Takeaways every night !

[Lookwhostalking25]

I am sure I will be absolutely jumped on
but I just cannot get the hang of sorting dinner out 😂😂🙈
single mum of 3 ( baby and 2 primary school kids, one of which is disabled ) widowed nearly a year now.
I can juggle about everything else but food I struggled before returning back to work but wasn’t too bad but since returning I just haven’t managed it.
today was day 14 of takeouts after going back to work 2 weeks ago 😂😂
please send me tips because I’m sure the kids will come accustomed very shortly to take our lives haha !

How about just some “freezer” dinners. Like nuggets and oven chips? Takes seconds to shove on a tray and less expensive. Just until you get your routine and cooking sorted

Be kind to yourself, you're doing your best. The main thing is that you guys are fed. I can't imagine how you must have got through these past months. To then start back at FT work is a huge shock to the system too xx

If you're going to venture back into home cooking, then start small. I'd second trying to buy the family sized pre-made meals from M+S or Sainsbury's: lasagne, cottage pie etc. You can also buy pre-prepped veggie sides to make things easier. Do a pizza night (buy frozen pizza from store and just cook at home), pasta night (pre-made from store, or fresh pasta and pre-made sauce), Indian night etc). Keep things simple: jacket potato and beans/tuna mayo/chilli con carne/cheese. Sausages with mash and gravy and veg. Omelette or scrambled egg on toast. Fish fingers, chips, veg.

When you do venture back into cooking from scratch, what kitchen gadgets do you have? Do you have a large slow cooker/Instant Pot? Or one of those Ninja Foodie type things that acts as an airfryer, slow cooker, pressure cooker etc? IF you do, bung all the stuff in there to make a slow cooked meal for one night (maybe at weekend), but double up the recipe to make extra portions, and then freeze what you don't eat. I do that a lot (it means I'm cooking food for that evening but also have a meal for later in the freezer). Often, we use the leftovers for taking to work/school the next day. My mum taught me to cook very well but the kitchen gadgets I have save me a lot of time when I'm doing a lot of cooking (when my folks died, I used a little bit of the money they left me to invest in a Thermomix and a Ninja Foodie and couple of robovacs to make my life a bit easier). The airfryer is fab because my kids (now that they're older) know how to use it to make things. I've got a recipe for risotto that is done in about 7minutes (cooking time) using the pressure cooker function).

I'm a single parent of two and work FT....but my youngest is 10 now, and my FT hours are condensed into 4 days, so I have a day off in the week to cook up a load of stuff (and try and make my house look less like a bomb site). Even then, I still will get days where I'm too knackered to do anything and buy in a take out (like last night! I could have used the bloody burgers in my fridge and bought in rolls/prepped some wedges. I didn't, I got them as bloody takeout). xx

I think you will find you will hit your stride soon (two weeks is nothing) so don't be too hard on yourself.

My suggested solution -for the time being - involves supermarket ready meals. Do an online shop and buy lots of 1 or 2-person ones (curry, stew, potato topped pies, lasagne, whatever) and fill up the fridge and freezer. Also lots of easy to prepare starch (microwavable cooked rice, one minute pasta, three minute noodles, potato waffles) and tinned and frozen veg. Be ruthless. If it needs any prep, don't buy it.

Those meals are always too big for one person, so you bulk it up with lots of starch and veg. Add yogurt and fruit.

We did this during the last weeks of a relative's life. It meant not having to think about food and we got back to normal afterwards. You would hopefully find you gradually reintroduce more homecooked food as you go along.

I made a list of quick dishes I could get on the table in 20/30 mins - on weekdays we have those on rotation. Quick pastas, stir fries, omelettes, that sort of thing.

If I'm wfh I'll do a slow cooker chilli / casserole. I don't have a slow cooker, but I just slow cook in the oven.

At the weekend I make more than I need and freeze portions.

I would always have an M&S lasagne it something in the freezer as a backup too.

It's about getting organised really. It takes time to get the process down.

If kids have a cooked meal at school/childcare then it’s okay for dinner to be sandwiches and cut up veg with a yogurt.

Family size oven cook ready meals eg lasagne from supermarket plus cut up fresh veggies for a starter while it’s cooking. ideal for the weekend plus next to no washing up!

Stir fry and rice cooker rice. Get a rice cooker, virtually no effort and can have ready to go in fridge to heat in microwave if you need it. Buy pre chopped veg and frozen pre cooked prawns that you just put in from
frozen or cooked roast chicken and a packet sauce, can make enough for 2 days.

