Friend lied about having emotional support dog.

[Otins]

A friend of mine has a dog. He is a pet. She loves him, but he is a pet. Nothing else.

She recently went on a day out to a stately home. Dogs not allowed inside.

She told them it was an emotional support dog and they let him in.

She thought it was really funny and clever to do this.

I told her that I didn’t approve - and we moved on, and it was fine.

But the more I think about it, the more it winds me up.

For transparency, I am not a dog lover (not a dog hater either) and the sense of entitlement I see from many dog owners annoys me, and I think dogs being allowed (emotional support or not) in cafes and shops is inappropriate.

Whatever happened to leaving your dog at home to snooze on the sofa while you went out?

AIBU

Yes - how does this affect you if she takes her dog into places when you’re not there.

No - she was wrong to deceive the stately home in this way.

nope. the words "emotional assistance dog" have no meaning in UK law BUT someone who has a mental impairment can be described as disabled and if they have an assistance dog, while its is expected to behave properly as laid out in the attached , they don't have to be trained to perform any actions as you describe. https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/guidance/assistance-dogs-guide-all-businesses?return-url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.equalityhumanrights.com%2Fsearch%3Fkeys%3Dassistance%2Bdogs

We have two dogs and seek out dog friendly places to go with them. Otherwise we leave them at home for a couple of hours and they are fine.
what I don’t get is dogs in supermarkets. Just recently I’ve seen two dogs being carried round the store, and they were certainly not assistance dogs.

I know lots of people got dogs during lockdown and because of the way things were, the dogs are not used to being left, but come on, supermarkets, ridiculous.

Sorry, I missed the question.

Yes, we are still friends. We go back 30 years. Im not willing to let that go for a 'first offence' This was the first time she has done it and I hope it is the last.

If it continues, well, we'll see.

Fair enough 🌺

The website you linked to says:

"Assistance dogs are not pets. They are treated as ‘auxiliary aids’."

In the case of my friend, the dog is a pet.

It also says:

"Does this guidance cover emotional support animals?

Emotional support animals (ESAs) are not defined in UK legislation. Service providers are required to make reasonable adjustments for disabled people. It is unlikely to be a reasonable adjustment for service providers to be required to give access to multiple types of ESAs, and dogs who are not trained as assistance dogs.

This does not mean that it will never be reasonable for a service provider to give access to a disabled person's emotional support dog / animal. Only the courts could decide based on the specific facts and circumstances of each case."

(I added the underline)

My friend has no mental health issues. She was away from home and couldn't leave the dog unattended in her accommodation so, rather than choose an activity where pet dogs were permitted she took him with her.

There’s a woman I see in my local supermarket who is adamant that her dog is her support dog.

She randomly yells at people, tries to pick fights with people and is always complaining to staff about anything really. The dog isn’t working obviously.

oh I am not saying that she is entitled to lie....just that assistance dogs for mental health issues are a thing.

@godmum56 - I was going to basically say what @Otins said (without the reference to her friend, obviously), that emotional support dogs aren't defined in law, but are highly unlikely to be covered by reasonable adjustments as defined in the equality act (in terms of being allowed access).

I say all of this as a disabled person with a dog that would help my mental health if he was allowed to accompany me everywhere, but he isn't, so he doesn't. I'm not refuting that assistance dogs can be for mental health issues, just that you can't just say 'it's my support dog' and the dog is allowed everywhere you want it to go.

I have what I would consider an Es dog as I actually would not go walking by myself without her but it's unfortunately not considered a thing in the UK

Same thing as those people on pip who milk if to get a new car and benefits

Some people are scummy it is what it is

I voted YANBU as she was wrong to be deceptive.

But there is nothing wrong with taking dogs where they are allowed to go.

I am a dog person, and have a lovely dog who enjoys his time at home while we go out to places that either he wouldn’t enjoy or (more often) that I just deem to be places that dogs shouldn’t be (other than guide dogs etc). These are places such as national trust properties, cafes, children’s playgrounds, visitor attractions, museums, in fact anywhere that isn’t a dog friendly beach, the coast path or a nice walk!

