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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend lied about having emotional support dog.

235 replies

Otins · 13/05/2024 14:50

A friend of mine has a dog. He is a pet. She loves him, but he is a pet. Nothing else.

She recently went on a day out to a stately home. Dogs not allowed inside.

She told them it was an emotional support dog and they let him in.

She thought it was really funny and clever to do this.

I told her that I didn’t approve - and we moved on, and it was fine.

But the more I think about it, the more it winds me up.

For transparency, I am not a dog lover (not a dog hater either) and the sense of entitlement I see from many dog owners annoys me, and I think dogs being allowed (emotional support or not) in cafes and shops is inappropriate.

Whatever happened to leaving your dog at home to snooze on the sofa while you went out?

AIBU

Yes - how does this affect you if she takes her dog into places when you’re not there.

No - she was wrong to deceive the stately home in this way.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 14/05/2024 13:48

@Abeona you do know that this isn't your "friends" pet of course there is going to be restrictions to who this pup Can mix with your dog could injure the pup, I mean my dog sometimes shits on my garden path tbh it's easier to pick up. I think you are being over dramatic and your "friend " can hand back the pup to guide dogs at any point if they think it's unethical and cruel !

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/05/2024 13:51

It’s funny how there’s so much dog poo on the pavements if dogs find defecating on concrete so traumatic.

Youdontevengohere · 14/05/2024 13:52

Others have mentioned beagles and sniffing. I grew up with a beagle and they are scent hounds, born to sniff. All the advice is to let dogs do what they have been bred to do and that it's cruel to do otherwise

Well aware of the needs of beagles, mine is currently undergoing scent work training. My point was just that if I let her sniff as much as she wanted, we would be out walking all day. We have had breed specific training and loose lead training is essential to get her moving (after a reasonable period of sniffing). She is our third beagle, all have had breed specific training.

Youdontevengohere · 14/05/2024 13:54

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 14/05/2024 13:51

It’s funny how there’s so much dog poo on the pavements if dogs find defecating on concrete so traumatic.

Mine poos on our patio despite us having a massive lawn and small area of woodland for her to go in! Dont think she can be bothered to walk that far!

JuiceBoxJuggler · 14/05/2024 14:00

Your friend is a moron. You are not being unreasonable.

Mrsjayy · 14/05/2024 14:01

Youdontevengohere · 14/05/2024 13:52

Others have mentioned beagles and sniffing. I grew up with a beagle and they are scent hounds, born to sniff. All the advice is to let dogs do what they have been bred to do and that it's cruel to do otherwise

Well aware of the needs of beagles, mine is currently undergoing scent work training. My point was just that if I let her sniff as much as she wanted, we would be out walking all day. We have had breed specific training and loose lead training is essential to get her moving (after a reasonable period of sniffing). She is our third beagle, all have had breed specific training.

I have a spaniel so a chronic sniffer on Saturday we took him to a lovely open space so he could go off lead he spent 10 minutes sniffing a muddy puddle you just can't stand there all day and let them do what they want !

BePinkReader · 14/05/2024 14:02

I love dogs but I think some dog owners are very entitled.

I'm in my 40s and don't know when the societal switch happened where pet dogs had to be taken everywhere the owner goes.

I work in the public sector and 3 people in the last 2 years have had to be told by management it isn't appropriate for them to bring their dogs to work. And a couple were really indignant and arguing about it!

MaryFuckingFerguson · 14/05/2024 14:07

I have a friend that does this with her dachshund. He goes everywhere with her. She just says he’s an emotional support dog and so far, she’s never been challenged. He’s even been to the cinema with us.

Exloony · 14/05/2024 14:21

Abeona · 14/05/2024 13:41

Absolutely true: my friend has her guide dog puppy now and is training it per current requirements. The dogs are taught to poo on concrete only because it's easier for the owner to locate and pick up the poo (many officially blind people still have some sight) from concrete. Also lots of blind people live in flats where they may not have easy access to suitable gardens/ parks so the dogs have to get used to pooing and peeing on concrete. (For ref, most dogs naturally prefer to defecate in undergrowth or on grass)

My friend has been instructed only to socialise the dog with a small number of other guide dogs/ approved other dogs. I haven't been permitted to take my steady older dog to visit or exercise or walk with the pup. No hours of racing round the park off-lead learning to play with strange dogs and learn doggy ways. There are rules about the dog always having to walk by the side of the fosterer and not being permitted to stop to sniff or behave normally and say hello to other dogs. This is because when they are working, they must be aloof and ignore other dogs or the natural urge to sniff. Only my friend is allowed to walk the puppy. No one else in the household is allowed to take it out. So when she had pneumonia recently, the puppy didn't get a proper walk for a few days.