Try a Cook meals pack if you are still going through a difficult time. Cheaper and healthier than takeaways. Good to have some in the freezer as back ups.

Slow cooker.
M and S do big family sized ready meals you’d just bung in the oven and cut up some veg.
Easy kid stuff, scrambled eggs, beans on toast, baked potato.
But, you’re doing so well to be managing 3 kids and work in your circumstances. Don't be hard on yourself.

I admire your honesty OP. It's got to be tough to be a widow with young children. However diet is so important. Don't switch to chicken nuggets type meals except for emergencies. Just slowly build up 5-6 quick meals. Have take a way as a treat once a week. For example as others have said Bolognese in 15 mins. Put on some pasta to boil. Simply fry onion and garlic (you can get garlic granules if that's easier) mince, whatever veg are hanging around (frozen mix if you cant be bothered to cit up veg). Put in a can of chopped tomatoes. Add a splash of vinegar, sugar, soy sauce to taste.

If you're feeling experimental have some salad and garlic bread on the side! Add some fresh basil to the sauce.

Gousto etc are very good as they will help teach you a range of options.

Good luck OP

You are right to consider which takeaways to swap out - but not all are unhealthy.

If you live in an area which includes more vegetable/fresh type options in takeaways then swap those out last. Try to add some extra fresh veg to the ready meals you buy - again frozen and partially prepped is fine.

You have been widowed less than a year - that is no time at all to adjust. It will come but its slow.

You are doing amazingly in awful circumstances, you should be proud! If cooking was your husband's main task maybe there is a bit of an emotional memory attached to cooking (it would be same in my house if the same happened so no judgement here)

Maybe start small with simple egg/beans on toast etc then get a simple slow cooker. You could even throw all the ingredients in it before bed, put the pot in the fridge overnight then switch on in the morning.

Love you to and the kids ❤️

Haven't read the full thread so apologies if already mentioned but are the kids having a cooked school lunch? When I struggled with working and kids dinners we swapped expectations of lunch and dinner. Lunch was always the most substantial balanced meal on offer that day from school and dinner was a packed lunch and lots of fresh fruit veg snacks.

I think the best way is a simple meal plan and buy everything you need for the week for those meals in one big online delivery. That way you know when you get home there is food in the fridge for every night. Cook simple meals.

Pasta and tomato sauce with grated cheese on.
Fish fingers, chips and peas,
Ready cooked chicken with simple salad, coleslaw and new potatoes,
Ready made steak pie with broccoli, carrots and microwave mash.
Fajihtas
Sausage, baked beans and hash browns.

Ready prepped stir fry and ready marinated chicken pieces. Anything you can stick in an air fryer. Frozen peas and sweetcorn on the side. Easy cook ready meals like fish pie that are already done you just oven them. Make a list and get a supermarket delivery.

It is the mental load of meals that is the nightmare. Planning, Shopping, weighing, cooking, an endless cycle! And not something you night have head space for right now on top of everything else.

when we are feeling flush we use Mindful Chef. I love it. Everything comes measured and the recipe are super easy to follow. We dont subscribe atm but have about ten recipe books and use those regulalry. I think sometimes you just need it really really simple and then after that you can do it yourself with much kess thought.

Well done, OP. You are feeding your 3 kids after being widowed and juggling work too.

Right, the delay timer on an oven is amazing for things like jacket potatoes - spear them up in the morning, leave in oven and set cooking to start an hour before you get home. After that you have 30 mins to an hour to potter and sort kids as they pots finish cooking.

Delay timer is also great for big frozen items that can thaw before being cooked. They can be left in the oven to thaw, delay timer kicks in and bobs your uncle, lasagne, cottage pie etc. Just make sure it's an item you can cook from either frozen or fresh.

Slow cooker!

Also second what a PP said as has been standard in our family: give them as much fruit and raw veg/salad as snacks. Prep the night before and dump in a massive tupperware. Kids chow down you have less pressure to hit their 5/7 a day when you make quick meals like:

• egg on toast/dippy eggs/beans on toast
• fishfinger sandwich (god tier dinner btw)
• freezer tapas with beans
• pasta with jar of sauce
• hot dogs (Frankfurter do chicken dogs which are lower in fat)

Then over time slowly build up to bigger more complex meals.

Iceland do great deals on small roast dinner components - meat, frozen potatoes, yorkies, frozen veg, gravy - another family staple here!

I recommend Gousto. It also helped my children to get involved and they now all cook.

