To hate the vacuousness of some young girls nowadays?

[CarryOnCharon]

I find it so sad. 12 year olds obsessed by beauty brands, TikTok, doing their hair for school, fake tan, ridiculously short school skirts, it all seems so sad. And they are clones. Room in their heads only for brands

i know this is not all of them.

It has always been this way, except now it’s skin care, 10 years ago it was something else and 10 years before that it was something different etc.

YABU about them being clones, it’s normal for teenagers to want to be like each other, to be part of a group and fit in. My parents were strongly against me ‘being just like everyone else’ when I was a teenager and it did me no favours, when I was young Adidas tracksuits were the ‘in’ thing, looking back of course they looked awful and chavy but really what was the harm?

You’d think this initially of dd2 who is 15 but she reads Sylvia Plath and volunteers at the old peoples home as she likes talking to them.

Definitely social media and influencers to blame here

Twas ever thus tbh. It’s adolescence scrambling their brains, most of them come out of it eventually.

Yabu they’ll grow out of it like generations before. It’s just a phase.

I guess though when I was a kid I desperately wanted Uggs because all the other kids had it. Substitute Uggs for PlayStation games/- certain items of clothing/xbox/playstation.
In the last 20 or so years (since I was 10, and spanning all my sisters and cousins growing up) there’s been “it” items every year that all the kids have. At the moment it’s fancy skincare, ridiculous really but just the current trend!

I'm pretty sure I was about 12 when I used my mums fake tan...

I also had orange foundation and spent a lot of time in the body shop or going round clothes shops.

I admit I can be pretty vacuous and I'm no solicitor but I turned out well enough.

It's just a phase that a lot of girls go through regardless of generation like boys and their hair gel or lynx.

The only problem now is social media and the promoting of expensive brands but even in the 90s brands were a thing, I was desperate for adidas trousers. No Internet to promote them but there was TV, magazines, friends...unless you live in a bubble you will always be influenced even if you don't realise it.

I don't care about vacuousness but I do care about whether they're happy. There's a big difference between a group of 12 year olds all putting on glitter eyeshadow and a 12 year girl spending an hour in the bathroom obsessing over her skin. If the skincare stuff is making them happy then fine but the whole "clean girl" aesthetic seems a bit oppressive to me.

I also agree that the exposure to advertising is way way higher than anything we experienced as teenagers. Teenagers are being live streamed highly targeted, algorithm-based marketing through their phone screens. This isn't the same as reading Cosmo or watching TV ad breaks.

Nature is getting them ready to breed and society is telling them how to attract potential mates. I think it is hormones rather than vacuousness.

YABU about them being clones, it’s normal for teenagers to want to be like each other

I pointed this out to my nan once when she said all teenagers look the same. I asked her why her and everyone woman she knew her age had the same blue rinse permed hairstyle, tan tights and tweed skirt. I didnt say it unkindly, but just pointing out that her generation also have a similar style that they all follow. She didnt have an answer. That generation is just a much a product of the fashion they had growing up as every generation does.

USA is considering banning TIK TOK I wish we would. There's something sinister about the whole app

I was obsessed with Wham, makeup, crimping my hair etc.

I went on to get a degree, have a meaningful career and am now a c suite executive.

It's just a phase.

Haven’t parents been saying similar about their teens forever?

Mean Girls came out in 2004, Clueless in 1995. Both showed vacuous, brand-obsessed over-groomed teenage girls. And have you forgotten Paris Hilton already?

Dont forget Clueless was based on Jane Austen's 'Emma' so this behaviour has actually been going on for centuries.

I absolutely model 'good values', emphasise health and well being, don't wear make up myself, always encourage exercise and hobbies etc. And I had a daughter just like yours up until about 6 months ago! Now, she is exactly as the OP bemoans and as shallow and vacuous as they come, at least on the surface (if you'll forgive the pun). I think there is a lot in what other people are saying- that she wants to fit in, that she's trying on different identities for size, that it's simply fun. These are all normal impulses, albeit monetised to the power of 100 by social media. Somewhere in there is still the girl who cared passionately about the environment and animals, who loved nothing more than hiking and camping. I am currently trying to straddle the fine line of not belittling her current 'self' while gently trying to keep the other great elements of her lit up. It's hard. I think good parenting is also about navigating the waves that come that AREN'T something you are comfortable with.

I think things started to change around that time, if not before. Current mores are just a continuum of that, just more widespread and exaggerated now.

There’s a difference between schoolgirls rolling their skirts up a little bit (like a lot of us did when we were their age) to showing their arse cheeks off to the world as they tend do today. What makes it worse is the fact that they’re more streetwise. They know there’s rapists, perverts and paedophiles around yet they still parade around with their arse cheeks on show.

Agree, but not only that @AprilMayJuniperBerry they are doing it at such a young age. But it’s so widespread now it’s become unremarkable.

I understand the point you make but growing up female is what we have special experience of.

I'm 37 and some girls were like that when I was a teen, it's not a new thing.

I bloody hope. So.
This is the source of all this brain washing, advertising, obsessions.
12 year olds will be 12 year olds and would want to fit in with what they believe other 12 year olds are doing. Nothing new.
The only issue nowadays is social media. Too much of it, not tailored to their age and the power of influencing.

@LalalaToYou

Around 1815?

Who knows. Jane Austen was one of the earlier writers from a woman's perspective. Could have been happening before but men didn't write about teenage girls.

I think it's also unbelievable and more worrying what so many teenage girls put up with from boys. It's almost a competition between them, to show how 'happy' they can make him. (By being a complete doormat)
All these influencers that glamorise the 'Wifey' role. It's 2024 FGS....

I thought they had launched that product but had to truncate the name to accommodate the discerning customers - Brut or Lynx. Tagline: 'nobody will guess you haven't been near the wash basin in a fortnight'.

@Chickychoccyegg , £50 on one product, at 12? Where do they get the money?