople, which is horrible. My sons are all mad into gaming and at reunions/ meet ups/ on our WhatsApp groups listen to all the ‘isn’t such and such great, they just got onto x team/ they’ve just completed this race ‘ etc etc. People just look at them like ‘oh ok so you stare at a screen’ when I say they’re amazing at their gaming/ creating content etc. I think they feel like the black sheep because they’re not playing county football/ rugby etc etc but their passion is gaming and they’re great at it (even though we do have to sometimes brace ourselves against them wanting more screen times as they can be addicted)

When I was their age I was mad into make up but also an avid reader which relatives thought was great. Started writing rom coms and the amount of times I’ve had to jokingly stand up for the fact I don’t write literary fiction. Sometimes you’ve got to let people enjoy what they enjoy!!

Saying that, as with ALL teens- sporty/ gamers/ make up fiends- I think as said above they do still need to be patented and reminded of the other pleasures out there, even bribed into board game nights, hikes etc

To hate the vacuousness of some young girls

Why so emotive? Hate is a strong word. Dramatic much?😂

I'd like to know what OP's problem with young girls really is and why.

The pressures have always been there, but certainly not 24/7! What is insiduous is the huge industry that is funding social media posts and pushing products, of all types. A friend's daughter is employed to simply push client's films, cosmetics, clothing, toys, you name it, and encourage / contract with so called influencers to use, wear, endorse items that they are only seen with using because they are paid to and the sums of money involved are enormous! Her youngest influencer, obviously via parents, is 2 years of age! Yes, we followed pop groups, wore certain styles of shoes, hitched up skirts, used make up that was affordable, but certainly not into cosmetic products and skin care regimes, with chemicals that are far too harsh for young skins, or costing what they do now. It is not just young girls, they are targetting us all and for what, to sell what we rarely need and items that really do not make us happier, just those selling them to us richer!

o ffs

Heather Shimmer! Now that brings back memories 😁

What a nasty misogynist thread.

@CarryOnCharon you must be so proud of yourself

I used expensive cleansers and makeup as a teen as I had bad skin and cheap stuff irritated it so my mum bought me Estée Lauder etc. So not always vacuousness

This 100%.

Centuries ago when I was young I used to roll my school up at the waistband so that you could almost see my knickers, I was obsessed with make up and because I was a Saturday girl at Boots I often got samples as well as often wasting my wages on the stuff as I had great staff discount. I wasn't 12 of course but I was young which is essentially what that was all about. I was also reading voraciously and studying for my exams so I wasn't totally superfical. There have always been vacuous materialistic people, I think the big difference now is of course social media which means the messages, the ads and all the pressure is much faster and far more intense.

Were you ever young? @CarryOnCharon

I am a woman and remember being really into Fame when I was about six, so this was early 1980s- pink leg warmers, rara skirts, and headbands etc. Just lots of pink/pastel colours/ fluorescent colours generally. And I refused to wear trousers until I was eleven or twelve- the more twirly or frilly the skirt the better. When I was 9 my friend dressed me up and did my make up like Madonna (in the Desperately Seeking Susan phase). I remember it clearly because my mum went mad about it.

When I was eleven, so Y6 at school I got really into make up and would spend pocket money on Rimmel from the chemist.

All this while still being into "boy's stuff" like cars, trains and football. I played football and cricket on the street with the boys, wearing a skirt and trainers.

I went on to be a lawyer in a male dominated field. Vacuous smacuous.

There is probably another good thread to be started about advertising to kids, but the OP went with misogyny instead.