Aldi do ready prepared stews too. Throw in a tin of tomatoes and chickpeas

OP you sound incredible and like you're doing an amazing job juggling so much when you've so much on your shoulders. The first thing to do is step back and look at what you've achieved in the past year because you've done what you had to, in the best interests of your family and that deserves recognition. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I find a slow cooker is my go to when I'm trying to cook something easy but healthy. I have a slow cooker where the pot inside lifts out so I can put it on the hob and cook my meat etc in it, then all the veg etc gets thrown in and it's left overnight to cook so in the morning all I need to do is turn it off and portion it out and stick it in the fridge. I do enough for us to all eat dinner and then freeze another dinners worth. Because I'm doing all cooking in the slow cooker, i have minimal dishes to do after which I love.

Do you have any family or friends who would step in and babysit, even just in your house for an hour or two so you can meal prep? Or could you take the money you're spending on takeaway and use that towards a babysitter? You can make slow cooker bags as well, you just chop and divide out your ingredients like veg and meat into freezer bags and label them you just dump it into the slow cooker, add sauce and leave it to do its thing.

If it were me I would aim to try and do that one night a week to start, then two nights, then three etc as it feels manageable and just build it up gradually so it's not a big chore or change all at once. BBC good food has lots of slow cooker recipes that are really easy to follow and turn out well.

I wouldn’t recommend Hello Fresh, it’s expensive and time-consuming. The prep times are for experienced cooks: I used to take twice or 3 times longer than it said and found it stressful and I didn’t like the quality of the meats.

I also wouldn’t recommend a slow cooker, again you need time to set this up in the morning and if you don’t brown meats before you start, it doesn’t turn out great.

I would recommend a microwave rice cooker (Sistema or M&S) and our easiest meals are microwave baked potato with beans and cheese, salmon baked in the oven (about 18-20 mins), chicken breasts baked in the oven (about 30 mins) - use schwartz chicken seasonings on top and you can be doing other things while cooking in the oven. Microwave frozen peas/veg in a pyrex bowl or jug. Tesco frozen mash tastes great. Egg noodles you just add to a pan of boiling water - Tesco brand noodles are fine. Pasta bakes you just bung in the oven are another good one.

Start simple, set up a grocery delivery. Well done for keeping going 👍😍

Someone mentioned jacket potatoes. What we do is bake them on a sunday with the roast and then reheat as needed in microwave throughout the week.

Plenty of answers to your question here.

I just wanted to say that you just do what you need to. It must have been a shock to become a widow with three children and you're still carrying on and putting food on the table. I think you're amazing.

Sorry for your loss. My DH does all the cooking in this house, everything cooked from fresh, my kids have never eaten freezer food. The only thing in my freezer is ice for the gin. If we lost him, I’d be exactly the same as you, living off high quality takeaways and getting poorer by the day.

Over lockdown I did help out more as I was stuck at home and I discovered the lovely Nagi at recipetineats.com

I have zero interest in cooking and no patience for it but I found her recipes so quick, easy and the family loved them. She uses mostly just store cupboard ingredients, minimal chopping, lots of shortcuts, she has a video for every one of her recipes and advice on substitutes if you don’t have a specific ingredient in the cupboard.

Good luck with it all and remember to be kind to yourself x

OP you’ve had some really great advice, just wanted to say you just need to make small changes. If you can afford it, M&S ready meals all the way. Add in some microwave veg bags, bung some butter on top and kids will be fine. But make changes gradually if easier.
I think you’re doing amazing- also you could try cruise bereavement counselling (while you wait for nhs).
Your kids don’t need you to be mum of the year, just their mum 💐

Absolutely swear by my instant pot and one pot meals.

Whack it all it, take it all out, wash one pot and lid and it's done.

Loads of one pot recipes out there.

I am sure the neighbours don’t love me for this, but I use my gas bbq so often for quick meals, regardless of the weather. I even did Christmas dinner on it one memorable year! It keeps grease, smells and mess out of the kitchen and I karcher it down when needed. Fire up, chuck food on, shut lid and go inside for wine until it’s ready.

Serve with ready prepared vegetables sticks and dips, wholemeal bread rolls and have ready prepared fruit and yoghurt for dessert or mini ice lollies. You can buy butchers’ boxes of meat online. Freeze and get out what you need that evening in the morning. Grill corn, courgettes, steak mushrooms and peppers if you want less meat. A bbq also means it is easy to give one kid chicken and the other a burger.

I would also plan in a midweek takeaway. As everyone says, you are doing really well and I would make it as easy as you can for now and not worry.