To be angry so many girls schools are going Co-Ed?

[FaeryRing]

Yet again it’s been proven girls do better in single sex schools (I have a son as well as a daughter so please don’t think I’m ’hating on boys’).

https://amp.theguardian.com/education/article/2024/may/12/girls-do-better-in-exams-at-all-girls-schools-than-mixed-research-finds

In my hometown growing up there were 4 girls schools. 1 grammar, 1 private, and 2 regular secondaries, meaning pretty much all parents regardless of background had access to single sex education for their daughters if they wanted it.

2 have announced their plans to go Co-Ed, with 1 already having done so, leaving just 1 (the grammar, so working class girls will be inherently disadvantaged). This seems to be a pattern across the country.

AIBU to be angry this is happening? Can’t girls have anything to themselves?

Urgh. Exactly.

If she likes cricket and rounders, she might like hockey? If there’s a club near you, she might like it.

Do you honestly think girls don't look at pornography too, even if it's just out of curiosity?

I'm sure but probably not to the same extent. But a girl who looks at it is far less likely to pose a genuine physical risk to my dd than a boy who does.

Yes, I do agree in part, not that my DS or his friends would ever behave like that but I think P.E is one of the biggest problem areas. I really am not an advocate of mixed games like football up until year 10 though, I don’t understand the thinking on that.

Good point about the hockey not with boys though!

That's a fair point. I'm forty, so I'm lucky enough to have avoided all of that.

A boy who looks at pornography isn't automatically a risk either though, you must understand that?

Some girls attack other girls for a whole host of other reasons too, verbally and/or physically, so there is definitely risk from that.
The main bullies at my CoEd school were approx 90% female, 10% male and the girls often found faults because of jealousy or wanting to be the most popular in the year!
We all know that male on female violence is an issue, but suggesting that every single boy at your child's school is more of a risk than every single girl just isn't realistic.

Exactly. It’s extremely concerning. And anyone who says it’s not, doesn’t understand what’s going on.

Eg. Strangling is becoming some sort of ‘norm’ in these videos. But called ‘breathing games’. No. No. Most women do not want to be strangled whilst having sex.

Theres a lot more. But not for this forum.

"(the grammar, so working class girls will be inherently disadvantaged)."

Don'y confuse class with intelligence.

suggesting that every single boy at your child's school is more of a risk than every single girl just isn't realistic

Literally nobody has done that. You’re arguing against something that isn’t even real.

In that case we all have a responsibility to make sure our sons and daughters know that pornography is not reality - yes it might be an awkward conversation but it needs to be said, and if you actually speak with your child regularly there should be opportunities at some point or other!

Actually, if you read the comments you will see that people are doing just that.

I'm not suggesting every boy is a risk. One is enough.

😂🤷‍♀️ 💯

One violent female is also enough though.
One violent anybody is enough.

It might be dressed in different wording, but it's exactly what has been consistently happening on this thread.
It's quite sad really.

we all have a responsibility to make sure our sons and daughters know that pornography is not reality

I hear this a lot and I really think it's missing the point. I was exposed to hardcore pornography (which is most mainstream online porn) at a young age and it was traumatising for me. I can still visualise what I saw 25 years later.

It would have made no difference for someone to say "that's not reality". That was a real woman and those were real men. Millions and millions of real men (and real women) are watching it. It is reality. This is the reality that we live in.

I have not read the thread but I went to a girls school. There were a lot of girls in my year pregnant within a year of leaving. I've always thought this was because we were not used to being around boys. Many of us barely knew any. I think co ed schools teach you valuable life skills in how to deal with boys\men.

A female teenager is far less likely to pose a risk of sexual violence than a male one. Now of course that doesn't mean every girl is safe and every boy is dangerous but statistics certainly show us that males pose more of a danger than females. It's just a fact

Clearly that was traumatic for you and I am sorry you experienced that.
I am not sure this really further the argument for SS schools though, unless you are saying that the only way a girl sees pornography is when a boy shows it to her (because we know that isn't true)?

I am not arguing that males don't statistically pose more of a danger, but some people seem to be jumping to all school boys posing a danger to all girls (and thus we must keep them apart for as long as possible).

What would you say the likelihood is of a boy showing a girl extreme pornography versus another girl showing a girl extreme pornography?

No. My daughters to go to a single sex school (that they enjoy), where they flourish academically and in sports. No need for any boy fckwittery. By the time they’re old enough, and their brains are developed enough, to deal with men - they’ll be a lot more equipped to do so.

Obviously they are largely disliked, if there was sufficient demand for them the schools wouldn't be going co-ed.

I don't know anyone who went to my co-ed who says they wouldn't want to send their children to a co-ed. All my friends who went to the local girls school hated it and wouldn't send their kids to a single-sex school. Lots of them developed mental health problems whilst there (admittedly that could be just as prone to any issues like confounding by indication as research on excel results can be).
What i've definitely observed though is much more worrying behaviour/acceptance of poor standards of male behaviour from women who went to single-sex schools. Girls who go to co-ed schools grow up seeing the full range of male behaviour - the ones who are friendly and respectful of women and those who are not. They (the heterosexual ones anyway) develop crushes on and relationships with the boys they've developed friendships with (and who are the same age as them). The single-sex educated girls do not get that chance, they are just as interested in boys but don't have the same access to develop healthy relationships and therefore develop more inappropriate crushes on and relationships with the few males they do have access to.

And then there's the negative impact males attending all boys schools has on male social attitudes to women. Those boys become men who've spent their formative years never working alongside girls/women. The main roles women have taken in their lives (and for many the only) are as caregiver and object of sexual interest. In a society where that's often the messaging they receive from media etc too, is it any surprise that that's how they often continue to view women as adults.

I would take the odd annoying boy who plays up in class over the man who denies women career opportunities any day of the week.

I did. I made progress (slowly, over a decade) in some areas. It didn’t solve the overall problem. And this was with a naice school with a receptive SLT - it’s probably the best set up I could have hoped for - but it was still significantly focused on managing the behaviour of some boys as they were the ones who, if not managed, stopped the rest of the class learning. I get why, I just think that in practice and despite being very well-meaning, it disadvantaged girls. And I’m glad I had the choice to opt out of it.

I think you’re unfair to say make change happen. As a parent, I really don’t have much influence over the school my DC attend. Not enough to change societal norms.

It isn't "the odd annoying boy" people send their daughters to single sex schools for though, it is for the girl. For her benefit.

Boys have many choices of boys only or co-ed, both have been shown to help them, the co-ed at detriment to the girls. Just because some parents see this and choose to keep their girls in the best place for them has zero impact on anyone else.

Taking away their choice to do that because of poor funding for girl's education is an issue. Taking choices away from people is generally not a good thing for progress.