The rise in so called emotional support dogs has coincided with the rise in crappy dog owners who don’t know what they are doing and therefore have never trained their dogs to be happy staying at home by themselves having a snooze in their beds. All of these dogs seem to have separation anxiety, and can’t be left so the owners just drag them along to all sorts of unsuitable places. I like dogs but there is a time and a place for them, and that isn’t everywhere, all the time.

However if they are an assistance dog they should have on appropriate identifying vest. The owner should also be able to state how the dog assists and if there are any cues people around should note.

A friend's daughter has an assistance dog that provides her the cue that she is about to have a seizure.

However if they are an assistance dog they should have on appropriate identifying vest.

They don't need one though and anyone can buy them on Amazon anyway.

The owner should also be able to state how the dog assists and if there are any cues people around should note.

Asking how the dog assists is too similar to asking someone to state their disability, and that's something that's completely against our policy.

It's sadly become all too common to do this, and it causes problems for those with genuine guide or assistance dogs when these pet dogs misbehave.

There's two people just in my small town who parade about with fake "assistance" dogs in vests they've bought off eBay. One is a naughty sausage dog who's had no training whatsoever, the other is a Lhasa apso.

It really grinds my gears. I'm involved with guide dogs and I know how many owners have access problems and people faking it doesn't help.

P.S. "emotional support dog" means fuck all. Everyone's dog is an emotional support dog, we love them and they make us feel happy and relaxed apart from the naughty ones

Absolutely yanbu that's super entitled and as a dog owner and lover i would never.

Her dog could act in ways that would make things difficult for actual service dogs. Plus there is likely reasons of sustainability and protecting a heritage site that are why other dogs aren't allowed in the first place.

My guess is the person working there wasn't sure enough of where they stand on service dogs and what counts as a service dog and therfore was tricked by your friend into making a mistake in their job. Bet your friend doesn't care what happens to the staff member either.

It would really put me off someone.

Yes @ColdWaterDipper, most dogs are fine left at home to snooze. Not the whole day obviously, but a morning or afternoon is fine.

if the dog is well behaved I don't see an issue. the majority of dogs I see out in public (in shops, restaurants etc) are a lot better behaved than the vast majority of children I see at the same places.

It is an issue because not everyone wants wet dog smells in indoor places, especially with the UK’s current weather issues. Putting up with wet dog smells when a dog is performing an essential function is one thing, but….

the amount of humans in these places that stink of fags, BO and human waste is MUCH more significant than of a dog smelling from the rain. plus parents who are too lazy to change their baby's nappy so we all deal with the stench of that! its rare I notice a dog smelling near this bad in public domain

I absolutely detest animals being in food establishments.

We were sat in a pub recently when a man came in with his two boxer dogs and one of them jumped up and tried to sit on our laps.

Absolutely vile, disgusting and inhygenic. No one gave a shit either.

YANBU

Very similar form of deception, albeit a somewhat lesser scale, to the people who claim war-veteran status.

I find that real war-veterans hardly talk about war experiences to others. Similarly, REAL owners of REAL service dogs and REAL disability-aid dogs usual;y have their animals' certifications with them at all times and, if required 'dress' their animals for the service associated.

I think you are being mean and unreasonable. Who does it hurt if your friend brings her dog into a stately home or anywhere else? Personally I think the world is a better place with dogs in it and the more places they are allowed the better.

The issue is that these places just won’t open to the public if everyone starts bringing dogs because of the mess and the inevitable damage when someone wees up something .

QP’s friend is a tw*t. She thought she was being ‘funny and clever.’ It is indicative of the kind of person she is which is why the OP can’t shake it off. The person who let her in possibly didn’t believe her either.
OP was left with a bad taste in her mouth when she realised what an arsehole her friend is.