Feeling bad about child's party invites

[SummerFinally]

My child recently had a birthday party which the venue limited to so many children.
Unfortunately we couldn't invite everyone we know even though I'd have loved to but obviously close friends and family take priority.

Since the party there has been snide messages and comments about people's children that haven't been invited. I feel awful as I said, I wish I could have hosted everyone!

Has anyone else had a similar experience

I'd ignore.

You simply can't invite everyone you know ?! They are being ridiculous.

I probably would’ve changed to a different venue that could accommodate all of DC’s friends

Thats unfortunate. Do you have a garden? Why not organise a big garden play date (not a party) with all the friends and when you invite the kids you can explain the problem about the venue.

Its really hard when there’s a cap on numbers and you have to select friends.

@SpringKitten

This is a great idea thank you

What age? Pre-school I wouldn’t have selected a venue that excluded any friends or family. Now my kid is at school it tends to be smaller parties with select group of school friends and maybe a cake at home with grandparents/cousins.

Snide messages from who? Neighbours/parents from school?

If its parents from school, how many kids in class and how many were invited?

Lots of people do small parties, and little friendships often change before the day, so nobody should be making snide comments regardless of invites or not.

A summer party with the others invited instead could be nice, if they are usually normal people.

Depends on the age of the child. But if they have been to s lot of parties snd then friends were excluded from this,because a venue was chosen that couldn't accommodate,I probably wouldn't say anything but would think twice about the invite nect year - unless of course my child snd yours became really close. If it happened again I'd be very annoyed.
My wee nephew had a party in a trampoline place,my brother in law booked "2 parties" as number for 1 was capped. Was this an option? The place said everyone does it.

@Hopingtobe4

This is a great idea however as a single mum it's not financially an option

Yes who was so upset as to send snide messages? That's really odd.

How old was your child?

If it’s about a classmates how many did you invite and how many did you leave out?

devil in the detail

how many did you exclude from the class?
these snide comments… what were they? perhaps you just seeing shadows
what was your relationship like with the people who supposedly made the snide comments beforehand?
and was your child invited to their child’s?

Devil in the detail.

It's a child's party.

Posters have asked a few things

So child was 9
Last year they had a village hall style party where everyone we could possibly thing of was invited. This year they had cousins, friends and then 4 people from their class

So who was messaging you?

and not one single one of these answered!

You started the thread, no need to behave badly towards those who are responding to you.

This snippy comment of yours makes me wonder if there isn't a lot more going on leading to the "snide comments". Do you have general dismissive or rude tendencies with other mums in your child's circle?

"Exclude from the class" like it was purposefully.
That's why I didn't reply.

Ok thanks for everyone with helpful answers

You've given no proper detail, stop being obtuse.

You sound very easily offended, so I suspect you've made a drama out of fairly innocuous comments made to you.

Its tricky.

You can do whatever you want, but be aware that there can be a bit of reciprocity thing with parties.

There's a child in my dc class who's mother has parties for her birthday and just invites the mothers own friends & their similar aged children (from other schools etc, not local), and doesn't invite half her daughters best friends from school. This gets awkward when its clear there was a fairly big party. The children are disappointed, they invited her to their party but aren't invited back. At age 9 usually their classmates are the people they are most focussed on. We had the DC cousins when they were little but by age 8/9 children usually want their school friends more & they get prioritised if there's not the money for both.

@Pin0cchio
Thank you for this fair feedback makes me look at things more fair

You haven't bothered your arse answering questions raised by posters.
Your child is 9 - tick one answer
4 invited from school -tick one answer

Unanswered:
Who messaged with snide comments?
How many kids are in the class of your DC (of same sex).
What were the snide comments?
Where was the party held?

@ZekeZeke lol

YABU just for being so fucking reticent with relevant facts OP.

But if adults at school are dropping in comments about a party their kids weren’t invited to, that’s not on. It’s rude.

What are the snide messages and comments? Are you overthinking as you're sensitive about numbers? How did your child feel about inviting just 4 from the class?