Others have mentioned beagles and sniffing. I grew up with a beagle and they are scent hounds, born to sniff. All the advice is to let dogs do what they have been bred to do and that it's cruel to do otherwise. Collies and beagles need loads of exercise. Beagles need to sniff. Collies need work and mental stimulation. Terriers need to be able to dig and hunt. My friend — who has had several happy, well-behaved retriever-type dogs over the years — has found it quite upsetting that her guide dog pup hasn't been able to have the relaxed, social sort of early life her previous puppies have enjoyed. She says she feels as if she's been given the job of 'breaking' the dog. She won't be volunteering for this again and she says that she'll be the first to celebrate when dogs are replaced by robots.

Again, as I have said before in previous comments, as a current Guide Dog owner so much of this is just completely untrue. It's really harmful to spread this kind of incorrect info about Guide Dogs. Please see my previous replies to your comments.

KreedKafer · 14/05/2024 14:36

I'm a massive dog lover and she was being a complete prick.

Also, emotional support dogs aren't service dogs, so they could actually have turned her away anyway. Dogs that are trained to perform a task the handler can't do (such as guiding a visually person, alerting a hearing impaired person to a fire alarm, helping someone physically disabled with tasks like picking things up and carrying things, or alerting a person that they might be about to have a seizure) are service dogs and have to be allowed into places for accessibility. Emotional support dogs don't have to have any training and are just there to provide comfort/confidence/calmness to someone. Anyone can claim their dog is an emotional support dog. It doesn't entitle them to bring the dog into places where only service animals are allowed, because they are not service animals.

KreedKafer · 14/05/2024 14:44

Abeona · 14/05/2024 13:41

Absolutely true: my friend has her guide dog puppy now and is training it per current requirements. The dogs are taught to poo on concrete only because it's easier for the owner to locate and pick up the poo (many officially blind people still have some sight) from concrete. Also lots of blind people live in flats where they may not have easy access to suitable gardens/ parks so the dogs have to get used to pooing and peeing on concrete. (For ref, most dogs naturally prefer to defecate in undergrowth or on grass)

My friend has been instructed only to socialise the dog with a small number of other guide dogs/ approved other dogs. I haven't been permitted to take my steady older dog to visit or exercise or walk with the pup. No hours of racing round the park off-lead learning to play with strange dogs and learn doggy ways. There are rules about the dog always having to walk by the side of the fosterer and not being permitted to stop to sniff or behave normally and say hello to other dogs. This is because when they are working, they must be aloof and ignore other dogs or the natural urge to sniff. Only my friend is allowed to walk the puppy. No one else in the household is allowed to take it out. So when she had pneumonia recently, the puppy didn't get a proper walk for a few days.

Others have mentioned beagles and sniffing. I grew up with a beagle and they are scent hounds, born to sniff. All the advice is to let dogs do what they have been bred to do and that it's cruel to do otherwise. Collies and beagles need loads of exercise. Beagles need to sniff. Collies need work and mental stimulation. Terriers need to be able to dig and hunt. My friend — who has had several happy, well-behaved retriever-type dogs over the years — has found it quite upsetting that her guide dog pup hasn't been able to have the relaxed, social sort of early life her previous puppies have enjoyed. She says she feels as if she's been given the job of 'breaking' the dog. She won't be volunteering for this again and she says that she'll be the first to celebrate when dogs are replaced by robots.

I'm sorry, but this is bollocks. I live opposite a massive park and there are guide dog puppy walkers and trainers who literally take the dogs there to socialise them and give them off-lead exercise. And they can shit wherever they like (although most dogs are more than happy to shit on concrete; my sister's dog always chose to do her business on their patio instead of the grass).

DiddyRa · 14/05/2024 17:42

KreedKafer · 14/05/2024 14:36

I'm a massive dog lover and she was being a complete prick.

Also, emotional support dogs aren't service dogs, so they could actually have turned her away anyway. Dogs that are trained to perform a task the handler can't do (such as guiding a visually person, alerting a hearing impaired person to a fire alarm, helping someone physically disabled with tasks like picking things up and carrying things, or alerting a person that they might be about to have a seizure) are service dogs and have to be allowed into places for accessibility. Emotional support dogs don't have to have any training and are just there to provide comfort/confidence/calmness to someone. Anyone can claim their dog is an emotional support dog. It doesn't entitle them to bring the dog into places where only service animals are allowed, because they are not service animals.

They aren’t service dogs in the uk. They are assistance dogs.

Mimimimi1234 · 14/05/2024 17:55

In theory this is wrong and takes it away from people that do need assistance dogs. In reality I wouldnt bother myself with my friends antics and let it go. Life is too short.

Abeona · 14/05/2024 18:10

KreedKafer · 14/05/2024 14:44

I'm sorry, but this is bollocks. I live opposite a massive park and there are guide dog puppy walkers and trainers who literally take the dogs there to socialise them and give them off-lead exercise. And they can shit wherever they like (although most dogs are more than happy to shit on concrete; my sister's dog always chose to do her business on their patio instead of the grass).

