Friend lied about having emotional support dog.

[Otins]

A friend of mine has a dog. He is a pet. She loves him, but he is a pet. Nothing else.

She recently went on a day out to a stately home. Dogs not allowed inside.

She told them it was an emotional support dog and they let him in.

She thought it was really funny and clever to do this.

I told her that I didn’t approve - and we moved on, and it was fine.

But the more I think about it, the more it winds me up.

For transparency, I am not a dog lover (not a dog hater either) and the sense of entitlement I see from many dog owners annoys me, and I think dogs being allowed (emotional support or not) in cafes and shops is inappropriate.

Whatever happened to leaving your dog at home to snooze on the sofa while you went out?

AIBU

Yes - how does this affect you if she takes her dog into places when you’re not there.

No - she was wrong to deceive the stately home in this way.

We meed an official registration for emotional support dogs. I know someone who has one and he is going through the tests for paperwork etc, to get him registered. People like your friend are abusing a system set up for people who have MH/disabilities. It's one step over parking in a disabled place.

Emotional support dogs are basically pets, so she didn't really lie.

I'd prefer a donkey.

Your friend behaved entirely unreasonably, so YANBU. However it’s entirely up to the owners of the cafes/restaurants etc as to whether they allow/encourage dogs (and obviously completely up to you as to whether you decide to frequent the establishment based on that).

Of course she lied.

She doesn't use it/need it for emotional support.

No they aren't.
https://www.esaorguk.com/

They might not be happy, just trying to avoid a scene/one star reviews on Trip Advisor.

I just saw that. The stately home should have asked for proof

What the hell is an emotional support dog?

I am convinced a little more each day that humans are making themselves so feeble, that we are on the road to extinction.

Let's leave aside all those for whom an assistance dog of one sort or another is an essential way of being able to manage their disability or other condition. We all know how vital they are.

Anyone else who is so emotionally attached to their furbaby that they lie their way into a stately home with the animal is... well... barking.

Also unfair on people who hate dogs

I'm OK with guide dogs, as I understand the need for them, but fed up of people's pets everywhere

Exactly, they don't do specific tasks or anything, just hang around with the owner. A pet.

I believe it is possible to get assistance dogs for disabilities that are not blindness; there's dogs for people with autism, deafness, physical disabilities and some mental health conditions.

Is it possible she's using the American term and it is an assistance dog?

A friend of mine who has quite severe mental illness has an assistance dog.

more fool the stately home for allowing her in with the dog.

But aren’t all pet dogs emotional support dogs? There is no licence/test/proof that an animal is an emotional support animal? I wouldn’t have an issue with it but would expect the owner to show proof of a disability? My dd has Autism and of taking a dog out with us helped it would make life so much easier, sadly she doesn’t really respond to dogs. If someone gets bad anxiety and a dog helps keep them calm then it can make life much more manageable.

It doesn’t really bother me if people take dogs places as long as they are under control and are cleaned up after but obviously there are people that would prefer to go somewhere that doesn’t have dogs and their are people who are scared or allergic to them.

All dogs are emotional support dogs but that doesn’t mean they should get the same rights and genuine, trained, assistance dogs.

What sort of mental health issue would you need an emotional support dog for, in order to facilitate walking around a stately home?

Having recently returned from a visit to the US, I was stunned by how many support dogs I saw in tourist attractions.
The various harnesses they wore clearly stated they were assistance dogs, but their behaviour, yapping, lead pulling etc. bears no relation to the guide dogs/"dogs for good"we are used to seeing in the UK/EU.
On the surface at least, it seems the concept of emotional support animals is being abused.

Stately homes are full of artworks, precious ornaments, fragile textiles and centuries-old furniture. Not exactly the ideal environment for animals, what with their fleas, shedding hair, unexpected crapping, and leg-cocking.

I don't think dogs should be allowed in at all unless they are absolutely essential, such as a well-trained guide dog, a hearing dog for the deaf, or as a companion for someone with ASD or other severe condition. Not just any old dog, just because the owner doesn't want to leave their precious at home.

This woman was taking the bloody piss.

If they are taking people's word on the notion that it's an emotional support dog, then it's more an error on their part than hers. She chanced it. Surely they need a certificate or an official tabard or something?!
I have to say it would be chaos if everyone decided to pull that one. Surely dogs can play in the grounds of the home, and maybe sit outdoors at the cafe. That should be enough really. Why would she want her dog traipsing about staring at a load of antique furniture, probably risking he could cock his leg on all of it!

Most pets fulfil some emotional need or another, in some way. Some not, I guess, but most people have pets because they enjoy the companionship, or it makes them feel less lonely, or they feel happier or more contented when they're cuddling or stroking or caring for their animal, or they like having a bond with an animal, or someone who'll always welcome them home, or they like to feel needed and loved, or they feel their animal understands them or connects with them in a special way, or they feel good when they see their pets playing with each other, or they have them because they like observing their pets' relationships with each other and with themselves and seeing how similar animals can be to humans in some ways, but different — or (on a darker note) maybe they like having a sentient being that's weaker than them that they can take their frustrations out on… or all kinds of bloody things. Having pets can be very emotionally rewarding.

Even setting aside grifters like OP's friend, I can't see how an "emotional support animal" is functionally/qualitatively different to a pet. Lots of people e.g. cuddle and stroke their dog when they're feeling down, and it makes them feel better. It's a quantitative difference, maybe, in how much someone draws on their relationship with their pet to help them emotionally.

Well, okay, if someone has a difficulty or a disability that means they struggle to cope without their pet in places where pets aren't normally allowed, then fine, let's talk about whether we as a society should make an exception for those people to facilitate them being accompanied by their pet.

But in that case it would be the person who should be considered for an exception, not the animal. The animal is nothing special — it's a pet, fulfilling the main purpose of a pet. It might even have great toilet training and be exceptionally calm and well-behaved (or TBH it might not), and the person might feel radically more able to cope emotionally if they know they've got their animal friend with them, but that doesn't magically make it not a pet.

Trained assistance animals of whatever kind are different, and we make exceptions for the special kind of animal, and by extension the owner who needs the assistance of that animal.

When we describe these pets using special terms like "emotional support animal" as though the pets themselves are qualitatively different from other pets and should be exempt in the same way as assistance animals are exempt, we confuse the issue for those who need to understand that assistance animals are a special case and must be allowed.

This isn't a real Assistance Dog website and they have no UK standing. The "registration" is just with that company and has no legal basis. Emotional support dogs are not in UK legislation.

Support Dogs are also not a UK term. I'm the UK support dogs refer to police, fire type dogs.

Assistance Dogs teams have no way of proving they're legal. You cannot request proof of disability. There is no UK legal register of Assistance Dogs and no UK testing standard. Assistance Dogs do need to live up to a certain standard but that is not set in stone.

Trained assistance dogs are working animals - that goes way beyond being a pet. They are accompanying their owner and doing a job of work.

It is an insult to their owners, the animals themselves (and their hard-working trainers) when people pull stunts like this.

She should be disgusted with herself.

There is no such thing as proof.

You can buy all manner of shit on Amazon like harnesses and even ID cards that state your dog is an emotional support dog, but all dog owners can do that if they wanted to.

She shouldn't have lied.

Dogs aren't allowed in all cafes and shops. There are cafes and shops to suit all definitions of appropriate. One of the joys of this life is that if you can just choose the ones that suit you best.