To want to find & correct neighbour who thinks DH is cheating?!?

[PopandFizz]

Hi all,

A bit of a funny one!
So we have a cleaner who comes weekly to the house. I'm self employed so it also means it one of my working days and a lot of it is meetings zoom/teams based which I normally take from dining room as DH is in the office and I'm loud. On the cleaner day I go out to a nearby pub that does coffee, cake and WiFi for the morning (as I often get last minute invites to jump on calls) as there isn't another room I could take a meeting in without the cleaner disrupting.

Our cleaner uses all our own products and hoovers etc as part of the service. They don't wear a uniform.

So last week we had a letter hand posted through the door, with our address on, addressed to 'The lady of the house at number 3' when only my car was on the drive. In it was a handwritten letter telling me that every week an hour or so after I leave on a Thursday my husband has a female visitor who stays a couple of hours amd then leaves. They've noticed this for some time and debated saying something but didn't until the week prior when I didn't leave the house and the woman didn't come round. 'I hope you get to read this and your husband doesn't intercept the letter predicting it's contents'

Well I didn't leave the house cos the cleaner was on holiday 🤣🤣

So, this very much tickled me and God bless her for trying to warn me but I do feel an urge to make sure she knows that it's the cleaner. What can I do?! I can't knock around to tell every neighbour with a view of our house. There's only 1 neighbour I know it isn't because they know our names lol

So yeah...advice? AIBU and should just leave it? DH laughed and said at least someone is looking out for you but doesn't understand why I feel an urge to correct the situation lol

Think we've found the neighbour

I'd welcome her in next time, to show everything is fine. It will be a neighbour opposite, who can clearly see your door. They had good intentions. Girl code.

Do you have a local community facebook page that you could post on with a picture of the letter and an explanation? "To the anon who left me this, thanks for your concern but..."

She will probably be disappointed that there's an innocent explanation.

10/10. Top Mumsnetting.

I love this ❤️

I love when women look out for other women.

I would definitely tell the cleaner, just in case the woman confronts her.

it is funny but i am tempted not to correct them

actually there is nothing you can do as you dont know who wrote the note

Either that or it’s a sign of ND/autism/ADHD or possible early dementia in the nosey neighbour…..

Bet you were a Covid curtain twitcher too.

Say what now ??!

This is very funny.

When I went abroad to look after my elderly mum and ended up staying for 5 months, it was so obvious when I got back that the neighbours had been gossiping and wondering what happened to me. So when I returned, Dh and I received so many loud and smiley hellos on our drive from the neighbours. People are nosey. We laughed so much about it. They all looked really happy to see I was back and DH hadn't lost his wife lol lol

I also agree that posters are always told to let the person know. You cannot win on MN. lol Do greet cleaner openly and happy at the door and have a 5 min chat. Or just stay in for one day to put the neighbour's mind at rest. It is sweet what they did.

I'm self employed so it also means it one of my working days and a lot of it is meetings zoom/teams based which I normally take from dining room as DH is in the office and I'm loud. On the cleaner day I go out to a nearby pub that does coffee, cake and WiFi for the morning (as I often get last minute invites to jump on calls)

Maybe you can explain the situation on one of the loud calls you're making in a public place? It'll make a nice change for your audience from listening in to commercially sensitive conversations, after all.

In our old house we were having some internal building work done, knocking down a stud wall, replastering, flooring etc, so had a steady stream of builders coming and going for weeks on end. One day I stumbled across a local Facebook group post, where someone was asking for advice with dealing with noisy neighbours. My own neighbour piped up saying, "at least you don't live next door to the local knocking shop!" and went on to detail how as soon as my husband left for work each day, I'd have a "queue" of men outside coming and going, and "banging" around all day. Someone had wrote, "it sounds like maybe they've got builders in" but she completely denied that possibility as "there's no scaffolding up, and they don't have the money to pay for builders" was absolutely mortifying, she obviously didn't realise I was in the Facebook group! We actually had a fair bit of money, and we're doing the house up to sell, to move to a nicer area. I never commented or mentioned it to her, as basically every other poster was telling her she was nuts, and to mind her own business, and I didn't want to make things awkward as we knew we'd be moving within the year anyway. She was always nice as pie to my face 😄

My mum and dad broke up when I was 5. My mum bought me a life like 6m doll. She was heavy and my mum used to carry her. One of our neighbours confronted my mum about having another child with "no man on the scene, how she'd get a name for herself etc etc" luckily my mum put them straight very quickly 🤣

Maybe they think she services the house and then your husband, hence him not actually needing the full 2 hours 😁

I would try and spread the rumour round that you are actually swingers

I also agree that posters are always told to let the person know.

Only if it’s the man of the couple cheating. If it’s the woman posters are told to keep out of it and mind their own business.

Ahh, the school gate and the rumour mill.
Long ago, when I was young and slim, I went to work as usual. Except I was dropped off by an attractive young man in a flash car who gave me a cuddle and a kiss who was not my husband. He’d done it a couple of times that week.
There was a Y4 school trip, leaving early and the slapped-arse faces of the mothers dropping off their children was almost universal. Then the gossip spiralled to ridiculous heights. My moral unfitness to teach, as I was obviously having an affair. To the point where the head of governors cornered me and demanded that I explain.
Called a meeting, with my head and my union rep. At which I broke out a few family photos and introduced them to my brother.

If the only ‘evidence’ of an affair was a two-hour visit to the marital home in the same daytime time slot once a week, where the visitor parked openly at the house and went inside with no suggestion of any subterfuge, I think virtually any person of average intelligence would conclude that a cleaner visit was more likely than a sexual assignation.

I’m actually with a pp who finds the oddest part of this thread that the OP who acknowledges that she’s ‘loud’ on Zoom meetings to the point where she can’t share the office with her DH, goes to a pub while the cleaner works and presumably deafens everyone there? If I’m WFH when our cleaner comes. I just ask her to either leave the room I’m working in, or move temporarily while she cleans.

At the appointed time chase hubbie down the road while hitting him in the head with a mop - put the fun back into life 😉

Omg this is too funny 😆

I think it's really sweet your neighbour is looking out for you. I once had a neighbour who did similar although she spoke to me - it wasn't anonymous. My sister was coming for the weekend and my husband (then boyfriend) went to pick her up from the station before I got home from work and neighbour saw them arriving and going into our flat whilst my car wasn't there! I just thanked her and explained and she was pleased and relieved.

If my husband WAS cheating I would want to know!

Aren’t people strange? I would find a nosy neighbour clocking my DH going into my house with a woman while my car wasn’t there and bustling over to tell me of her ‘discovery’ an utterly bizarre thing to do, and would probably have had a word about this person maybe stopping curtain-twitching and getting a life, rather than creating imaginary adulterous dramas because she’s bored.

I'd chuck a sign in a front window for a couple of days saying "No worries, just the cleaner!"

Should make it clear to the letter writer without meaning anything to any one else. Maybe don't do it on a day your cleaner is due though, she'd be most confused!