I bet they're not just allowing their guide dogs to mix and play with other dogs. It will be regulated, controlled socialisation with a few chosen dogs and the dogs given only short periods off the lead. Or otherwise they're not sticking to the training guidelines. Perhaps that's why 30% of guide dog puppies don't qualify.

Exloony · 14/05/2024 19:00

Abeona · 14/05/2024 18:10

I bet they're not just allowing their guide dogs to mix and play with other dogs. It will be regulated, controlled socialisation with a few chosen dogs and the dogs given only short periods off the lead. Or otherwise they're not sticking to the training guidelines. Perhaps that's why 30% of guide dog puppies don't qualify.

Again, rubbish. My working Guide Dog has an hour + off lead 3-5 times a week, running around playing with other mostly unknown dogs in the park. As do all the other Guide Dogs I know.

VestibuleVirgin · 14/05/2024 19:03

@Otins You didn't answer the quesrion; are you still friends with this fibber?

Ilovecleaning · 14/05/2024 19:22

PlaySuitHelp · 13/05/2024 14:54

Emotional support dogs are not a thing in the UK. Assistance Dogs however are legally allowed in places such as the stately home.

You say no dogs should be allowed, emotional support or not. Does that mean no Guide Dogs? Assistance Dogs is a term that covers Guide Dogs, as well as many other dogs that support disabled people. It is vital that they be allowed whether you like it or not.

However, you are definitely NOT being unreasonable with your friend. It is so wrong to pretend a dog is an Assistance Dog.

Of COURSE she doesn’t mean Guide dogs and Assistance Dogs.

pineapplesundae · 14/05/2024 19:31

The person who let her in is probably a dog person. Many people are. You are overly concerned about this because you don’t like dogs. However, dogs bring a great deal of joy to many people and for those people it’s always nice to have them around. Try not to worry about it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/05/2024 19:40

GoldMerchant · 13/05/2024 14:54

She's unreasonable because her dog is not trained to the standards of actual disability support dogs. So when dogs like hers are allowed in and behave like normal pet dogs, it makes it harder for people with e.g. guide dogs, hearing dogs. And those people have a tough enough time from people who don't know the law.

This really. She’s making it harder for those with genuine disabilities.

Hmm1234 · 14/05/2024 20:26

You obviously don’t understand not being a pet owner and the dog may really be her emotional support dog. I have told the same to a local supermarket because my dog genuinely helps with my anxiety in new places but no he doesn’t have the right paperwork. Get over it

Rockhopper81 · 14/05/2024 20:54

As previously stated, emotional support animals aren't a thing in the UK - only assistance dogs need to be recognised by places as a legal requirement. Assistance dogs are trained to do specific tasks for their handler, not provide emotional support.

I say this as a dog owner, who loves their dog and frequently takes them to dog friendly shops/cafes/pubs, but would never dream of claiming he's an assistance dog (even though he does help my mental health), because I wouldn't screw over people who genuinely need assistance dogs like that.

godmum56 · 14/05/2024 20:56

Rockhopper81 · 14/05/2024 20:54

As previously stated, emotional support animals aren't a thing in the UK - only assistance dogs need to be recognised by places as a legal requirement. Assistance dogs are trained to do specific tasks for their handler, not provide emotional support.

I say this as a dog owner, who loves their dog and frequently takes them to dog friendly shops/cafes/pubs, but would never dream of claiming he's an assistance dog (even though he does help my mental health), because I wouldn't screw over people who genuinely need assistance dogs like that.

Mental health support dogs are allowed. They don't have to do specific tasks in the same way that eg a hearing dog does. The words are different but the concept is the same.

Rockhopper81 · 14/05/2024 20:57

godmum56 · 14/05/2024 20:49

well if she lied she lied but dogs who support people's mental health are allowed in law and do not need ID, tags, coats or other labels https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/guidance/assistance-dogs-guide-all-businesses

Yes, if they're an assistance dog - they might be trained to alert to panic attacks about to happen, or to provide deep pressure therapy in event of crisis, or other tasks to assist their handler in accessing places. They are not dogs merely for emotional support - they are assistance dogs with a job to do. They also need to be trained to a suitable standard to provide this assistance, as well as being very well-behaved.

PlaySuitHelp · 14/05/2024 21:00

Ilovecleaning · 14/05/2024 19:22

Of COURSE she doesn’t mean Guide dogs and Assistance Dogs.

Yes, you are right. The OP explained this to me and I apologised as it was hard to read from the original post whether they meant that.

As an aside, Guide Dogs come under the umbrella of Assistance Dogs (ie they're a type of Assistance Dog).